So I've Been Thinking...

On Not Being Silent

2012-02-08T21:32:00.002-07:00

Before you read what I have to say, head on over to Biblical Christianityand read what Dan Phillips had to say today. He says it well and he's making me think. After you read him, you can come back and read my thoughts.

Okay? My thoughts are going in 2 directions on this, outward and inward.

First the outward. When the kids want to talk about things, I listen. I let them tell me about school and TV shows and books and dreams and whatever is on their minds. They can tell me the same stories over and over and talk about the same topics everyday and I listen because I love them and even if I'm not interested in the topic, I'm interested in the people talking.
How much more should I want to listen to people who are talking about the bigger things in life. If someone I respect is talking (or writing) about the same thing for the fifth time (and not just whining or complaining but actually thinking) then maybe it's time to listen even more closely. Even if the issue isn't important to me, it is to him, and maybe by listening carefully I can find out why it should be important to me and what (if anything) I can do about it.

Then the inward: If the issues are big enough, what should I be doing? Listening is all well and good, but it won't change anything. The thing is, doing means work. It means knowing and understanding what's happening in the world that might affect my little world. It also means risking and being prepared for arguments and dissent. It's easier to talk about things that people agree about and to talk about the big issues in the safety of a group who agrees with me.
It's easy to rationalize silence, too. I'm a completely unknown person who writes sporadically on a blog with about 7 readers. I'm not about to change the world, and I'm not sure anyone outside of my little circle would even listen to me.
There's a bit of a poem, though, that's stuck with me for years. From "A Litany for Survival" by Audre Lorde:

and when we speak we are afraid
our words will not be heard
nor welcomed
but when we are silent
we are still afraid

So maybe it's time to speak up more and risk not being heard rather than risk not speaking words that need to be said.

It is with great joy...

2012-02-07T20:28:00.003-07:00

...that I announce the birth of nephew #7. Ever Wayne Gerald Gillings-Wassenaar was born early this morning and weighed in at 8lbs, 14ozs, He made his mom wait a full week (at least) before making his appearance. Rumor has it that his hair might account for some of that weight.

I now have 7 nephews and 6 nieces and I think that's going to be it. That's good. I can tell you their names, and with some thinking (and math) I can figure out their ages, and usually I can remember what month they were born, but that's it. I cannot remember most of their birthdays.

What I do remember is to love them and pray for them.

Church Notes

2012-01-29T20:41:00.003-07:00

I left my Sunday School class mostly to my helper today. It's a workbook Sunday and she takes those; I only do the beginning and ending of the class. While she had them come up with answers and made sure they were written down properly, I set up an email address for the church library. The library is in the classroom, so I could still pay some attention to what was going on.

The purpose for the email address: too many people are neglecting to return their books. I'm not talking a week or two past the due date, either; we have people with items due in October. It's getting frustrating and it leaves me wondering what people are thinking. Do they think it doesn't matter since it's the church? They may change their minds when they get an email telling them that we plan to start charging late fees. I received official permission last week, so maybe we won't have anymore items out for months on end.

Back to my class...they're still wonderful and funny. I told them at the beginning of class that they are all terrible, terrible children because most of them didn't know their memory verse and none of them had done the take-home page. They know that I love them, though.

The workbooks have a page of review questions and then a page with an activity of sorts. Sometimes the activity is stupid and we skip it, but not today. They were supposed to make a word search with words relating to our lesson. Four times I told them to make sure the word fit before writing it in and still there were cries of annoyance when the word didn't fit. I had to convince one child that he could not put three letters in the same box so the word would fit!

In church my small elf managed to write down some things that the pastor said (with a lot of prompting at first). The she drew a picture about the sermon, and then she did a crossword puzzle I had made for her about places in the life of Jesus (taken from the map in the back of my Bible). By then the sermon was almost over so I wouldn't give her back her notebook (I had been cleaning up already) and told her to listen for a few minutes. At the end she told me that it had been sooooooo loooooong....at least 5 minutes! Poor baby. One day I'm not going to keep her entertained and busy for the first 40 minutes and see how she likes that!

And, a hymn for this week:

Friends for Dinner

2012-01-27T20:52:00.002-07:00

Tonight I had friends over for dinner. We had blueberry pancakes, sausages, and carrot and celery sticks. These friends have small children: a 2-year old daughter and a 3-month old son. The daughter called the celery "broccoli" since that's the vegetable word she knows best. She also decided that I was Daddy and her daddy was Miss Dorothy. She's a sweetie and a lot of fun.

We continued a discussion from Bible study the night before: can a Christian be a government assassin? My friend had thought about it and he said that it would be a unique witnessing opportunity: you're about to die; let me tell you about Christ. I'm not so sure; what if you were a sniper and didn't talk with your marks before you shot them? We figured that it wouldn't be a job that a Christian should enjoy. We started talking about being a spy, but then there's a lot of deceit involved...we're not sure. Also, he thinks that there will likely be annoying people in heaven but they won't annoy us there. Then we were distracted by the small daughter who was happy to have an extra playmate.

It was a good day.

One of Those Days

2012-01-25T18:53:00.003-07:00

Today someone told me that I did a bad job because his child's marks didn't improve as much as his sister's had when she was in the same program. There were things I should have done better at the start and the lack of communication with the parents was my fault. Despite what the dad thinks, though, the child's marks are not my fault: I cannot do his school work for him and I cannot force him to apply skills. Still, he spent half an hour telling me how disappointed he was and leaving me feeling like quitting because I was so lousy at my job.

Today someone else was angry at me because I wouldn't honor a coupon she didn't give me when she was supposed to. At the end of the conversation she used a particular insult that I haven't heard since high school and, while I was stunned that she had actually used it, followed it up with another, more common (but still inappropriate to use in mixed company) word. I said something like, "Well, this is done," and hung up on her. It was not a good experience (although the upset was offset by the shock and the thought, "Did she really just say that? Are we back in junior high?").

And my boss was upset (although mostly not with me) about the first incident (he talks really fast when he's upset and doesn't wait for me to finish a sentence and his voice gets higher) and that's never fun. And then I spoke with my sort-of boss who stays calm, asks questions to get clarification, and couches his reprimand for anything that is my fault in general terms so that it is easier to take (e.g., "We need to make sure that we..." instead of "you should have..."), but it's still not fun to know that he's incredibly busy and I just made him busier fixing something that I maybe could have handled better at the start.

But.... I think I was more upset with myself than my bosses were.
Besides, at the end of the conversation with my sort-of boss, when we had started talking about other clients and their issues, he said something about managing expectations, and I sighed and said, "Yeah, I know; I already had that lecture once today" (although not really; my boss had just alluded to it and told me to remember it). My sort-of boss assured me that he had forgotten about the context of the beginning of the conversation when he said that and finished with, "That's done," and he meant it: no matter how much I mess up, when it's done, it's done, and no one will mention it again or ever use it against me. That is one of the best things about my bosses and it's why I never hesitate to tell them when there's a problem.

Plus...last night another parent was in. His daughter had just finished her first 80 hours and they had not indicated that they were going to purchase more (although they had willingly come in to talk when I emailed them). He told me that not only was his wife going to bring in a cheque for the next 80 hours later this week, but when the child was caught up in this area, they wanted to start her in another subject as well.

And...tomorrow will be a good day, and so will Friday. Tomorrow is Bible study day, which means supper with friends and getting to be part of the family and being with the kids and then, of course, Bible study. Thursdays are my happy days. Then Friday is a day off and other friends are coming for supper with their small children (their daughter is 2 and their son is just a baby) so that will also be fun.

So, it's been a day, but one bad day in the week is not too bad really.

True Christianity

2012-01-23T21:04:00.004-07:00

I regularly pray for my Sunday School and Junior Church students and my junior/senior high girls (and the boys) (and that covers most of the kids in church) is that they will know what it really means to be a Christian. I have known too many people who think that it is enough to have prayed a prayer once upon a time without any actual change, without anything that resembles repentance. They go through life fully convinced that they are Christians while living lives that completely ignore what Christ taught, that are totally self-focused, that are no different from the rest of the world. So I pray, and we talk a lot about what repentance is and what being a Christian really is, and then I pray more. At the very least, it will not be my fault if they go through life thinking that a vague belief and a few words are enough to make a person a Christian.

(Disclaimer: Yes, I know that I don't live up to Christ's perfect standard by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm talking about overall lifestyle that ignores Christ and often a willing pattern of sin. I also know that you don't have to agree with everything I say to be a Christian; the issue here is an unwillingness to listen to or consider what the Bible says.)

Today I was reading The World-Tilting Gospel (you should all read it) and Dan Phillips expressed exactly my concern and the reason for my frequent prayers:

"It is a mistake to parcel off this or that proposition and make it the Gospel. I squirm when I hear people say, "Believe that Jesus died for you, and you will be saved." I am afraid that someone will think, "Ah, so, if I just believe that one thing, I'm 'in'!" Then that same person will feel free to disbelieve Jesus when He talks about sexuality, about the OT, or about a host of other things -- because, after all, he believed that one think he had to believe, so he's saved.
The Gospel does call us to hear and understand truth. It does call us to accept certain propositions as true. But it also calls us to believe in Christ, in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ -- all of Him; and, believing, to rest on Him wholly." (167, emphasis his).

See: this is what I pray about: that they will not just go through life thinking that "Jesus died for my sins" or any other part of the truth is enough. It needs to be all of Christ, and He needs to be Lord of every part of our lives.

Okay, one more quotation from The World-Tilting Gospel, about what repentance is:

"The issue is whether your whole way of thinking pivots, from a world in which you and your wants, needs, biases, and desires are paramount ("lord") to you, to a totally different world in which Jesus is Lord, and you are His slave and student." (159).

Just saying the words, even in prayer, is not enough. Going to church regularly is not enough. There must be true repentance and true change.

(A side note about The World-Tilting Gospel: I'm only on page 175 and I've wanted to quote large portions of the book from the start, but I'm resisting. In about 130 more pages, I'll write you a proper review, but don't wait: go read the book.)

Church Notes

2012-01-22T14:56:00.004-07:00

Today my Sunday School class learned that truth cannot be determined by a vote; the majority can be wrong. To prove that I brought in a jar of liquid and they voted on what they thought it was. The majority guessed Kool-Aid; the truth is that it was apple juice with a little food coloring. I told them that there are people who think that if "most scholars" believe something about God it must be right; in fact, there is a group who votes on which parts of the Gospels are true, which are mostly true, and which are not true. My class was shocked to hear that, and agreed that it was a bad way to determine truth, especially since the Bible is God's Word and is all true.

Later we were talking about God and evil, and I asked them to prove that God isn't evil, even though He is in control of evil and uses evil for good. They talked vaguely about it being "somewhere in the Bible" but I told them that isn't good enough; they need to know what the Bible really says. None of them had an answer. I said, "So as far as any of you know or can prove, God might very well be evil then?" One young man looked very, very concerned and I finally had to reassure him that I did not believe that God is evil and that the Bible was clear on this; I just wanted them to think. Finally we determined that God is love, and if He is characterized by love, he cannot also be evil (He is love in every part of Him, so there is no place for evil).

Today's sermon was about Philippians 1:6, which left my small elf perplexed about what to draw (she usually illustrates the sermon). I showed her in the notes that the pastor was talking about joyful Christians so she drew a row of very happy Christians with their arms raised high. They had very long arms and very long bodies and very short legs!

A hymn for you, one that we sang this morning (although not exactly like this):

Bits and Pieces

2012-01-21T14:11:00.002-07:00

One of my teachers got engaged this week. It was an arranged marriage of sorts; some of her family knew some of his family; the families got together to make sure all the parents approved; they spoke some over a few weeks; then he came to officially propose. It wasn't arranged in that either of them was forced into it, but it was more arranged than many marriages. My teacher is happy with it that way; he's a nice guy (and very good looking) and they have enough in common. Now she's planning a trip to Pakistan to get her wedding outfit.

I've been re-reading the Little House books. I'm up to On the Banks of Plum Creek. It was time for Pa to make his trip to town, and they're close enough that it's only a day trip. This meant that Ma could go to (in her best dress that she wore to the sugaring-off dance in the Big Woods). Carrie was too young to stay home without Ma so she went too (in a new pink dress and bonnet, looking like a little rose) but Mary and Laura were old enough to stay home all day. After all, Mary was going on 9 and Laura was going on 8, and there were no wolves or Indians in Minnesota.

From the best I can figure on the map, when the Ingalls travelled west from the Big Woods in Wisconsin, they went west and south to end up in Kansas. Then when they left there, they went north and east (although not much east) because they settled in Minnesota, which borders Wisconsin. Later they went further west, to the Dakota territories, which border Minnesota. When I was younger, I thought they went way out west, like at least as far as Alberta (which, in the states, would be around Montana). When I was older I realized that they didn't make it any further than Manitoba. I had no idea how slow it was to travel by covered wagon.

Speaking of covered wagons....on one of the math cards at work, one of the fraction questions was about a wagon train getting 7/8 of a mile in a day. From the best we can figure, by the time they reached Oregon, they would all be dead.

That was about as bad as the word problems one of my students was writing. You have 10 kittens, and together they weigh 20 grams. How much does one kitten weigh? She was surprised when I showed her just how little 2 grams is; we're not sure where those kittens came from. On the other hand, she also wrote a problem about Skittles that weighed 100 grams each (or thereabouts). Yes: in her world, Skittles can crush kittens!

The church library will have a budget this year, although a very, very small budget. Still, we should be able to purchase a couple new books. It looks like we're going to be counting on donations, sales, used bookstores, and damaged books. That last category is my favourite. One of the guys at my church runs a Christian bookstore, and whenever he gets a damaged book in a shipment it's written off and can't be sold, so he brings them all to me! Usually the damage is something small, and sometimes we have to look for it; the books are still good.

And that's a wee bit of what's going on in my mind lately!

Our Influence

2012-01-16T21:31:00.002-07:00

I've been thinking, lately, about how much we influence the world around us. I've always thought that I have a small sphere of influence: a handful of blog readers, a Sunday School class, and the rest of the kids at church who come to play. It isn't much, but I'm pretty happy with it. Still. sometimes I'd like to go out and change the world!

Then one of the men at the church said something that got me thinking. He's one of the elders as well as the father of one of my Sunday School boys. He was telling me that his son sometimes comes out with deep stuff that he's learned from me, and that really, I'm influencing future generations. We were interrupted then, so the conversation ended on that note.

So now I'm thinking: in teaching my kids, I'm giving them the knowledge of God that they are going to pass down to their children. By having the girls over for sleepovers and the boys over to watch movies and play with Lego, I'm modeling hospitality for them, showing them a way of living that they might remember when they are adults. And they're watching me, talking with me, listening to me. (Side note: I know their parents, their other teachers, their friends, their pastors, etc. are all also part of this, and I'm not trying to take away from their influence; in fact, this would apply to them as well.)

It makes me feel my responsibility so much more. I'm not only teaching this generation, I'm setting things up for the next ones as well.

Martin Luther

2012-01-15T20:45:00.002-07:00

Today I taught my Sunday School class about Martin Luther. I started by discussing the difference between Martin Luther and Martin Luther King, Jr.: that they are two different people who lived over 400 years apart. After that brief lesson, I told my class that they are now smarter (on this topic) than most people who confuse the two (usually because they've never heard about Martin Luther).

We then went through Luther's life. They were confused about the Papal Bull (thinking it was a paper bull at first...which is almost accurate, given that it was a letter) and cheered when Luther and his friends burned it. They were disappointed that the Diet of Worms was a meeting at a place, not a punishment meal. The whole time they were waiting for him to be burned at the stake; there was some hope when he was kidnapped on the way home from Worms, but that turned out to be friends. In the end....he died at home in his bed. It was a disappointment for some of my class, but rather nice for Luther!

Now, for comparison purposes: Martin Luther at the Diet of Worms from two different Luther movies. It's interesting, how differently they portrayed him.

A History Lesson

2012-01-13T17:18:00.002-07:00

Once upon a time the Americans tried to take over Canada. They failed miserably. If you ask any American, however, they will either claim that they won or ask what on earth you're talking about.

Fact: the only American I ever spoke with about it claimed an American victory because it was about the issue of impressment of American sailors of British birth by the British, a practice that ended as a result of the war.

Further fact: The impressment issue was not even mentioned in the treaty that ended the war because the issue was already moot; after Napoleon was defeated the British didn't need sailors and quit taking Americans of British birth (they also quit searching American ships for British deserters even though even the Americans had conceded that point).

Final fact: The Americans wanted to take all of Canada. The British/Canadians defended their border. In the end, the treaty returned any claimed territory and the Americans did not get a bit of the Canadas.

Therefore: we won.

And here, to explain it fully, the Arrogant Worms!

Disclaimer: I do not advocate burning down the White House. Ever. By anyone. Unless the Americans attack us again.

Secret Believers

2012-01-11T21:39:00.004-07:00

Here it is: the first book review of 2012. I just finished Secret Believers: What Happens When Muslims Believe in Christ by Brother Andrew and Al Janssen.

Secret Believers is essentially biography; it tells about several believers in a predominantly Muslim country who are believers, some from Christian families but primarily Muslim converts. The people are not given their real names and are generally (but not always) composites of different people; this way, the reader gets a clear picture of what is happening without putting the lives of the believers at risk. For this reason, the country is also never named.

Most of the book is a story about what happens to these believers: how they come to know Christ and how that changes their lives. It shows the persecution they face from family, their community, and often the governing officials. While never graphic, the violence against believers is described as some of the men are arrested and beaten, threats are made against the churches and pastors, and violence against believers and their businesses become more frequent.

The second part of the book talks about how to respond, both for those living under persecution and those of us in the free world. The authors encourage love for Muslims, leading to prayer for them and their leaders, and to forgiveness for the atrocities done. We need to be willing to pray for both the persecuted Christians and the Muslims. It is Christ and Christ alone who can change people's lives.

I enjoyed reading Secret Believers; it was interesting and well-written, and it made me think a lot. We have it very easy here in Canada, and I think we forget how bad things are for many believers in the world. We need to remember because "when one member suffers, all the members suffer with it" (1 Corinthians 12:26; you should really read the whole chapter). We are all part of one body.

One of the believers in the book asked that we in the west pray "that [they] remain strong and not fall back...[and] for the second generation of Christians. [Their] children are really suffering" (249). Another asks, "Please pray with us. Many times I've told the church outside 'Don't pray for us. Pray with us.' Can you see the difference? If you pray for me, you will pray for my safety and my prosperity. No, just pray with me for the Muslims to know Christ" (251, emphasis in the original).

And so I challenge you: will you join with me in praying with the persecuted church? And in praying for the salvation of the Muslims?

For more information, check out secretbelievers.org. There you can read about specific believers and countries.

The Ecuador Martyrs

2012-01-09T21:23:00.002-07:00

Sunday was the 56th anniversary of the martyrdom of the missionaries in Ecuador: Jim Elliot, Nate Saint, Peter Fleming, Ed McCully, and Rodger Youderian. If you head over to Challies.com you'll find some links that tell the story.

It has me thinking: granted, they didn't know they would die, but even then they were giving up a comfortable life, familiarity, convenience...the American dream... to bring God's word to people who would otherwise have no way to know Him. And after their deaths, Jim's wife and small daughter and Nate's sister headed into the jungle to live with and minister to the people who had killed the men.

The video at the bottom also talks about Eric Liddel. Eric was an Olympic athlete who went to China as a missionary. Despite the dangers, he stayed and eventually died there.

It just leaves me thinking.

Getting Along

2012-01-07T10:56:00.002-07:00

"Why can't we all just get along?" This is the rallying cry of those who dislike division and want everyone to be happy and affirmed and tolerant -- it's all about being tolerant.

Well, we can all get along. At work we have 2 Muslims, 2 Christians, and 2 Hindus (although one of them says he's an atheist now) and we all get along just fine. I disagree with friends about whether it's okay to use pictures of Jesus when teaching Sunday School and if women should wear head coverings at church, and we all get along just fine.

"Getting along" does not require total agreement on every point. It is completely possible to disagree with someone and still be friends. It is possible to debate issues and to hold differing beliefs without animosity.

"Being tolerant" does not require total agreement on every point. It means that we disagree but we don't hate each other. It means that I think you're wrong and you think I'm wrong but we're still friends and neighbours and co-workers.

We cannot say that completely contradictory beliefs are both right. A thing cannot both be and not be simultaneously.

Saying that I have to affirm everyone's belief as equally valid is nonsense and very intolerant besides; after all, my beliefs include the belief that non-Christians are wrong. So, if you want to be tolerant and get along...affirm that.

On Reviewing Books

2012-01-04T21:30:00.002-07:00

I like books. I like reading books and I like talking about books. This year I plan to do more book reviews and recommendations. As such, I've been thinking about what sort of books I want to write about here.

I read blogs that review books and blogs whose authors write books (and some blogs that have nothing to do with books, but they're irrelevant here). Of late, there's been a lot of talk about a new book written by a celebrity pastor. From what I've read (and I've skipped most of it) it's not a book we need to be reading. In fact, at least some of the bloggers seem to be writing to warn against the book.

Now, I understand that. There are books written that will be embraced by many, many people that are at best fluff and at worst really, really bad theology. I understand wanting to warn people, and if you say "don't read this book" you need to say why.

But....a lot of time and attention and publicity have been given to this book. At the same time, these bloggers are ignoring books that should be read. Perhaps it's because they don't have time for every book out there; perhaps it's that they don't feel the need to warn people about certain books. I don't know.

Here's what I do know: I don't want to spend my time on books that no one should read. Instead, I've decided that books I review here will be books that are worth the time it takes to read them, books that will help people (or entertain people; I don't read only nonfiction). I don't want to give publicity to books that should be ignored, and I do want to promote books that should be read.

In the event that I do talk about the other sort of book, it will be for a very good reason and I will have discussed it with some people I trust first.

And on that note...go read a book!

Books of 2011

2011-12-31T11:56:00.002-07:00

Okay, so I should be doing a "top 10 of 2011" post. Mine would be about books. Here's the problem: I don't actually know all the books I read in 2011. In fact, I only know one person who knows what books she read because she made a list. I think I'll do the same for 2012; I'd like to track what I read.
I have looked over my bookshelves, checked my library records, and looked at what I bought on-line. It helped a bit. Instead of a "top 10" I'll tell you what I read that you should read, in no particular order (most of them were read in the past 3 or 4 months, because that's how far back my memory goes).

God's Wisdom in Proverbs, by Dan Phillips: go down a few posts and find out why you should read it.

But God... by Casey Lute: To be completely honest, I bought this because I like the words "but God" but mostly because I know Casey and wanted to support him. It is a very, very good book. I wrote a review of it somewhere.

Just Do Something, by Kevin DeYoung: I did a review of this too; it's really good for countering the "you need to hear a voice or have a feeling before you act" crowd.

Uneclipsing the Son, by Rick Holland: One of the best books I read this year, and so convicting that I made a friend read it so I didn't have to be convicted alone.

A Passion for the Impossible, by Miriam Hufman Rockness: This is a biography of Lilias Trotter, who headed off to Algeria with a friend in 1888 to be a missionary. They didn't know the language (although they did know French, which helped) and they didn't know anyone in the country. It's amazing how God worked through her and her willingness to go.

When the Darkness will not Lift, by John Piper: This is a short, quick read, but deep enough to make you think. He writes about dealing with depression as a Christian, possible causes, and how to support people who are walking in this darkness.

Those are the big ones, the ones that made an impact on me in a big way. I also read and enjoyed:
Fine China is For Single Women Too, by Lydia Brownback
Inheritance, by Christopher Paolini (the last of the Eragon books)
From the Christian Heroes Then and Now series: Betty Greene and Wilfred Grenfell
Unbroken, by Laura Hillenbrand (about Louis Zamperini)
12 Stories of Christmas, by Joe Wheeler (the type of stories that might make you cry)
To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
Why One Way? by John MacArthur
A Cup of Cold Water, by Christine Farenhorst (about Edith Cavell)
Hostage Lands, by Douglas Bond
The Betrayal, by Douglas Bond (a novel about John Calvin...I almost forgot about that one (I think it was this year))

There have been other books, but they were either for school, or not so good, or okay but not enough to recommend, or I've forgotten them!

My Very Small Girls

2011-12-29T14:10:00.004-07:00

I have the very small girls over right now. There are 5 of them: 2 4-year olds and 3 6-year olds. I've never had them over as a group before, but I've had all of their older siblings over (and some of them have come with other family members). Today I finally found time and energy to entertain a group of small, giggly girls.

Actually, they're very easy to entertain. They played with my toys and then we had a picnic of pizza and cookies and Sprite on the floor. I made them very happy by letting them paint Christmas ornaments just like the big girls (but with t-shirts to keep them clean and a lot more supervision), and they were very careful to be neat and did a fairly good job of it. We also coloured and we had princess Christmas crackers. Now they are watching Bolt and eating popcorn and sour keys.

The line of the day....
Me: They made the biggest mess ever!
Small child: No, the rapture is the biggest mess ever!

Why People Deny Creation

2011-12-28T19:29:00.003-07:00

These are my thoughts on why people deny creation; I may not have all the reasons and I may be speculating. The thing is, I've never doubted creation as it's laid out in Genesis 1-2. I think the Bible is amazingly clear: God made everything from nothing by speaking it all into being. I don't see how you can read the Bible, accepting it as God's inspired word, and deny creation.

Oh... and I'm talking about professing Christians here; nonchristians deny creation because they are in active rebellion against the Creator.

First: They haven't been taught properly. They've been around people and in churches that teach alternative views of Genesis 1-2, and they've simply accepted what they've been told. They have also likely never been taught to read the Bible and think about what it really says. Either they are expected to accept what they are taught, they think that the Bible may be too hard to understand, or they are lazy.

Side note: I know that I am extremely blessed to be in a church family where reading the Bible regularly and thinking critically and making sure the teachers/pastors are teaching/preaching truth and asking questions or raising concerns if what they say does not seem to match Scripture are all encouraged. I send my Sunday School students home with orders (usually ignored) to read certain passages to make sure what I am teaching is truth. It's a very, very important part of their learning because one day they will run into people who claim things as Biblical that are not in the Bible.

Okay, second reason: They want to gain the respect of the scientific community, maybe with the intention of "finding common ground" to "start a conversation" and preach the gospel, so they start to compromise (maybe a day isn't a day....) and then it all goes downhill from there. Guess what? A day is a day...and there is nothing in Genesis 1-2 to say otherwise. Besides that, compromising to win the approval of the world is wrong and will never, never, never cause anyone to listen to the gospel. Read Acts; they opposed all sorts of beliefs with no compromise and God saved people. Got that? Compromise does not save people; God saves people.

Finally: No creation = no Adam and Eve = no fall = no original sin = I'm a pretty good person, really, with just a few flaws. I don't think anyone would state that as a reason, but I think it's there. I think that denying creation leads to a better view of ourselves than we should have, and I think it might be a reason, however subconscious, for the willingness to deny what is so clearly stated in the Bible. This way, they can feel good about themselves, and believe that they aren't so bad, and brush off any guilt, and go through life believing that God loves them just the way they are and sin isn't a big deal. And Jesus died just to show us how much He loves us (not to save us from eternal wrath and punishment which we deserve and can do nothing about because we are dead in our trespasses and sins), and He loves everyone because we're all good people (except maybe Hitler and Stalin and the like). It's a nice story...too bad it isn't true. And believing it undermines the cross, makes Christ's sacrifice and God's justice a sham, calls God a liar, and leaves people feeling happy and guilt free on their way to hell.

People... creation matters. Truth matters. And denying what is clearly stated in the Bible won't change the truth.

The Joy of Christmas

2011-12-25T21:48:00.002-07:00

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
He was in the beginning with God.
All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being.
In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men.
The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.

And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.

For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.

John 1:1-5, 14, 16

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T11:06:00.002-07:00

Head on over to Pyromaniacs, watch this and have a lovely, lovely Christmas.

The Proverbs Book

2011-12-23T18:30:00.004-07:00

Actually, there are 2 Proverbs books: the book of Proverbs (you know...in the Bible...right after Psalms) and God's Wisdom in Proverbs by Dan Phillips. I'm guessing that my readers know my feelings about the Bible, so today I'm going to focus on God's Wisdom in Proverbs.

I've been reading Dan's blog, Biblical Christianity, for a long time, and was excited when he announced that he was having a book published. This is not about that book; his first book is The World-Tilting Gospel, and is on my pile of books to read. The Proverbs book is actually his second book, published not long after his first.

To sum it up: this is a great book. It's well written, it's well researched, it's interesting, and it's very thought provoking. In fact, I really can't write about all of it because I need to go back and read and think about a lot of it. Right now, though, I want to give you an overall picture of the book, with a slightly greater focus on certain bits.

First, Dan gives background information: how to understand Proverbs, who wrote Proverbs (he gets into that more in Appendix One), and what the different types of proverbs are. He makes it very clear that proverbs are not promises or formulae guaranteeing success if you just follow the right steps. He says that "Proverbs are wonderful at being what they are: proverbs. They are not failed prophecies or systematic theologies.... Proverbs both teaches wisdom, and requires wisdom for its correct interpretation and application.... A proverb is not a magical formula, bringing wisdom and blessing by incantation." (p. 21-23, emphasis in the original).

Having set the stage, he goes on to talk about the fear of Yahweh as the foundation of wisdom and how to gain wisdom. This is about where I was when I last mentioned the book (below, discussing hearing God). Dan is very clear that everything we need for wisdom comes from God and that He has told us everything we need to know in the Bible. It is there that we learn to know, trust, and worship Him.

There are three chapters on what Proverbs says about relationships with others as well. There is one on general relationships, including what makes a good friend and a bad friend; how to be a good friend; and who to avoid. The advice in Proverbs includes looking for loyalty, honesty (someone who will give proper criticism and not flattery) and avoiding the hot tempered and easily offended.

Then there is marriage. To be perfectly honest: I tend to be hesitant about marriage books and marriage chapters. They have a very bad habit of assuming that everyone will be married and that being single means that there is a problem with me that I need to fix. Or, they set up unrealistic expectations of marriage. Or, they talk about how to fix the problems in your marriage, mostly by reading the Bible more or communicating better or something (honestly, I tend to stop listening after a while). And it's always so easy: follow the 5 or 7 or however many steps and your marriage will be perfect. If it isn't, you didn't do the steps properly.

I am happy to say that Dan avoids all of this (Mr. Phillips, in case you ever read this, I apologize for ever doubting you). If you're married, go read the chapter yourself and see what you think. I'm giving you the single person's perspective: it's a very good chapter to read when thinking about marriage or dating. From it I learned what Proverbs says about what I should be looking for in a husband and what I should be as a wife. From it I learned how to avoid a lot of trouble up front by being careful about who I marry and by studying Proverbs (and the entire Bible) to be a godly woman and wife. In the event that I start thinking about marriage (hey, it could happen) I fully intend to look at the chapter again. In fact, as I read it I though about how great it would be if I could find a way to teach this to my high school girls who are just starting to think about boys. Actually, I should give it to their parents.

The next chapter is on parenting. Again, I have no experience, but I have spoken with parents and read some parenting books and done a lot of observing. Here's what I take from this chapter: if you a a good parent, a godly parent, who attempts to parent your children according to Biblical principles, disciplining faithfully and training them in God's word, and your children walk away from your teaching and lead rebellious lives....it's not your fault. There is no magic formula here either. There is also no guilt as long as you are doing your job. Appendix three talks about Proverbs 22:6, looking at it as a threat rather than a promise. This will upset everyone who wants it to be a promise that one day their children will follow God and will reduce the guilt of everyone who has rebellious children. Only once before have I heard it explained this way, and I still can't remember where. I am glad to have it all spelled out for me.

That's just about all I have for you. You really need to read this book for yourself. It gets pretty deep at times, and delves into the Hebrew words, but don't let that concern you. Dan is good at explaining the meanings of the words, the background, and the way they are used.

Finally, 3 other pluses of the book...

1. Footnotes. Sometimes they give references and other times they further explain things. The important thing is that they are not end notes (I once read a book with so many end notes that I had to keep a separate bookmark in them).

2. The bibliography. I like going through bibliographies, first to see if I know any of the books, but also because I may want to study more. In this case, the bibliography is extra good since for some of the items Dan has added notes on which ones are good, which ones are good for more advanced studies, and which ones are not as good. My personal favourite: "Museum-piece of unhinged liberalism." Which brings me to

3. The language. Dan has a wonderful grasp of the English language and uses it extremely well. I knew from years of reading his blog that he was a good wordsmith; I know from his book that he is a master wordsmith. From the first page of the preface: "Proverbs is a kaleidoscopic microcosm of the wisdom of God." It starts well, it keeps going well, it ends well.

And So We Survived the Christmas Concert

2011-12-18T21:53:00.002-07:00

And it went well. The grade 1-3 class was up first and they belted out Joy to the World, which was not only great to hear but set the tone for the rest of the evening! My kids did a great job with the nativity play and no one turned his or her back to the audience. They were very proud of themselves. The junior/senior high did a good job with readings from the prophets and then the fulfillments in Christ's birth; one girl jumped the gun a couple times which threw another girl a bit, but it still flowed really well and we could hear the promises that were fulfilled just with Christ's birth (and at that not all of them). The special music was really, really good as well. In the end, we had candles (real candles instead of battery operated ones) and sang Silent Night and it was properly Christmasy.

And now we are done for another year. We already have big plans for next year's concert, but for now we will rest!

And for a touch of class for a change....

Bits and Pieces

2011-12-16T18:02:00.002-07:00

It's been somewhat busy at work, with teachers off sick and writing exams, and kids having to change their schedules, and me getting to cope with everything. It's not terribly busy, just the usual December issues. One more week, though, and we're closed for Christmas (well, I have to work one day between Christmas and New Year's, but otherwise we close that week).

I'm pretty much ready for Christmas. The tree is up and decorated (last year it only got the lights) and Christmas parcels have been sent and received. There are presents hiding in my laundry room so I don't give in and open some before Christmas! Some of them I'm fairly certain about and others have me very, very curious. There are Christmas cookies in my freezer and the kids came over for our annual cookie decorating. I've been assigned a veggie platter and pickles as my Christmas dinner contribution, so that's nice and easy! One more week....

Even though I'm not doing school right now, I'm still incredibly busy. Most of all, I want to rest so I'm ready to start again in March. I'm hoping January is nice and quiet and peaceful so I can rest and maybe catch up on all the things I wanted to do this winter!

Today was pretty quiet and I didn't do much beyond laundry and a bit of cooking and a lot of reading and a nap. I'm still tired, but I feel better than I have most of this week. It just seems that when things start relaxing and going well, someone has to step in a make life complicated again and I just want it to stop! Still, just one more week to Christmas break. At least then work will stop interfering.

Overall....life is good. There are rough days and easy days and in the end....life is good.

A Quick Book Review

2011-12-09T17:13:00.002-07:00

I was doing a quick blurb for the book recommendation section of the women's ministries bulletin board and I though I'd share it with you. I really enjoyed the book (and found it rather convicting).

Uneclipsing the Son by Rick Holland

“Jesus, the Son of God, has been eclipsed, and we’ve made ourselves at home in this new normal.”

Rick Holland has seen a problem in the church: we have allowed many, many things to come between us and Christ. We do not desire Christ as we should, being content with shadows and a good life rather than the abundant life that God promises.

Holland does not stop with diagnosing the problem; he offers the cure as well. We must put aside all idols and focus on Jesus instead. Holland takes us through Scripture to see the place Christ must have in our lives, in our worship, and in our churches. And he brings encouragement: we can walk in the full light of the Son.

Bonus 2nd Post (a video counts as a post, right?)

2011-12-04T22:36:00.002-07:00

This one made me laugh...enjoy!

Christmas Concert Update

2011-12-04T22:16:00.004-07:00

It's all coming together...I know what everyone is doing and just need to confirm one group and it's all ready to go. Well, sort of ready! I was teaching Sunday School and it seems that some of the children in one of the Sunday School classes don't know what they're singing; it seems that rehearsals haven't started yet in that class!

In my class we had our second rehearsal and our first with the small children. I may need to find a way to inform a mom that her son just isn't ready to be in the concert and maybe next year. He doesn't want to be in it but she wants him to participate. The rest of the little guys did well, except the one new little guy who refused to join us, but that's fine; I don't want to push them. The angels mostly know their lines and are working on being happy when they speak; the shepherds are only looking a bit afraid and not like they're going to die of fright; the chief angel looks less afraid of the shepherds; and the narrator is learning to speak slowly the whole time.

The big kids seem more aware of what they're doing (last week they were handed a script and I don't think any of them read the whole thing). They had to rearrange some parts since their teacher (bless his heart) didn't stop to think and some students may not be around the day of the concert and made sure everyone had a part. I've been assured (by a wonderful friend who has taken over training them) that once they learn to speak slowly they'll do fine. We're bribing them to memorize their parts by next week!

It will be a good concert. I need to remember what I've been telling the kids: it's for God's glory, not ours, and our goal needs to be to bring Him glory by spreading the good news of Jesus to our audience.

And now, some classic Christmas music for your enjoyment...

Yesterday

2011-11-30T20:33:00.002-07:00

It's been a rough month, both in and out of work. By yesterday I was ready to throw in the towel; nothing seemed to be going right and I had pretty much decided that I couldn't do anything right anyway.

Then....friends stopped by work with their baby boy and 2 year old daughter. I had a lovely bit of time playing with the little girl, who sat happily on my knee and looked at everything in my office. Whatever I gave her she declared to be "nice" and smiled. They actually came for more than to let me play with my girl for a little while; they came to thank me for being a good tenant and to bring me a Chapters gift card.

So....I admired the baby, played with the sweet girl, and heard that I am doing something right...and now I get to buy books.

It made everything a little bit better.

Christmas Concert

2011-11-27T20:28:00.004-07:00

Christmas is coming, and with it the Christmas concert. This year I'm in charge, and it's going fairly well. Each class is doing their own thing (except the small ones are joining my class since there aren't many of them). There will also be some special music from some of the children.

That special music...that was almost my downfall. I asked the music person for help; she delegated it to someone else, and that is where the trouble started. The someone else first had an idea that she wanted to do with the whole Sunday School, so I had to explain that each class already had a plan. I told her I had just been asking about special music, and when we parted we agreed that I would let her know when we needed her help with the singing (because my class generally needs help; I can't sing). Then today I learned that she had spoken to a mom about having her son play piano for the Christmas Concert...but hadn't told me. In fact, she had a list of people to talk to because the other music person asked her to find people, but no one thought to ask me how many people we actually needed. I stopped her before she could ask anyone else and we've settled on three pieces of special music, and someone suggested that other people could do music during the offertory in December.

A note to my readers: if you're asked to help, remember that you're helping, not in charge, and that the person in charge needs to know what's going on. This same person spoke with me about doing music with Junior Church, and when I said she should talk to the teachers and that we would talk on Sunday, evidently took that to mean, "Go ahead and do it." We had another conversation about talking to the teachers first to find out if they want help with music, and also not taking time away from the teaching.

Okay, back to the Christmas Concert: My class had our first rehearsal today. I really need to teach the shepherds to look frightened without over-acting. They like over-acting, but need to remember that it's not about them. In fact, I finally sent one shepherd back to sit down because he wouldn't behave. Next week we'll have the little guys with us, so that should make it even more fun!

I think I have everything all arranged. I have someone else in charge of the Junior/Senior High class. They are doing a reading (well, actually they're all memorizing their verses) that goes back and forth from prophecies about Christ's birth to the fulfillment. Their teacher is great, but he admitted that he needs help getting it set up properly. I wrote the original script and know how it was supposed to work, and I talked it over with a friend who has agreed to get them trained (I believe she plans to use a combination of threats and bribery). The other class will be fine, and the kids doing the special music are all well trained.

I am not going to worry about it....really!

Here, to prepare you for Christmas, on of my favourites.

Inheritance

2011-11-26T18:58:00.004-07:00

I just finished the final book in Christopher Paolini's Inheritance Cycle. I enjoyed all 4 books and I liked the way the story flowed through them. I also liked how things worked out for each of the characters. I think Paolini is a very good author and I would recommend his books to anyone who enjoys fantasy.

I had some issues, though, with the final book that I did not have with the others. Because of the 3-year gap between the final 2 books, I re-read the first three a couple months ago to refresh my mind about what had gone on before. This turned out to be a very good thing, because there was a lot I had forgotten! It also heightened a few issues with the final book.

SPOILER ALERT!

If you intend to read the book, stop reading here. I'm going to tell you about the end.

Okay, you've been warned!
First, I think the book was too long. It isn't that it was longer than the others; I don't mind a long book if the length is necessary. In this case, Paolini could have told the story just as well in a shorter book. I think he knew that this would be the last book and wanted to tell and describe everything. A lot of the discussion (especially every time Galbatorix spoke) was to drawn out and slowed the action too much. On the other hand, a lot of the action was also too drawn out, especially the fight scenes. There did not need to be as much detail. The final battle especially could have been told in less detail and been just as (or possibly more) effective.

Much of the discussion in the book, again especially with Galbatorix, seemed to be an opportunity for Paolini to voice his world view. In general, books reflect the world view of the author; that's perfectly natural, and is usually somewhat subtle. Paolini, however, seems sometimes to be determined to spell it out for his readers and make sure they get what he believes, and perhaps see how reasonable it is.

I also determined, part way through the book, that none of the characters closely connected to Eragon would die. This took away some from the scene with Nasuada in Galbatorix's torture chamber because I knew that she wouldn't die and she wouldn't give in, so there was no concern. I also knew that Roran, Katrina, Ayra, Angela, and Orik would be safe. There were a couple important characters who did die in the series (various important leaders), but they were not so closely connected to Eragon (there was always a barrier between them), and their deaths were important to allow other people to take their places. My guess is that Paolini liked his characters too much to be able to kill them off.

Finally, the ending was also too long. They won on page 719, but the book went on for another 130 pages of wrapping things up. There were chapters that could have been summed up in a paragraph or two without losing anything important. Again, though, I think Paolini wanted to tell everything that happened in detail because the series was ending and he had all sorts of ideas about what was happening and should happen.

END SPOILERS

And yet....I enjoyed the book. I like how the characters interacted and the futures that they received. There were no plot issues and I did not feel disappointed at the end.

So...if you like fantasy and dragons and good stories, by all means read the Inheritance Cycle.

Thankful

2011-11-23T19:01:00.003-07:00

I've been emotionally messed lately and somewhat grumpy, so to remedy it (and in honour of American Thanksgiving this weekend), here's what I'm thankful for.

1. I have the final Eragon book. I haven't read much yet, but I plan to read a lot on Friday. I'm torn between wanting to make it last (since it's really the last one) and wanting to find out how it ends. I had it delivered to work (I'm not home when UPS comes) and was reading it while my student was doing math last night. We were laughing about the description on the front flap; near the end it asks, "But will they topple the evil king and restore justice to Alagaesia?" Um...yeah...probably, or the whole series becomes a giant disappointment, and the author will have to get into witness protection or some such thing.

2. On Monday my new pants arrived in the mail (because I don't like shopping; I like clicking buttons and having things shipped straight to me). They fit beautifully and don't have to be hemmed....and they're a size smaller than I had originally thought I needed.

3. Christmas is coming and my mum assures me that there will soon be a box of presents heading my way!

4. God is incredibly patient with me, even when I let emotions rule for a while before I remember to turn to Him.

5. No matter what happens, God is in control and I can turn to Him.

6. I have an amazing church family.

7. Chocolate, in many, many forms.

8. Tomorrow is Thursday. Thursday evenings are my happy times. First, I get to have supper with a friend and her family and can be part of a family for a while. Then it's Bible study time and I love my Bible study group; plus, we're studying Romans and I love Romans.

9, I got free samples in the mail yesterday: 2 teabags, one for dark chocolate chai tea and one for vanilla bean chai tea.

10. Last night I watched Fiddler on the Roof. I'm thankful for a TV, and a DVD player, and musicals.

Hearing God

2011-11-21T20:28:00.003-07:00

I've been reading God's Wisdom in Proverbs by Dan Phillips. When I finish it, I plan to write a proper review, but this is not a fast and easy read; it requires time to stop and think and ponder. Anyway, here's where my thoughts were with it today.

People often say "God told me" and "I heard a small voice" and such to explain a decision. You see them on TV a lot, too, talking about new messages that God gave them, and sometimes encouraging us to listen for God's special messages to us as well. It worried me some because I never hear God telling me what to do. I usually make decisions based on gathering information, praying, talking to people who are wiser than I, and then doing what makes the most sense. No "still, small voice" and no "it just felt right." (In fact, I tend to worry about all the big decisions so I never feel an immense sense of peace. If I waited for that, I'd never do anything.)

Further, all the "prophets" people have told me about have turned out to have prophesied falsely at least once, so I'm not ready to trust them. I've never felt the need for new prophesies and small voices in my head and the like, but there are people who make me feel like I'm missing some new truth when I won't listen to this or that "prophet" (who prophesies on a schedule, incidentally, which seems rather forced to me) and that I would understand God so much better (as an aside: not the people at my church, who seem to see things the way I do in this area).

Which brings me to the Proverbs book. Dan Phillips was talking about fear of the Lord, and how we need to learn about God to fear Him, and that this revelation comes through the Bible and always has. Back in Deuteronomy17:18-19, the future kings of Israel are told to copy out and study and know the Law, and that way learn to fear the Lord.

Listen to what Dan says: "Even though he lived in the day of ongoing revelation, with prophets hearing words straight from God's mouth, the king was not directed to focus on them. He was not told to have daily coffee with a prophet, asking for the latest scoop from Heaven. No, he was directed to the written word that he (and all Israel) already possessed." (p.74)

Did you get that? Back in the days when there was on-going revelation, people were still told to turn to Scripture that was already given to know God. And we have the entire Bible now, much more than they had.

We don't need feelings or small voices or new prophetic utterances. We only need the Bible: that is how God speaks to us.

Draw a Stickman

2011-11-16T22:06:00.002-07:00

This one comes from my dad (he posted it on Facebook).

Draw a stickman and have some fun.

Winter

2011-11-14T20:11:00.002-07:00

Winter seems to have struck Edmonton full force today. There was a bit of snow over the weekend, but not much. Today, though, it's snowing a lot. It was really pretty, walking home in the dark with the snow falling gently. Come February I'll probably be saying nasty things about the snow, but right now I don't mind it.

Plus, today I got off work a bit earlier than expected and now I'm at home enjoying tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. It's the ultimate in comfort food and perfect for the start of winter.

Making into Laws the Traditions of Men

2011-11-09T20:22:00.003-07:00

Pastor James was preaching from Mark 7 on Sunday, about the Pharisees making the traditions into laws, even overriding the actual Law. He spoke about how we can do that too: we apply Scripture to our lives and then expect that everyone else will apply it the same way and become upset or self-righteous or just annoying when they don't.

It's like this: we need to have convictions, to be fully convinced in our own minds about things (Romans talks about eating certain foods; Pastor James also used home schooling as an example) and act on our convictions.

BUT these convictions aren't spelled out in Scripture; they're simply how we apply Scripture. And what is spelled out is how we are to act: love others, humility, fellowship, etc. So if our convictions, or really the way we act concerning them, counteract the stuff that Scripture clearly commands, then we have a problem and we're making our traditions and convictions into laws.

I've been thinking about this. It's really, really easy for me to see other people do this. They're the ones who are proud of leaving facebook and giving up blogging to spend more time with God and having real fellowship with people and you can hear how much more spiritual they are now. Or they get up at 5 to spend 2 hours with God and how can you get through your day without doing that. Or...you can insert your own here. You follow, yes?

So that's them, but what about me? Where do I start to feel superior to others because of my convictions? How do I want to make traditions into laws? I don't know for sure, but it is something to think about.

Bits and Pieces

2011-11-06T18:16:00.002-07:00

The essays are done and were handed in on time. I think they were okay; at least I liked them and so did my friend who edits them for me. All I really care about right now is that they're done and I can stop now. I've been doing school for almost 4 years with only a week off here and there and I am so ready for a break. I've decided to take the winter off and leave the rest of the independent study classes for now. I'll start school again in March.

It sounds easy, this business of getting a master's degree slowly and through correspondence, but I know three people who have had to stop, at least for a time, because of time constraints. This last year almost did me in, and left me totally tired out, and I don't have a family to care for as some of my classmates do.

I had the first sleepover Friday night. It was for my class, so they were younger girls (grades 3-6), and only 4 of them were able to attend. They're a pretty low key group and not much trouble, although they get very giggly as it gets late! This weekend I will have the junior/senior high girls. It's sort of turning into a youth group activity (Friday is officially a "split youth session" for the group, and I understand the male leaders have plans for the boys). The good news is that the youth group leaders will be here so I won't be the only adult. On the other hand, there are at least 10 people planning to attend, and I have a small apartment! Well, we'll all squeeze in somehow.

Work is beginning to settle down into a regular schedule which means I can settle into a regular schedule. There's still a lot going on, but I'll get to rest as well and catch up on stuff.

Blah

2011-10-30T17:44:00.004-06:00

I'm ready to pack it in, essay-wise. I'm tired and I have no idea what to write. In fact, I'm wondering if honesty is the best policy: I don't know why Matthew leaves out a statement that Luke and Mark include! I bet I'd still get an okay mark if I admitted that.

Anyway...instead of working I'm watching YouTube and hoping inspiration will strike. Probably not, but until it does, I'll leave you with something to watch as well.

Well, I don't know about you, but I feel better now!

10 Things Married People Miss

2011-10-27T22:12:00.003-06:00

I read an article about 10 things married people miss about being single. Here's my take on them, from the perspective of a single person.

1. Spontaneity. Absolutely. It is much easier for me to just do stuff, even little stuff like running errands, than it is for married people and especially if those who are married with children.

2. A good night's rest. Again, there is something to be said for not sharing the bed, and for not having children wake me up in the night.

3. Being selfish. Okay, here's where things are different. I get that it's fun to be selfish, but it's something I actually fight as a single person. I need to keep myself involved in the lives of others to avoid selfishness. Unlike the writer of the article, I don't think it's a good thing (but I agree that we all tend to lean that way).

4. Traveling solo. Yes. Although that may be just me; I know single people who want traveling companions.

5. The chase. Really? If it's just the admiration of men that you want, you'll still get it (assuming that you got it when you were single), so your need for affirmation is fulfilled. If it's the choice you miss... maybe you should be happy with your choice. At the very least, remember what it was really like: generally the ones who chase are not the ones you want to chase you. Trust me on this one.

6. Not checking in. There is something to be said for being able to change my plans last minute or stay out longer than I had planned (some of that comes under point 1). On the other hand, there is some bit of loneliness that comes from knowing that if I get home late -- or not at all -- no one will notice.

7. Random hook-ups. I have no experience with this one, nor do I ever plan to.

8. Shameless flirting. Yeah, like married people never indulge in this. The difference is that they shouldn't, and if they do, it shouldn't lead anywhere.

9. Not sharing the remote. I do like that I can watch what I want, when I want (well, movies and TV on-line, but the idea is the same).

10. Meeting new people. Do married people not do this? Really? Actually, I'm not big on meeting new people. I'd really like a way to go from strangers to friends (or at least acquaintances) without having the stress of meeting people, trying to remember names, and deciding if I really want to know this person.

So here's what I take from this: married people miss being selfish, being spontaneous, and other relationships (which often seem to link back to points 1 and 3). Interesting. As a single person, I will concede points 1, 2, 4, and 9 as being good things. Point 3 I try to fight. For points 5, 7, and 8, I have to say as I don't have enough experience (um, which means that even if you were single, you might not either; even if you did, it may not last). Point 6 has both pros and cons.

There: 4 good reasons to remain single. That's enough for me!

Almost Done

2011-10-22T19:14:00.003-06:00

I have one major paper and one small paper to write. They're due in 10 days. Then the semester is over and I'm done until March.

I've started the major paper and fully intend to write the small one in a day (or a couple hours, depending on how things go). I'm still feeling very unmotivated to actually write. Which is probably why I went to Calgary with friends yesterday instead of working on the paper. The official reason is that there is a used Christian bookstore in Calgary that's closing down and all their books are half price. We picked up 22 books for the church library for $50. We also got a few books for ourselves. And I actually did some work on the drive down (not so much on the drive back because it was dark) and have a very detailed outline of the first 3 sections of the major paper (including notes for which source to use when). I suppose it will get done on time...somehow.

In more amusing news: I have a new cell phone and it has a voicemail-to-text feature. It doesn't always get the voicemail right though.

What my friend said: I feel touched to have such lovely ladies talking to me (or something like that).

What was transcribed: I touch a lovely lady.

Church Notes

2011-10-16T18:32:00.002-06:00

Today's sermon was about the sending of the 12 and the death of John the Baptist (Mark 6:6-30: John's death comes between the 12 going and then coming back).

My small elf draws pictures of the sermon passage. Today she had John in jail off to the side. Then there was a line down the page to indicate the next scene in the story. I'm going to do my best to describe the scene for you.

At the top of the page was a banner. Then there were 2 people sitting on chairs at a table holding forks and knives with plates of salad in front of them. They were happy and enjoying their food. There were balloons all around the page. At the bottom of the page was a similar scene with a slight difference: under the table a balloon had popped which startled one person at the table; the person jumped and hit the table, causing his salad to fly off the table into his face. These people looked startled.

Got that? It's a happy, banquet scene for Herod's birthday. And right in the middle of the picture, with a table of happy people above and startled people below, were two people with a platter between them. And on the platter was John the Baptist's head. These were also happy people, except John, who was definitely not happy!

And on that note....

The line that struck me most was "all that borrows life from Thee." Think about it; if I have time, I'll write some of my thoughts later this week.

Kids and Personal Space

2011-10-14T10:42:00.004-06:00

Most kids have no understanding of personal space. I have a girl at work who is always right in my face. Yesterday...

Me (moving back and extending my arms enough that she can't come forward): Personal space! This is my space!

She always laughs and complies when I outline my personal space...until the next time! But this time there was a third voice.

Younger girl: That's right, everyone has a bubble and her bubble is bigger than yours. My bubble popped!

At least now I understand why they have no thought for personal space!

Disobedience and Blessings

2011-10-11T18:56:00.003-06:00

I know, all the time, that I don't deserve God's love and forgiveness and blessings. Sometimes, though, it seems extra clear that what I deserve has nothing to do with what I get.

Today....was a very bad day (or at least a bad morning). In fact, it's been a rough week or so. I'm so busy with work and school and stuff and I've been overwhelmed and overloaded. And, in the midst of it all, I've been pushing aside prayer and time spent in the Word (yes, while I've been writing a paper on the epistles of John....go figure). And, eventually, it affected my attitude hugely.

So today was not a day to be proud of. And then, at the end of it, He handed me a little, unexpected break and blessing. And it was enough to stop me in my tracks and lead me to repentance.

I makes me wonder, too. Here I was ignoring God and walking straight into a sinful attitude, and He very gently and kindly reminded me that He is here and He loves me no matter what and nudged me back where I belonged. There have been other times, though, when He's pulled out the big guns and knocked me back in line and it was very painful. I wonder, though, if He tried gentleness then too and I ignored Him, or took the blessings for granted.

I think that I need to pay attention to all of God's blessings and to always remember that I don't deserve them, and be thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-10-09T20:38:00.000-06:00

Unbelief

2011-10-09T20:18:00.002-06:00

Today Pastor James preached from Mark 6:1-6, on the wonder of unbelief. He said some things that resonated with me; I've seen them over and over when I've been speaking with people. Here are my notes:

Unbelief makes anything but the truth more believable than the truth, no matter how unbelievable it is.

Unbelief is a state; it is not an intellectual problem but a spiritual problem; it is a problem of inability apart from divine intervention.

Unbelief fails to recognize the obvious, gets entangled in the inconsequential, and takes offence at the messenger.

Here are my thoughts:

He's absolutely right. I have spoken with enough people who will believe the oddest things but will not believe the Bible. Moreover, nothing will change their minds. And as Pastor James said, the people around Jesus saw miracles, knew that what Jesus was doing was amazing and had never been done before...and still rejected Him. If proof was all people really needed, there would have been no unbelievers in Israel when Christ was alive.

Beyond that, I have had enough people argue irrelevant points when I speak with them about God. They get stuck on things that Christians (and professed Christians who likely were not really Christians) have done in the past and refuse to care about what Christ has done.

But Pastor James didn't leave us there. He pointed us to John 6:65 and reminded us that unbelief can be overcome through God.

Lyrics

2011-10-07T17:15:00.001-06:00

I was listening to "Clayton Erb: Unceasing Worship." Clayton Erb is the music minister (or some such title) at Grace Community Church in California (John MacArthur's church, the one I attend when I go down for school) and the CD is from his 30th anniversary in that role (and it was free). On of the hymns is "It Is Well..." and listening to it (and singing it) always makes me smile. There's a line "My sin, o the bliss of this glorious thought,...." When I was very young, I didn't understand the use of dashes and commas and could not understand why we were singing about being happy about sin!

The full lyrics, though, are:

My sin -- O, the bliss of this glorious thought,
My sin -- not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

I also have trouble not giggling whenever we sing the fifth line of the second verse of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen."

In Bethlehem, in Israel,
This blessed Babe was born
And laid within a manger
Upon this blessed morn
The which His Mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy.

I know it's "which" and not "witch" but I still think it sounds like you're calling Mary a witch. I used to think I was the only one until one Christmas. I was standing with some friends in church, singing the hymn, and when we came to that line I made the mistake of catching someone's eye. We started the fight against giggles which spread to the rest of our little group.

I know these are great hymns of the faith (well, the first one is anyway) and I don't want to detract from that. I just find certain lines very funny, and I wonder why no one else laughs. Either everyone else is more mature than I (possible, but not probable; not everyone I know is that mature) or they are also trying not to laugh (more likely in some cases, which is why I don't look at anyone at these lines) or they don't see/hear things the same way I do (rather likely, in my experience) or they don't think about what they are singing (and in some cases, I think that's very likely).

Church Notes

2011-10-02T14:53:00.002-06:00

Today I started teaching my class about the Reformation. We are going to take one Sunday a month to learn about different characters and events of the Reformation. Today we talked about some of the problems with the Roman Catholic church by the 1100s: they only wanted the Bible in Latin so the common people couldn't read it, they preached about purgatory and penance, and they equated the teachings of the church with the Bible. We also learned about Peter Waldo, one of the pre-reformation characters, who lived in France in the 1100s (we won't actually get to the actual Reformation until December). I think it's important for the children to start learning some church history now so they know not only the truth but what people are willing to sacrifice for the truth and so that they could all have nice English Bibles (and that they should know their Bibles).

In the lesson we learned that at one time 35 of Peter Waldo's followers were burned in one fire by the Church. To which one student replied, "Well, at least they weren't tarred and feathered." I guess....

Today's hymn is one from my childhood, a version of the 23rd Psalm.

One Way God Works

2011-09-29T19:39:00.000-06:00

God turns around individual situations to change the world. He works in the lives of individuals, bringing them change and life and joy, as part of His master plan.

For an example, we can turn to Luke and see how God worked in one individual life as part of His great plan. He turned around Elizabeth’s life by removing her barrenness, bringing her joy. It was bigger that that, though: while He brought her joy, He brought the world the forerunner to Jesus.

It's amazing to see how God is in the details, and how He uses all the bits to make an amazing whole. It's equally amazing how His plan is not just to do great, overarching deeds that change the world, but to intervene in people's lives, bringing them good, and changing the whole world at the same time.

Elizabeth gets a baby, great joy, and the removal of the stigma of barrenness. At the same time, the world gets John the Baptist.

A Conversation

2011-09-27T20:52:00.000-06:00

I don't know if she spoke directly from a script, lacks listening comprehension, or thought I was lying, but here is a phone conversation I had with some lady today.

Her: I'd like to speak with the person in charge of ordering office supplies, please.

Me: We don't do that here; it's all done through our main office.

Her: Okay. My name is (name) and I'm calling from (place that does surveys about office supplies) and we'd like to include you in our survey. Are you the one responsible for purchasing office supplies?

Me: We don't do that here. It's all done through our main office.

Her: Is there someone I can speak to?

Me: No; we don't purchase our own office supplies.

Her: Okay, bye. (Click goes the phone).

So you be the judge: script, stupid, or skeptic?

An Update

2011-09-25T18:14:00.003-06:00

Well, for a while I was good about writing regularly! I'm still going to try, but I'm really busy right now. I'm a bit short staffed at work; I was able to hire, but she can't start training for another week. It's made for some long days. I also have papers to research and write. I'm getting some research done, but it's been slow. I did arrange to take next Friday off so I'd have 2 days free to do school. In preparation, my freezer is full of meals (frozen in individual portions) as well as baking; I also prepared the next two month's worth of Junior Church lessons. Most of everything that needs to be done has been done and I'm free to write essays.

We have software for the church library now. One of the men has been looking at different programs and finally found one that meets our needs. This afternoon the other librarian and I, with the help of a barcode scanner, entered all the books into the system (except the 15 that are currently checked out and the 3 without ISBN numbers that we also couldn't find in the system). We now have 450 books as well as a selection of DVDs. We also have a sign so people can find us. Today, for the first time, we had a line up to check books out. Granted, the line up was 3 people, and they made up 60% of the total patrons who came by today! Still, that makes for a busy Sunday in our library!

The small elf who sits with me on Sundays was trying to write down something from the sermon. We were learning about Jesus healing the demoniac, sending the demons into the pigs. My small elf finally wrote that the man was "controlled by Satin." I managed to not laugh and then corrected her spelling.

My Sunday School class is going well. Most of them even learned their memory verse this week, which starts things off nicely.

That's about all I have for now. I'll try to write a little more often this week. For now, I leave you with this....

"But God...": A Rather Short Book Review

2011-09-13T20:35:00.004-06:00

I like the word "but" in the Bible; I think it often introduces important, encouraging, "from despair to hope" moments. It often reads: "Everything is bad. Very, very, very bad. We are all going to die. But God....changes everything."

Casey Lute (who was in some of my classes at Masters) has written a book about this very concept. "But God..." The Two Words at the Heart of the Gospel shows how God changes darkness to light and despair to hope.

Casey looks first at the flood and the formation of the nation of Israel; second at the coming, death and resurrection of Christ; and finally at God's election, salvation, and perseverance of His people. Through it all he shows us from Scripture that without God's direct intervention in our lives, we have no hope. With God,though, we have life and hope everlasting.

The book is well-written, interesting, and (for my non-readers) not very long! It can be ordered through Cruciform Press. I enjoyed it and I'm sure you will....so go buy it and read it!

Church Notes

2011-09-11T14:53:00.002-06:00

Today we started Sunday School again. I have a good-sized class, around 12 grade 4-6 students (actually, 2 of them are in grade 3; we moved them up to make the grade 1-3 class smaller since they acquired 8 grade 1 students this year). I really enjoy teaching my class; they're fun and funny and smart. I did tell the new students that since this week was review from last year that they didn't need to be smart until next week.

We have more and more books in the library every week. One of the men at the church has a Christian book store and any "defective" books that are written off and not sold make their way to us now! It's nice, because most of the defects are small: a ripped cover, pages not cut properly (which only required a trim to fix them), or things I don't even notice. Plus, one of my friends new where to get me a copy of Journey Through the Night (the publishers live and sell their books in the farming community where her parents live) so I'm very happy. It's been years since I've read it and it was one of my favourites.

We had a sandwich lunch and baby shower right after church. I like that all baby and wedding showers are done with the entire church so we can all celebrate. Actually, I was off in the library checking out items for someone and talking with some of the young people during the formal part of the baby shower!

In all, it was a good Sunday. I love my church family and I thank God for them often.

We sang this when I was at church in California this summer and I really liked it...

And I'm Back

2011-09-07T19:31:00.002-06:00

Vacation was wonderful. I'd recommend that everyone try it: leave everyone behind and go somewhere else. I walked, I read, I slept, I ate, I walked more, I went to bookstores, I visited a museum, a castle, a wharf, and a Chinatown....

Now I'm relaxed and de-stressed and happy. Even work today didn't raise my stress levels noticeably. Plus, I'm sleeping better again, which is undoubtedly why I'm less stressed and happier.

And now....back to my regularly scheduled life!

Vacation

2011-08-31T21:24:00.002-06:00

Tomorrow at 3:00 I'm leaving work and heading off on vacation. I'll be back in Edmonton next Tuesday at 5:01. Until then, I will be unreachable: I'm turning off the phone and avoiding computers. If you need me for anything.....I'm sending my contact information to 2 people. If you can find them, you can reach me.

I'm tired. The summer has been very long and I'm tired all the time now. I need time to rest. I also need time to deal with some personal stuff, time to think properly without any distractions or stuff that needs my attention.

Have a lovely weekend.

Church Notes

2011-08-28T21:22:00.002-06:00

I got everything all set for Junior Church today. We have 5 teachers now, plus assorted helpers (in fact, we have a back-up helper, which is nice). This means that they teach for 2 months between now and June (one month at a time). Summer is always a bit complicated, but if everyone takes a week I can cover the rest. It's usually the only time I teach now unless there's an emergency. Mostly, my teachers trade off among themselves. This year, though, I plan to be in Junior Church a bit more just observing. I figure I should know what's going on, and I haven't actually seen some of them teach. Plus, I have a couple younger teacher who still need some guidance.

Sunday School is good to go as well. We start in 2 weeks. I have all the books for the classes and there are teachers and a spare teacher. For my class, we're following the regular curriculum for the most part, which means we teach the lesson one week and do review and workbooks the next week. We're continuing our study on the providence of God. I have it set up with my new helper that I'll do the lesson weeks and she will do the workbook weeks. That way she gets to start teaching with less stress. It's sort of a training period for her. This year, though, I'm adding something. One Sunday a month I'm leaving the regular stuff to do a lesson on what I'm calling "Reformation Heroes" (so named after a book I have teaching about them). We'll learn about Wycliffe, Tyndale, Luther, Calvin, etc. I think the children need to know some church history. After them, maybe next year, I'm going to start on missionaries: William Carey, Hudson Taylor, whoever I think of.

That's the news from church! I leave you with one of my favourite hymns....

On Being a Grown Up

2011-08-27T20:22:00.003-06:00

Well, it had to happen eventually.

Last Sunday at the end of the service we were singing a hymn, one that is slower, more contemplative....usually. In fact, it started off that way, and then suddenly the drums picked up and it all sped up and it was different, and it struck me as not quite right. Actually, it jarred me enough that it was difficult to focus on the words. I realized then that I might not be part of the younger generation anymore. (For the record: I don't entirely object to the drums, although I might if we had them every week and during every hymn. It is the idea that they belong in every song, and that they can make contemplation and focus on the words difficult.)

Then one day I was listening to Great Big Sea and they got to Consequence Free, and I thought, how incredibly immature and stupid. I want to live like what I do does, in fact, matter. Furthermore, the only reason to live consequence free is to give in to whatever desires you have with no thought for the future. And yet there might have been a time that I agreed with them.

Today I went to the elder's house to write an exam. Afterwards, we were talking about school and such, and about the younger generation and their lives. They are the ones who tend to continue in school longer than the rest of us did. They travel more than most of us have (although some of my generation traveled a lot as well, but I think fewer of us and for a shorter period of time). They work overseas a lot, often using work as a way to fund their travels: work to make some money, then travel and play, then work wherever they happen to be. They don't settle down as soon. And it's not necessarily a bad thing; it's just different.

And I.... I am settled down. Although sometimes I would like to travel more and work overseas and see stuff, I think settling down is a good thing. I have a full time job and responsibilities both at work and at church. I might be one of the least settled of all my friends, being single and childless with the freedom that brings, and yet I feel settled, at least for this time in my life. I could pull up stakes and travel, but I feel some responsibility to the church and to the children there, who are my ministry. It surprised me when I realized that because I had always though that being single meant that if I wanted to move on I could; now I know that it won't be that easy.

It just finally struck me that I'm not part of the younger generation. I know they're younger in many ways; I hire and train and work with them, so I should have seen it sooner. I think that I spend enough time with older people and married people that I felt younger and not as settled. Today, though, the elder referred to us as being in the same stage of life; we're the older ones and they are the younger generation. The thing is....he's around fifty, so if we're in the same grouping then I must be a grown up. And of course I have been for many years. It's just that I still don't feel old enough to be one of them, and certainly not mature enough!

There are times when I'm sitting in my office running the centre or I'm explaining things to parents and they assure me that I'm the expert or I'm telling my teachers what I expect of them and expecting them to comply... and all the while I'm wondering how I became the boss anyway. It happens in church too, when I give the teenagers a command and they obey or the parents ask me for advice on homeschooling and I know the answers or I realize that I'm training the next generation of teachers... and I realize how much I don't know and how young I feel.

Sometimes I want to go back. The responsibility scares me: what if I mess up? We all know it's going to happen. But of course there's no going back short of walking away from everyone and everything and drifting from place to place, and I can't do that. I belong here.

Maybe it has nothing to do with age or feeling. Maybe it's all about taking responsibility for myself and my actions, and about understanding that there's more to like than what I want. Maybe it's about realizing the benefits of settling down and being involved in the lives of others and doing for others.

I don't know. All I know is that all the evidence adds up to one thing: I'm a grown up and no longer part of the younger generation. I just wish I knew when it happened.

Another Summer Survived

2011-08-26T17:29:00.003-06:00

Yes, I know that summer isn't actually over yet, but summer at Sylvan is done. Next week (usually Thursday) the students out here start school so on Monday we start fall hours again. This means no students during the day, just peace and quiet. It means that I'll be able to catch up on paperwork and all the little things I'd like to do (some organizing and tidying and such) that never get done in the summer. For the last couple weeks I've been short staffed and teaching a lot, so not much else has been done. Plus, I've been going home late and very tired. Next week, though, will be quieter. I'm not teaching in the evenings, and I plan to catch up on stuff and take life a bit easier (and maybe even go in late a morning or two). I figure it will help to make up for the insane hours of the last couple weeks (well, all summer really, but the last couple weeks seem the longest).

Plus....on Thursday I'm leaving for a little vacation. I plan to leave after work (and leave work early) and I'm heading to Victoria for the long weekend. I've never been to Victoria, and everyone tells me it's beautiful, so I'm going to see it for myself! I want to spend my time sleeping and reading but I've been informed by my staff that I have to do some touristy stuff or they will be very angry at me!

Tomorrow I write my General Epistles and Revelation exam. I have no idea if I'm ready for it; I've tried studying, but there's too much to learn. I think I know the key ideas, though, and it's open Bible, so I should be okay. I'll review my notes again tonight and not worry. It's an essay exam and I'm better at those; if I write enough, eventually I'll get the answer! After that there's nothing due until the first major paper on October 15th and then the other papers (on major and one only a page or two) on November 1st. That's why I'm heading away for a few days next weekend: it's quiet at work and there is no homework that I must do.

And that about sums up my life. I look forward to getting more rest and taking the time to recover before essay writing time starts. Then....I may not be heard from much until November!

Thoughts for You

2011-08-24T19:38:00.007-06:00

Here are more thoughts from one of my professors...

On grace:

Grace is God’s intervention in the current situation for your good. Grace is an action, and people who do grace are characterized by grace.

For encouragement:

When Jesus died for our sins, they were all future. As believers, we cannot commit a sin that Jesus has not already died for.

And finally:

The impact of sin and dealing with sin is cosmic.

Psalm 73, the final verses

2011-08-22T21:36:00.003-06:00

Today we get to the end of the Psalm. Sometimes I think of this more as a prayer, that I want to want nothing but God. Still, at the very least, it is my prayer.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And besides you, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For behold, those who are far from You will perish;
You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You.
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.

Sunday Stuff

2011-08-21T14:39:00.002-06:00

Today one of my Junior Church teachers asked if it was okay for her husband to teach with her; her regular helper won't be available. Further, she would prefer if he taught and she helped. I was not only happy, I was delighted. I think it's good for men to be involved in teaching the children; after all, it's the men who are leaders in the church.

During the sermon, Pastor James mentioned Moses performing the signs in Egypt. We're pretty sure he meant to say that Pharoah's magicians finally couldn't perform the same feats and told him that this was from God; however, what he actually said was musicians. Three times, in fact. I wondered if I was mishearing, but there were enough looks being passed from one person to another to confirm that I was hearing correctly!

Here's one of this week's songs (although we don't sound quite like this!)...

Hospitality

2011-08-19T14:01:00.002-06:00

Hospitality is something I think about often. It's a Biblical concept, showing hospitality, and it's tied up with love for others. The question is, how do we do it?

I think the answer is different for different people. I think that we have different gifts, different amounts of time and money to invest, and different lives. I think, though, that we don't have an excuse for not showing hospitality at least sometimes. Still, how often and how and to whom is more of an individual concern. What I am going to tell you about are the answers I've found for myself, and what works for me.

When I became convicted that I needed to start showing hospitality, I was lost. I didn't know how and I was overwhelmed by the thought of having people over. In my mind, everything needs to be perfect, with fancy food and pretty dishes, when people come over. Still, I knew it was important and wanted to be obedient to God's commands. Finally, I found a way.

I started small and well within my comfort zone: I invited some of the children from the church over. Now, this is where the differences may come in: children may not be in your comfort zone. Still, someone must be. Start with them. For me, it was easy to have the children over to play, and it worked well for parents who like a break. In this way I was able to start getting into the habit of hospitality. From children I moved on to having some of the ladies over, then families, and then it was easier.

My main concerns about hospitality are conversation and food. To deal with the first one, I invited families so that even if we ran out of converstaion, there were always the children to talk to and about, and then I invited over people who I knew were talkers!

The food was a different issue once I moved beyond just children (who are happy with PBJs and KD). Then I remembered Faith. Faith was my pastor's wife back in Thunder Bay. Almost every Sunday they had people over after church (I know this because I lived with them for several years). Every week, Faith fed them the same meal: roast cooked with carrots and potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, salad, and dessert (granted, the dessert sometimes varied). There was no stress and no major fuss and everyone was happy.

Following her example, I usually do the same thing. I get a chicken, a bag of baby potatoes, and some variety of frozen veggies (the best part: I have an excellent recipe for chicken pie to use the left overs). Sometimes I also buy a bag of salad and make some biscuits. Dessert is likely brownies (I like brownies). That's it, and there's no stress, no major fuss, and everyone is happy.

So far as who to invite: usually I either see someone or think about someone and decide that I should invite them over. The hardest part, for me, is doing it. I worry that I'll have them over and they won't have a good time, or that they won't want to come over. I think that they're probably too busy anyway. I can come up with a million excuses for not inviting people. I really just have to do it as soon as I think it. And guess what? People come, they're not too busy (even if they're busy, we find a time that works), and we have a good time together.

To sum it all up, here are my policies for myself:
1. I need to have people over at least once a month. That's my method of making sure I don't get out of the habit of hospitality.

2. I need to just invite people over and not worry about stuff.

3. When it comes to food, I stick with what I know will turn out. If I want to try something new, I do it when it's just me and if it's good, then I might make it for someone else.

If I may add a note for parents... don't let your children think that hospitality is a burden (even if you think it is) if you want them to grow up practicing hospitality. I don't remember going to people's houses often or having people over often when growing up (except family gatherings and birthdays), but when people did come over, it was always very stressful and rarely seemed worth the effort. Relax, and if you're worried that people will judge you because your house isn't perfect or whatever, just invite over other families. The kids won't care and the parents will understand!

That's all my advice: start in your comfort zone and keep it simple (unless you're into fancy dinner parties and they make you happy; in that case go for it (and I'd like an invitation, please)).

And when I get too stressed, I remind myself that it's called "practicing" hospitality not "being an expert at" hospitality!

Psalm 73: nearing the end

2011-08-15T21:36:00.002-06:00

I like this part. Listen:

When my heart was embittered
And I was pierced within,
Then I was senseless and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You have taken hold of my right hand.
With Your counsel You guide me,
And afterward receive me to glory.

See, Asaph knows that he was wrong. He had the wrong attitude and heart.

BUT: God did not leave Him. He still guided him by the hand.

I find great encouragement in remembering that.

Christmas in August

2011-08-14T18:35:00.002-06:00

Yesterday some of my junior high girls came over to celebrate Christmas. Yes, it's the wrong time of year (and it was possibly the hottest day of summer), but it was fun. We decorated Christmas ornaments (most of which are hanging around my livingroom drying properly) and ate Christmas food (okay, ham and turkey sandwiches with dried cranberries) and watched Christmas movies. There were coloured lights all around my apartment and Christmas movies playing and a gift exchange (which was wild; in the end, I lost the chocolate pudding but kept the DQ gift card).

And there was laughter. There were times when we were crying with laughter and couldn't breathe. There was insane silliness and strange new inside jokes and those moments (you know what I mean) when everything seems funnier than it really is.

(Side note: I'm checking out videos to post while I write this. In one version of "Joy to the World" the lyrics posted on the video said "Let men their songs employ" but the singer sang "Let all their songs employ." It was half politically correct! Also, one song claimed to be "Joy to the World" but was actually "Silent Night." Can people not tell the difference? In the end, as you will see, I went with something totally different.)

Okay, back to what I was saying: it was everything I needed now. All the stress of life disappeared and all that was left was joy and delight. Life was beautiful again.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Faith and Works

2011-08-11T20:12:00.000-06:00

When we were studying James in class, we got into the discussion about the relationship between faith and works. This is roughly how the professor explained it:

We don’t do works to prove that we’re believers; we do works because we’re believers.

If there’s a lone apple tree in an orchard of cherry trees, it doesn’t try to bear apples to prove that it’s an apple tree and not a cherry tree; it bears apples because it’s an apple tree and that’s what apple trees do.

So: works don't save. They aren't divorced from faith, either. Faith and works go together naturally.

Psalm 73, of course

2011-08-08T19:45:00.002-06:00

Okay, only 2 verses this week, but 4 next week, since I don't want to split up the next section. Here we see the final destruction of the wicked.

How they are destroyed in a moment!
They are utterly swept away by sudden terrors!
Like a dream when one awakes,
O LORD, when aroused, You will despise their form.

Not only will they be destroyed, but it will be suddenly and unexpected. It will be like it was at the time of the flood: "And just as it happened in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man: they were eating, they were drinking, they were marrying, they were being given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all." (Luke 17: 26-27)

Sunday Notes

2011-08-07T19:40:00.003-06:00

I had one of my boys teaching Junior Church today. He's going into grade 12 and has been helping in the class for a couple years; not long ago he asked if he could start teaching. Today he taught about the plagues. He seemed a bit nervous as he taught, and of course there are some rough spots to smooth out (it was his first time teaching), but I think he will become a great teacher. I'm glad, not only because he's going to be a good teacher, but also because as I acquire new helpers I always hope to one day train them as teachers. This is one of the few successes; most of the rest have either left for college or told me that they don't want to teach.

Okay, this isn't the song I wanted to post, but I cannot remember the title! Instead, you get this one, which is also great!

From the Kids

2011-08-03T21:36:00.004-06:00

I had some small people over Sunday evening while their parents went out. The oldest is 6 (I think, but he might still be 5), his sister is 4, and baby brother is 2. The two oldest were playing with Lego while the small one climbed on me; I think they had found the treasure chest and were playing some game. I over heard the following...

The oldest (B): I stored my treasure in heaven.

Sister (J): And now I'm coming to get it, right?

B: Yup!

After I stopped laughing, I confirmed that I had heard correctly.

B: Yes, I stored it in heaven before in the car. Mommy said so.

Psalm 73, next

2011-08-01T17:04:00.003-06:00

Now the author finally comes to the truth of the matter. What we see is not all there is, and we can trust God to deal with the wicked in the future.

When I pondered to understand this,
It was troublesome in my sight
Until I cam into the sanctuary of God;
Then I perceived their end.
Surely You set them in slippery places;
You cast them down to destruction.

See: he changes his perspective from looking at himself and his perspective to looking to God and His perspective.

Not Feeling Deep Today

2011-07-29T19:25:00.002-06:00

Not that anyone is surprised by that! All the "tips on having a successful blog" say that you need to write regularly and have a theme for your blog to get readers and keep people interested. Plus, posts about what I'm doing and stuff are real no-no's.

Obviously, I am not interested in a successful blog. I write sporadically and randomly about a mishmash of stuff and there's a lot of "what I'm doing" posts. As a result, I have about 4 readers; even my dad doesn't read what I have to say!

I suppose it depends on your definition of "successful." I like writing, sharing what's happening or whatever interests me, and I'm all good with not being well known. Well-know blogs get trolls in the comments who argue and then they have to defend themselves and stuff. Plus, then I might feel some obligation to write frequently. It's not going to happen!

So, to talk about myself.... It was a long week, I'm glad it's over, and I'm very happy for a long weekend. All I have to do is: finish a skirt, start another skirt, start studying for my exam, start research for papers, play with Lego with a couple little guys from the church, prepare a month or two of Junior Church stuff, vacuum....

At the last sleepover, the girls complained that I made them go home too soon (this, after I extended the time for an extra hour) because no one has anything to do on Saturdays anyway. I laughed at them.

Psalm 73, next section

2011-07-25T19:21:00.002-06:00

Now the Psalmist moves from his description of the wicked to his reaction to what he sees.

Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure
And washed my hands on innocence;
For I have been stricken all day long
And chastened every morning.
If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
Behold, I would have betrayed the generation of Your children.

I get him: sometimes I look around too, see how easy life seems for unbelievers, and how tough it seems for me and I wonder why. I think that sacrificing for Christ should lead to greater blessings, ignoring the eventual blessings.

But see what the Psalmist says next...he did not speak about it. He knew that it would be wrong and would affect others. Asaph was a priest and people listened to him, so he kept his mouth shut when he was doubting; he did not speak until he had answers (they're coming up later).

He stands in contrast to some so-called pastors I've heard about. They doubt and rejoice in their doubting and encourage others to doubt. They don't look for answers, for all that they claim to be looking for them; instead, they keep asking questions and it seems like they don't want answers. And so they betray the ones who look to them for answers.

Asaph was confused, he forgot some important characteristics of God, and he doubted. But he was careful, even in the worst of times, not to betray the people who looked up to him.

Church stuff

2011-07-24T15:01:00.002-06:00

I was back in my own church this morning, listing to my own pastor preach on Mark and keeping an eye on a certain small monkey who sits with me. She started to get bored, but then entertained herself by making new colours with the pencil crayons. Eventually she started colouring patches of blue and covering them with yellow to make green.

Next week I start training two of the high school boys to be Junior Church teachers. I had one approach me, and when I told him today that I planned to start training him next week, he was very happy. One of my other boys was there and he wants to learn to be a teacher too (although so far I don't know if either of them can teach). They've agreed to teach as a team, but I can't call them co-teachers because in movies that signals upcoming trouble.

That's all I have for you today, so I leave you with this....

School Notes

2011-07-20T08:00:00.003-06:00

School is going well and I'm learning a lot of stuff. Here are my random notes, with some commentary.....

Class one: I think there are 12 guys and 8 girls….we’re catching up! It beats last year with about 10 guys and me. Do the math: there are a lot more students this year than in any of my previous classes. In the second class, I think we’ve lost one of the girls. We’re still gaining on them!

Okay....fact....even though there are girls, I still mostly sit with the boys at meals, although one girl has come to join us, and sometimes at breakfast a couple of the other girls are there. Last night I tried sitting with the girls and ended up in Biblical Counselling world. On one side of me the girls were sharing proposal stories, complete with "That's so sweeeeeeet / cuuuuuute" and on the other side the boys were....sharing proposal stories (although with less gushing). Today I return to my place with the Biblical Studies boys.

I really, really love being a student. It’s a bit strange not being the one writing all over the whiteboard, but I like learning. Teachers are supposed to be the worst students, but I think that’s only true if you have a poor or even a mediocre teacher. With a good teacher, it’s easy enough for me to be a student. I will admit though: there have been times in the past (not here mind you) when it has been hard to keep my mouth shut because there were so many better ways to teach the topic and I can see the students’ minds wandering off. For a teacher, though, watching a good teacher work, either as an observer or a student, is actually a pleasure. I get to learn about the Bible and watch a master teacher and pick up pointers on how to be a better teacher as well.

Part of it is that Abner's teaching style matches my teaching style, so watching him is like watching myself! Dr. Hutchison is different, more direct and lecturing. He's still really, really good, though.

Sometimes it’s hard to see how the dating forward from the OT and the dating backwards from the NT are going to mesh, but when you do your homework, they do. It’s always surprising, but it shouldn’t be because it’s all God’s Word so of course it works!

Learning the chronology keeps Christ’s life in the time-space continuum; it keeps it real.

Contrary to popular belief, if you look at the Greek or Latin, “Christian” does not mean “little Christ” (which is what people used to tell me). It means “of the party of Christ” which means that we do everything to promote Him.

My computer clock is in Alberta time and I don’t want to change it to California time because I’ll forget to change it back. The only problem is that I thought class was almost over but there was still another hour.

Okay, there you are. There's more, but this is long enough. Also, some of it is stuff that I need to think about and that may end up as a post of its own.

Psalm 73, part whatever

2011-07-18T19:26:00.002-06:00

This week's verses end Asaph's description of the wicked:

Therefore his people return to this place,
And waters of abundance are drunk by them.
They say, "How does God know?
And is there knowledge with the Most High?"
Behold, these are the wicked;
And always at ease, they have increased in wealth.

So: they are rich, they do not acknowledge God, and yet they are at ease. It really, really seems like God ignores -- or even rewards -- disobedience and rebellion over following Him.

Next week we'll see how the Psalmist feels about things, and then we'll start to switch focus and get the answer.

Sunday in California

2011-07-17T16:01:00.002-06:00

I'm back at Master's. Classes start tomorrow, so yesterday was for settling in and catching up, today is for church and socializing in the evening (most of us are resting more this afternoon).

Notes from so far....

It's more fun to travel with someone than alone, even if we both spent time both on the plane and the shuttle sleeping (or dozing).

There are a lot of people here who I don't know yet, although I know some from last year and I've been getting to know others. There are other girls in my classes (yay) and at least one is from Canada.

Canadians are slowly and politely taking over the school. We have some competition, though, from Texans.

It hasn't been too hot yet, although too much time in the sun is still too much for me. It's supposed to get hotter, but most of the week I'll be inside.

We went to Grace Community Church this morning. The sermon was good, about how being a christian should lead us to fear God and willingly submit to Him, and there was communion. After the service I stopped by the bookstore and bought more books and a CD. After that, we went to one of the smaller groups (smaller than the service, bigger than my church) where the lesson was about Christ's temptation. It was also very good. Later I went to the visitor's centre, mostly because I knew they'd have juice or water (they did) and had a nice chat with some guy who handed me a free book.

With all that good teaching and worship you'd think I wouldn't miss my own church family, but I did. I love being with them best.

We went to the Stone Fire Grill for lunch. The food there is good, the price is good, and the portions are very generous. I had the petite macaroni and cheese and it was quite enough for me (and very good).

Later tonight, when we've recovered from lunch, some of us are planning to maybe go for pizza (although some people have leftovers from lunch; the portions are very, very generous).

So far it's been nice, relaxing, fun. Tomorrow the work starts. I think classes will also be fun, but a bit more strenuous mentally!

Almost Time!

2011-07-15T20:28:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow I leave for school!!!

Work wrapped up well; at any rate, everything seems under control and ready for my teacher to take over for a week. It was an insanely busy day, with three new students testing, parents to meet with, and more student binders to prepare for next weeks' new starts. Still, it's over now.

Right now I'm doing laundry. After that I can finish packing. Then I'll be ready to go. I understand that there are people who pack days in advance. I am not one of those people. I firmly believe in packing the night before. (Side note: The other night I dreamed that I was going somewhere and it was time to leave and I was still packing. I'm not really that bad.)

By this time tomorrow I'll be settled into a dorm room at Masters, catching up with old friends, meeting new friends. and relaxing.

I hope there's another girls in my classes this year.

We might need to work on our sympathy....

2011-07-14T20:39:00.002-06:00

Student: But I really have a headache.

Teacher 1: Well, try doing your work anyway.

Teacher 2: Doing work will make your headache better.

Student: No it doesn't. It's getting worser.

Teacher 2: "Worser" isn't a word.

Student: It's getting worse.

Teacher 1: That's right; high five!

Student and Teacher 1 high five....

Yes: while some people might offer sympathy, we offer reading work and correct his grammar.

As a side note: the student also said he threw up yesterday. We suggested that if he had to throw up today, he try going outside, maybe around the corner or in front of another business. If he insisted on throwing up in the bathroom, he had to make sure he did it neatly.

Also: By the second hour his headache was all better. Obviously our treatment worked.

Psalm 73, Part 3

2011-07-11T21:47:00.003-06:00

This week we are still talking about the wicked....

Their eye bulges from fatness;
The imaginations of their heart run riot,
The mock and wickedly speak of oppression;
They speak from on high,
They have set their mouth against the heavens,
And their tongue parades through the earth.

So, basically, the Psalmist is still describing the characters and actions of the wicked. They imagine wickedness beyond belief, they speak evil, and they speak against God. So why do they seem to prosper?

Soon...we'll see the answer.

Friday

2011-07-08T19:51:00.002-06:00

Week one of summer at work is done. It has been an insanely long week with people and paperwork all. the. time. Today I finally got to eat lunch at 3:30 after the last person left. By 5:30 I thought I was just about done for the day when the phone rang. It was a dad from earlier today who wanted to sign up his son to start next week. That was fine, but as we spoke he learned that the child needed more hours than mom was going to sign for so.....he had to talk to them about adding more time and call me back. He called back at just before 6:00 to arrange for him to start on Monday morning which meant I had to make sure everything was ready for him before I could go home. I finally left work at 6:30, making the work week approximately 51 hours long. No wonder I'm tired!

7 weeks of summer left. Next week looks to be at least almost as long as this week. The week after I'll be in school (yay!) and then everything should settle down to nice, normal days. I hope.

Books

2011-07-07T21:08:00.002-06:00

I'm trying to read some of the books that have been donated to the church library. Most books we okay right away, but a few we're not sure about. We can turn them over to the elder for approval, but this is not his area of expertise.

So far I've read 2 novels. (I know, I know...the things I do to ensure quality books...I am so dedicated!) They both turned out pretty well so I'm adding them to the library.

The other books are princess books. One of them is called "Do You Think I'm Beautiful?" and the other one is "Keeping a Princess Heart."

I'm not a fan of the princess mentality. I sort of understand; all women want to be called beautiful and seem special. I just worry sometimes that with all the princess talk we ignore huge parts of Scripture and it becomes all about us.

Really, I should read the books before I judge them, I get that. Um...if anyone out there has read them and can tell me how they are, it would help me.

Please?

Psalm 73, continued

2011-07-04T21:42:00.002-06:00

The next 3 verses start off the Psalmist's list of how he views the lives of the wicked....

For there are no pains in their death,
And their body is fat.
They are not in trouble as other men,
Nor are they plagued like mankind.
Therefore pride is their necklace;
The garment of violence covers them.

From his perspective, the wicked seem to have it good. They're prosperous, not troubled, either liked or at least left alone....it sounds good. It seems good to the wicked as well, as they are prideful and willing to turn to violence untouched.

Sometimes it's hard to see how good unbelievers have it and how easy things come for them. We'd maybe like to change places....until we remember God. (I've peeked ahead to see how the Psalm comes out. Go ahead; we won't get to the really good stuff for a few more weeks!)

Church Notes

2011-07-03T13:47:00.003-06:00

This morning on my way into church one of the boys said, "Miss Dorothy, I was somewhere doing something and I lost my library book." One week in existence and already the library is a book short. He's going to try to find it, though. He knows where he left it, so there's hope!

I taught my Junior Church babies again today. We're just about finished Joseph; he met up with his brothers again. Some of them seemed a bit sad that no one died, but next week will make up for that: Jacob and Joseph both die.

It's the oddest thing: church starts on time in summer. I think it's because there is no Sunday School before to make things busier and, since we start at 10:45 (Sunday School starts at 9:30 in the winter) there's no trouble getting there on time.

And now, some history and a hymn....

Canada Day...The Lighter Side

2011-07-01T09:57:00.003-06:00

I believe I left this off the list below of great things about Canada, so I bring you the Arrogant Worms.....

Canada Day

2011-07-01T09:32:00.002-06:00

I realized this morning that last Canada Day I was very busy and promised a proper, patriotic Canada Day post at the end of summer when I might be less busy. Research has shown that I never wrote that post. Research has also shown that I requested that someone remind me to write it and nobody did. For that reason alone I'm not feeling guilty about my neglect.

However....it's a year later and I'm a bit more relaxed, so I'll give it a shot.

Canada is a great country. Really, it is. It's big, it has an amazing array of nature: mountains, prairies, amazing forests.... I don't know why anyone would live anywhere else (except maybe to avoid winter). Actually, I like the change of seasons as well; I missed winter when I was in Taiwan. Canada also has a good medical system (yes, yes, not perfect, but what is) and an education system that is open to everyone (and I know that's not perfect either, but it beats out countries where you can't go to school if you're not rich enough or if you're a girl).

Yesterday: I went to work at a job I found on my own, that I can quit if I want to, and that pays enough to live comfortably, and don't feel intimidated by the people in charge. I took public transportation to get there in relative comfort. I stopped to get iced coffee from a coffee shop where they know me by name and are open and friendly. I spoke with parents who want the best for their children and taught children who have multiple opportunities ahead of them and who are growing up in a safe society. After work I went to the grocery store where I am always overwhelmed by the variety and amount of food. I walked home without fear, I entered a safe apartment with reliable electricity and hot running water. I surfed the net without restrictions and watched a video and read whatever I wanted.

Every Sunday I go to church and teach the children about God and sing out with other believers and listen to a pastor preaching soundly from the Word....all without fear of arrest or execution.

Every election I get to vote and no one tries to intimidate me.

I'm a female, and I can work and drive (if I wanted to) and walk the streets in whatever clothes I like and go to school without fear of arrest or persecution.

I know Canada has problems because no country is perfect. It will never be perfect this side of heaven.

Given a choice, though (and here I have a choice to move within the country or move to another country if I want), I think I'll stay.

Psalm 73

2011-06-29T19:43:00.003-06:00

I'm memorizing Psalm 73 this summer. The author (Asaph) and I understand each other (or would if he wasn't dead). Sometimes it's hard to see the wicked prosper and seem to have no difficulties. It's hard to remember that God will judge them and that belonging to Him is a million times better than any earthly stuff.

I've decided to memorize it slowly. I could learn it in a week or so if I really tried, but I want to know it fully, and to think about it carefully. To that end, I'm doing 3 verses a week (except the last week, when I will learn 4 (but I already know 2 of them)).

To start....

Surely God is good to Israel,
To those who are pure in heart!
But as for me, my feet came close to stumbling,
My steps had almost slipped.
For I was envious of the arrogant
As I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

There it is: an acknowledgement of God's goodness, of the Psalmist's sins, and of the reason for the sins. What encourages me, though is "came close" and "almost". It didn't quite happen, and I think that's because God takes care of His people even when we sin. We don't quite fall away.

More next week....

School

2011-06-27T19:50:00.003-06:00

I am very pleased to announce that I have completed all the pre-session work, and with time to spare. The last reading statement is due on Friday, but I knew that this would be a very long week so I read a LOT over the weekend. Now I'm free until classes start, 3 weeks from today.

I am, as always, looking forward to being at school and to being a student again, even if just for a week (I know I'm a student now, but being in classes is different). It's a combination of learning all day, catching up with people I only see once a year, being surrounded by other students who understand my desire to be there, and freedom. For one week I'm a college student again with no huge adult responsibilities. It's busy, but it's so much fun.

I leave in 2 weeks and 5 day.

Church Library

2011-06-26T13:48:00.003-06:00

Exactly 3 months and 1 day ago a friend and I sat down and decided the vision statement and mission statement for our potential church library. After it was approved by the elders, we started collecting and sorting and categorizing and fixing and organizing books.

The church library opened today to absolutely no fanfare since the pastor forgot to announce it. Granted, the church bulletin did have a small announcement, but I don't think people actually read the bulletin; they just use it for sermon notes and doodling (and writing Bible location quizzes for small, bored children, but that may be just me).

Anyway, most of the people who knew the library was opening were people I had been talking to about it, and most of the people who came to check out books were children (maybe I need to talk to adults more). There were adults there, but a lot of them seemed to have been dragged in by children who wanted to check out books but needed a parent with them (grade 6 and under need to be accompanied by a parent (which is a good rule since one of the boys came with his dad and chose the movie "Through Gates of Splendor" which I was later told has nudity but I don't feel responsible for potentially corrupting him (new church library motto: "Encouraging Adults and Corrupting Children"))).

Still, there was some business, and I'll get the pastor to remember to announce it next week. Plus, I finally get to be a proper librarian: I checked out books, recommended books, and discussed books. It is every bit as wonderful as I though it would be when I was young and dreaming of being a librarian.

In Which I Book a Plane Ticket

2011-06-23T20:41:00.003-06:00

Today I booked my ticket for California. I'm going to school the same week as one of my friends and we've been watching the flights as the prices went up (to $500 one way before taxes) and down again. Since we leave in 23 days, we were really running out of time. Finally we decided that we'd wait to see what WestJet's Blue Ticket Thursday sale was and then book. The sale was only for Canada, but.....the non stop flight to LA was well under $300 and the flight back was under $200 so the total was low enough, and if we waited any longer the prices were going to go back up (especially on the flight back, which only had 2 seats). I decided to book, emailed my friend and told her to book, and started the process.

Have I ever told you about my internet issues at work? I have a terrible internet connection. I'm pretty sure the modem is dying, but I can't do anything about it because Telus won't just come and fix it; instead, they ask questions I can't answer. Anyway. Today was the worst internet day yet (by the end of the day I couldn't coax it into working long enough to send an email).

Okay, back to the story. I started to book the ticket. The internet went down. Then it was back up. I got a bit further. The internet went down. I tried to enter payment information. The internet went down. I was ready to enter my MasterCard access code (once I chose a new one since I never, ever remember what it is). The internet went down. The entire transaction timed out. I started over.

Fun times. I did it all over again (except that for a change I remembered my MasterCard access code), and the internet kept going down. I was frustrated and tired and finally reached the end...and the internet went down. The flight didn't go through. I started over.

This time I switched to the computer by the modem so I could watch the lights (three steady lights and not much blinking means the internet is working). At each step, I waited until the internet was working before moving on. I almost reached the end....and the seat I wanted was gone. No more cheap seat. I had to start over.

By then I was ready to cry or yell or something. After some moments of frustration, I tried praying... because God is sovereign over all things even the internet and flights and WestJet and even when I don't understand and I was frustrated and annoyed and tired and would He please keep the internet working because I need the ticket please, please, please!

I started over, with a slightly higher price (about $40) and finally reached the end. Confirmation popped up on my screen, the ticket was booked, and did I want to print the page. The problem is, that computer won't always print. Instead of trying to print, I opened another window and checked email to see if the confirmation was there so I could print it at home.

And that, friends, is when I learned that one of those earlier attempts that hadn't worked (and had never been confirmed) had, in fact, worked. I now held 2 tickets to California.

I considered crying, breaking the computer, throwing a temper tantrum....and resorted to prayer again, and then finally laughed (a bit; it was only sort-of funny, but it was one of those times when it was laugh or yell (or break something)).

Once the internet was working again, I found the WestJet number in one of the emails and called (and got put on hold, although they will take your number and call you back when your turn comes, but I decided to wait). I put the phone on speaker (I was using my cell) and read my book until the internet came back up. Then I went back to the confirmation page on the WestJet sight (which I had never closed) and hit the refund button. Then the internet went down. I waited. Finally I was able to confirm that I wanted a refund on the flight.

About the time the refund was confirmed, the WestJet lady came on the phone. I told her that I thought I had fixed things, but could she check for me. I told her my story and she sympathized and laughed with me (telling it was funnier than living it) and told me that she never tries to navigate the on-line booking. She assured me that I only had one ticket booked, that the other ticket had been refunded. She said that she wanted to mess with me and tell me that I was confirmed to fly from Newfoundland to Tampa Bay, but she was nice and confirmed that I am indeed flying direct to LA on July 16th.

Next time maybe I'll just call to book.

The Sleepovers

2011-06-14T20:20:00.000-06:00

The sleepovers are over, and both I and my apartment survived and are on our way to recovery!

The first one, two Fridays ago, was the "little girls" from my Sunday School class. In the end only 4 were able to attend, which made it very quiet. It was a miserable evening outside so we couldn't rent movies, but between what I had and what one of them brought, we were well stocked. One girl also brought the game Life, which I generally find tedious. It's much, much better late at night with 4 rather tired, giggly girls! Then they decided that they were tired and I should put on some nice, quiet music so they could fall asleep. That's how, at the not-so-late hour of 11:30 (well, not late for sleepovers) they were all sprawled around my living room falling asleep to the sounds of Beethoven.

The second sleepover, this past Friday, was an entirely different story! These were my "big girls" from the Junior High class (well, one is in grade 10, but the rest are all grade 7 or 9). They, of course, are too old for kids movies and silly things like sleeping. Except that they really enjoyed "Gnomeo and Juliet" (my choice: they initially objected but only because they didn't get to choose...poor babies). Their choices tend to be chick flicks, which bore me. I also have to say "NO" to most of their choices for various reasons. In the end, they chose "The Back-up Plan" and some other movie (there's a baby, and 2 guardians who don't like each other....). I had to stop "The Back-up Plan" at least twice so we could talk about all the things that were wrong with it (God's plan for families does not include purposely getting pregnant when single; when a guy invites you to the farm or cabin or whatever, he has only one thing in mind....). It's really, really hard to find appropriate movies that the girls want to watch. Anyway, these girls went to sleep at around 2:30 (a couple of them before that, but one won't admit how early she fell asleep!), and slept until 9:30. It wasn't bad, really.

That's my tale of sleepovers.

Praise You in this Storm - Casting Crowns

2011-06-07T18:21:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I hear the opinion that if Christians really trusted God and had enough faith then everything would be okay and we'd never, ever be depressed, even mildly.

I don't think trusting God makes everything good. I think it's still possible to find life really tough and sometimes too big. The trust and faith, though: that's why we can praise God in the midst of it all.

2011-06-03T16:31:00.003-06:00

This is what I read today: an article about a 10 year old girl.
(Read it before you read any further....but know that it isn't happy.)

When I read it, I didn't cry. I was angry instead: at her family (she has a chance for a better life), at whoever would buy her, and at the people who support the child sex trade. And then I was angry at my life, at myself, for still being here instead of being there doing something. Every time I read something like this, I want to go and help these children, but I don't know how. And I know it's not time yet, I still have school, I have a purpose here as well, etc, etc. So I wait and I pray and I research so when the time comes, I know who is out there helping. Still, it leaves me frustrated and impatient and wanting to gather up all the children and make everything okay.

I wonder, too, how many more articles I can read and stories I can hear before it all starts to sound the same and to sound old, like I've heard it all before. I wonder, is there a point where my brain won't want to hear another story and my heart won't be able to cope with the sorrow and pain and I'll stop listening or caring. I pray that never happens; I know it will feel better but it means they'll win again and one day no one will do anything. That day must not come.

And now I'm at home and soon my Sunday School girls will show up for a sleepover and I think, they're all about that age, and their biggest concerns are about what movie we'll watch, and they take a loving family and an education and a future for granted, and I'm so thankful on their behalf.

And so this evening I'll watch them play and laugh at them and be happy, and for a little while I won't think about all the children who aren't allowed a childhood. For a little while the world will be okay.

Bad Christian Songs

2011-05-21T19:17:00.002-06:00

Two songs for you, each bad in their own way. This is really only a half serious post (the first half).

First, a song that we should not teach children. I get that it's cute and fun to sing and sticks in your head FOREVER (sorry about that), but it's just. not. true. And we shouldn't let them expect it. What happens when they're not....

And to drive that one out of your head, I there's this one, which is just bad on so many levels. You've been warned...

Best line, in my opinion: "He is like a Mountie...."

Where I Turn

2011-05-18T07:26:00.003-06:00

When life is hard and it all seems too big to deal with, I ignore whatever my regular personal Bible study plan is and go to the Psalms. I love the psalmists. They knew that life can be tough in so many ways and they didn't hide that truth behind happy phrases. At the same time, they knew God and they trusted Him and believed His words even when life seemed darkest.

Today I was in Psalm 139, which is one of my favourites (as well as 1, 4, 8, 46, 91, 118, 121....)

So here, from the middle:

⁷Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
⁸If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
⁹If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
¹⁰Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
¹¹If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,"
¹²Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day
Darkness and light are alike to You.

On Being Childless

2011-05-15T20:21:00.002-06:00

Mother's Day is always tough. I'm glad I go to a church that doesn't make a big deal out of it and never, ever preaches a special sermon for moms. This year, though, there was a lunch after church and it included a baby shower (showers at my church tend to be "whole church" affairs and everyone just chips in for a gift). It didn't help. I spent most of the official "baby shower" time (we all had lunch and then gathered in one of the classrooms for the pastor's short talk and the presentation of the gift) in the hall with a friend's baby. It gave me a baby to hold and an excuse to skip the shower part.

Besides this, there's another new baby at church, at least 2 pregnancies, and I think a third (I don't know who; this is based on what someone couldn't say). All of that makes things tougher.

And listen: I know it must be tougher for married women who are trying to get pregnant and can't. They're ready to become moms and are dealing with something being wrong. I, on the other hand, have no husband and therefore no way to become a mom anyway (okay, no Biblical way). I think, though, that it's a different type of hurt. It's one that doesn't even have the hope of "maybe this month" (although not the monthly sorrow either). Besides, I don't think many people realize how much being motherless can hurt single women, too, so there's a lack of sympathy. After all, if I would just get married.... And since I'm not married, probably I don't really want a baby anyway.

Listen: I'm still a woman. I still have all the womanly desires to have my own baby, to hold her in my arms, to see what she looks like. I have all sorts of mothering instinct welling up inside me with no real outlet, no complete satisfaction.

Please don't tell me that there's a reason for my childlessness. Don't point out all the things I can do with the extra time, or all the ways God can use me in the lives of other people's children. Don't remind me that God is sovereign and that if and when He wills it, I will be a mother, and that His plans for me are best. I know all this. Right now it isn't helping.

This is a big part of what makes life overwhelming for me sometimes. It makes me sad and tired and lonely. And that makes it harder to focus on the rest of life until I feel like I'm just going through the motions and not all that well either.

I know that eventually I'll get past this stage (again). I know that if I just keep going and doing what needs to be done that one day I will realize that it's become easy (again).

Right now, though, all I really want is to be a mom.

Just for Fun

2011-05-06T11:24:00.001-06:00

This was a long week, and yesterday I was tired of everything. Then I stumbled upon this....

And everything was all better.

To Think About

2011-04-26T21:50:00.004-06:00

From F.F. Bruce's Commentary on the Epistle to the Hebrews

"There are many who are ready to tell us confidently what would and what would not be worthy of God; but in fact the only way to discover what is a worthy thing for God to do is to consider what God has already done. The person who says, "I could not have a high opinion of a God who would (or would not) do this or that," is not adding anything to our knowledge of God; he is simply telling us something about himself. We may be sure that all God does is worthy of himself...."

He is Risen!

2011-04-23T21:19:00.001-06:00

Easter is Coming

2011-04-22T15:08:00.002-06:00

I saw this over at Biblical Christianity. He asked what Bible verse was standing out in our minds as we consider Good Friday and Christ's work on the cross.

Romans 5:6
"For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly."

Do you see it all? We had no way to help ourselves and there was nothing we could offer. We did not deserve life and we did not deserve Christ. Further, we didn't need to become good on our own first. Christ died for the ungodly. God's perfect gift in God's perfect timing.

Today

2011-04-18T18:22:00.003-06:00

Today I feel better.

Yesterday was wildly busy. I taught Sunday School, threatened several children if they so much as touched the library computer (which is now in my Sunday School room, future room of the church library), found a different place for Junior Church after it was determined that the broken light in my room scattered too much glass to clean up properly before class time, taught Junior Church, talked with some parents (whose children are responsible for such things as a broken light and a crayon war), and had friends over for supper. That last one: that was fun. These friends have 2 young boys (7 and around 2) and we had a great time playing, watching them play, and discussing all sorts of things both deep and fun. I really should have them over more often. Anyway, by the end of yesterday I was really tired.

Today I stopped. I took the day off from work, school, Sunday School, Junior Church, whatever else has to be done. I slept and read and took a nap and watched TV and read more and went for a little walk and ate fast food for lunch and built a puzzle and read some more.

Now I feel much better than I have in a long time and I think I can face the world again tomorrow.

On Coping with Stuff

2011-04-14T13:14:00.003-06:00

Here's the thing: I am determined to handle everything myself. That's what I do. Overwhelmed by schoolwork? No problem; I can cope. Too much happening at work? Hey, I'm the director; dealing with stuff is what I do. Life in general is too busy, too tough, and too tiring? I'll sleep next month; this month I'm taking care of everything.

(For the record: I know I've been getting some help, so if you're reading this and thinking, "Hey, I fed you ice cream when you were too overwhelmed to cope," understand that I fully acknowledge that and really, really appreciate it. That kept the emotional side under control.)

Right now I'm tired. Really, really, really tired. I've been putting in too many 11 hour days at work (that would be: more than 1 each week) and doing schoolwork and whatever else has to be done (cook, clean, teach Sunday School, prepare Junior Church stuff, Bible studies, socializing enough that people don't call me a hermit....). Plus, it's at the point where I can't switch off my mind and I'm not sleeping well and when I do sleep my dreams are tangled messes of everything going through my mind.

(As a side note: if you have children and are thinking that I'm whining because I don't know what busy is....stuff it. Single people have busy, overwhelming lives, too. It's just a different business which is sometimes caused by people who think married people have easy lives and tons of time to do stuff.)

It's time to stop that nonsense. Next week I'm taking a day off (it's my sick day from March 23 when I was actually sick; this is the first day I could take off). Further, I am not thinking about work or school that day. In May, I'm getting my Sunday School helper to take over teaching (I would do it now, but there's no time to get her the stuff by this Sunday and next Sunday is a review of this Sunday and then it's May). I have permission to get some of my staff to help with the admin stuff, so I'll arrange that starting next week. And sometimes, in the evenings, I'll order pizza and read a book or watch TV....and not feel guilty about not being productive. I'll invite a friend over so we can be unproductive together.

I'm done insisting that I can do everything on my own. I'm also done insisting that it all has to be perfect and that I have to be perfect (always prepared, coping with whatever comes along, dong it all so it's done right). Then maybe I'll reach the point where I can cope with whatever is left.

The Voice of Truth -- Casting Crowns

2011-04-10T14:13:00.002-06:00

Sometimes the future scares me.
Sometimes it seems so big and I don't think I'll ever be ready to face it.
Sometimes all I have is the knowledge that God is in control and I do not need to fear.
Sometimes all I can do is cling to that and take a step forward.

Just Do Something

2011-04-06T21:48:00.004-06:00

I recently read the book "Just Do Something" by Kevin DeYoung. It's a small book and a fairly easy read, and yet full of good stuff. I quite enjoyed it, both the topic and his writing.

The general idea is that knowing God's will for our lives is not that complicated. He wants us to be saved, filled with the Holy Spirit, rejoicing and giving thanks, bearing fruit, and being filled with the Holy Spirit. Once you get that down....just do something. If you're genuinely wanting to follow God and become more Christlike, God won't let you wander out of His will. What career you choose, where you live, even who you marry -- as long as you're not sinning in your choices (getting illegal work, abandoning your family, marrying a nonchristian) -- will be God's will for your life.

See, I think sometimes we spend a lot of time worrying and praying and seeking advice (and the latter 2 are very good ideas) and never doing anything. We use "seeking God's will" as a reason to never do anything.

I learned this when I was trying to decide what Bible college to attend. After months of gathering information about different schools and talking with people I finally reached the point that I knew that looking into more colleges and programs was just putting off making a decision. So I prayed about it, looked at all the information, and choose the one that worked best for me in terms of theology, course offerings, and program design. I didn't wait until it "felt right" or until God "told" me to go; I just choose and got on with the process of applying.

So there you are: obey God, follow God, serve God...and then do stuff.

Church Library

2011-04-03T16:50:00.003-06:00

We're getting a church library! We have a vision statement, a mission statement, a place to have it, and a few books and DVDs. It's a good start!

The vision statement gives the long-term goals. We wanted to rival the great libraries of Europe, but the elder took that part out. He did let us keep the desire for a fireplace when we get a permanent room for the library. Right now we're leasing part of a school for church and the library will share my Sunday School room.

The mission statement gives the day-to-day workings of the library. It's 2 pages of incredible detail so that nothing goes wrong ever (ha, ha...aren't we optimists!). Actually, the point was to get things set up properly now so that we have fewer issues further down the line.

One of the elders is going to make bookcases for us. He asked how many I wanted and I wasn't sure how optimistic to be, since we're depending on donations to get the books for now. We decided on 4 bookcases based on the amount of space we have, along with a filing cabinet and a desk (that his wife will be very happy to get out of their house).

I have a few books and DVDs here that have been donated; the rule now is that all donations must be brought to the church. I also have several books, mostly from school, that I plan to donate, leaving me room for this year's school books. I do need to make sure I only bring in the books I haven't written in, though. A couple other people told me that they have piles of books that we can have as well. From what I've heard, the only issue we may have is not many (or not any) books for kids, and at least 3 children are excited about the library already. We'll have to see how that works out.

It's all very exciting since I've always wanted to be a librarian and I'll get to play with books!