About Love

This summer the women's ministry memory work was 1 Corinthians 13. It's going to play a large role in our study this year as well. And I still have some bits of the sermons Pastor James preached on the chapter several years ago.

Love is hard. As I've been memorizing it and dealing with people, I've seen how far from truly loving people I still am (although I'm very good at loving myself!).

It's very good to have the verses in my head and heart as I answer emails and have meetings and organize Sunday School and wait on people. I pray a lot to be patient, kind, not arrogant, not easily provoked, not behaving unbecomingly; bear and endure all things and to believe the best of people; to not keep a list of wrongs suffered. 

At the same time, I have to fight my idols: comfort, being in control, having things go my way. That's so not fun, but it helps me see where my heart is wrong and needs to be pulled back into alignment, and where I need to repent.

It has been a lot of heart work, but it's been good. And it hasn't torn me apart nearly as much as the sermons did back when Pastor James preached them. That was painful! I can be encouraged by how far I've come since then. At the same time, I can see how far I have to go.

Love is hard, and I keep praying for more love so that I love others more than I love myself. And God is faithful to keep answering my prayers and conforming me more in the likeness of His Son.

About Books

Things that I like to read: 

• WWII historical fiction about librarians and books shop owners 
• Biographies
• Spy fiction and non fiction, especially Cold War CIA books
• Mysteries (but not the gory type)
• "Found family" stories
• Adventure stories
• WWII nonfiction about librarians
• Theology
• Travel books, fiction and nonfiction
• Various nonfiction books, especially in the social sciences area
• Many, many other books

Things that I don't enjoy reading:

• Romance novels (although I am okay with some romance in a book)
• Dual timeline novels (right now, anyway; I think I just need a break from them)
• Horror and thrillers
• Anything too gory
• Sex scenes, and doubly so when they are unnecessary and interrupt a perfectly good book
• Books that I have decided are too boring or strange
• Poorly written books

Things I am currently getting from the library:

• Books about librarians
• Travel books
• Many, many picture books to read to the bambinos on Wednesday mornings this fall
• Theology
• A novel about families and found families

August

August started off rather rainy and then turned very hot. I prefer cooler weather, but even I had quite enough of the rain this summer!

In August I went to church camp for the first time ever. I had friends going just for Wednesday, so I was there for the afternoon/evening. It was a wet day, of course! I spent the time going from camper to camper, visiting with friends. One dad was baking cookies in his trailer, so I joined them for cookies and coffee. I also had a standing invitation to join another family for dinner and enjoyed time with them. It was talent show evening and I enjoyed watching kids and families (and a couple adults) perform. It was okay; I may go back one day.

I had dinner with friends one day. I'm pretty sure the mom of the family has "feed people" as her love language! She fed us and then fed us more and then sent the leftovers home with us to enjoy the next day. It was good food and good company and a lot of laughter and fun.

Sunday School registration happened a couple weeks ago. It was insane. We ended up with 114 students attending and 10 still on the waitlist. We're having a new class this year, held in the nursery. I'm still sorting that out and preparing for the start in about 3 weeks.

August ended with a wedding. My friend's daughter -- and one of my students from junior church -- is now married. The wedding was lovely and the bride was beautiful. That was the 4th church wedding of the summer (and there were 2 engagements), so I guess we're in that season now. All the children I taught long ago are getting married and starting families. Soon enough I'll be teaching the next generation.

It was a good month. And now we're just into September and life is starting up full tilt again.

On Friendship

Friendships are built on a lot of things. 

There are the big things: shared joys, shared sorrows, having each other's backs in hard times. There are long conversations about the challenges of life and about learning and growth.

There are the little things: shared jokes, laughter, books, stories, adventures. There are long conversations about mundane things and long car rides and ice cream and quiet times just being together.

While friendships are generally build on come commonalities, there are also differences and those are good too. We don't have to like the all the same things or have the same lives. The differences may be enough to surprise people, but they work.

There are friendships for a short time and friendships for a long time. I had friends in university who were for that time and then we drifted apart. That was okay too. We had been friends and had shared a time and it was good, it was fun, and then it was time for all of us to move on to another life.

I used to think that I didn't know how to make friends. My friend group was very small and I often felt on the edge of it. That eventually changed and now I have so many people, and I understand what was going on in my early years. When I was younger, I was at a small school and I was different. I didn't fit in, and I thought it was my fault, that something was wrong with me, but I didn't know how to change. As I got older, I people who were my sort of different, and others who are not but who are okay with my kind of different. I didn't need to learn how to make friends and I didn't need to change; I just needed to find my people.

I still only have a small circle of very close friends, and I like it that way. I also have a huge circle of good friends, people I like to be with. I look back at my younger years and I understand and I want to tell the children who don't quite fit in with their peers: Be patient. Your time is coming. You will find your people.

“The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”...[I]t is there that Friendship is born. And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude."

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

So Very Tired

I haven't been sleeping well this week. I'm blaming the weather; it's been constantly changing this week with hot, cooler, windy, rainy, humid, pressure up and down....it's been a mess!

Last night was the worst. Along with the regular challenges, yesterday was Sunday School registration and there were way too many children registered. Once upon a time, I had 3 classes and around 45 students to oversee. Now I have 7 classes, 100 students, and several on the wait list for this fall. We're out of room and I have squeezed in every child possible. So last night my brain wouldn't shut off about the students and how to tell some parents that they have to be on the wait list and disappointing children. It did not make for a good sleep. 

Although I did sleep very well... for about 2 hours in the early morning! The rest was a bit of dozing and a lot of awake.

Today is a rest day. I've been watching animal documentaries and lounging on the couch with books. I'm really, really hoping that I fall asleep for a while.

Sleep is good. I miss sleep. Maybe tonight will be better.

Just Bits of Stuff

Four years ago I offered my first Church History class with 6 high school students. It was a wild time and so much fun teaching them. Yesterday, it was announced that one of the kids is now engaged, which means that of the original group, 5 of them are either engaged, married, or in a serious relationship. I suggested that we needed to get the sixth one married off, but his mom objected!

Wednesday will be Sunday School registration. It opens at 10:00 and I've already arranged for it to be closed at 2:00. Previous experience has shown that the classes will be full by then; most of them are full by 11:00 (and some by 10:20). Anyone who waits later then that will have to contact me and then get on the wait list. I am looking forward to the day when we have enough room for all the kids and a junior high class again.

Pastor Mark preached yesterday. He doesn't preach often, and I enjoy it when he does. 

I was at church camp one afternoon last week. I've been able to not go for all the years (maybe 14 or so?) that camp has been a thing, but I finally agreed to spend one afternoon there since I had friends going out anyway. I was rainy and muddy and there were so many kids! That said, it was okay. Several people have campers and I was able to visit with some families. Also, it was the talent show and that was fun.

That said, it was very busy and there were so many people and I have no idea how people do it for the entire week! 

This week is pretty quiet. I really, really need to get more Sunday School lessons written and ready to go. My goal is 12 weeks (10 lessons and 2 review weeks); so far, I have 7 lessons and 1 review week completed. If I can get through the rest by the end of August, I'll feel ready to start.

Work is starting up again. I have the initial list of students and some of the program plans are done and ready to check. There are still people who need to register, so I don't know what my final numbers will be for this year.

Overall, things are going along well right now. The sun is shining, my garden is growing, I have many flowers and some tomatoes on my tomato plants, and I just realized that I need to go and water them!

Balance

I'm working on finding balance in my life this summer. My schedule is a bit up and down during the year. September starts to get busy. October and November are wildly busy; December is somewhat busy but starting to wind down; January and February are quieter; March and April and most of May are wildly busy; the rest of may and June are somewhat busy; July and August are quieter. 

That makes July and August (and to a lesser extent January and February) time to rest and recover from being surrounded by people all the time. It is also time to prepare for the next time of wildly busy.

The balance is in rest and prepare. What do I need to do to be ready for the next onslaught? What do I need to take care of that gets neglected during the busy times? And at the same time, how do I rest and recover from the very busy times? Is it okay to just stop for a while? How do I best rest?

I don't really have answers. I have lists of things that I want (and need) to accomplish this summer. I have looming deadlines (Sunday School starts in 5 weeks and 3 days). 

I also know that this is my off time, my time to rest and recharge. I don't yet know the best way to do this. I'm considering a few days of "staycation" where I shut off electronics and just stop for a while. Just me and my books, a new puzzle that's waiting to be built, some nice walks outside, the occasional nap, and time to reflect. And somehow without thinking about the things that I still need to accomplish this summer.

Balance. Between the things that I need and the things I need to do. Maybe this will be the summer that I find it.