The Year's Non-Fiction

Okay, so here are my top picks for 2012. Again: these are books that I read in 2012, or at least finished in 2012.

1. Secret Believers, by Brother Andrew and Al Janssen. This book gave me a look into what it's like to be a Christian in a Muslim country. It means losing family and friends and often enough life and freedom. It also showed me how to pray for these believers.You can read my original thoughts here.

2. The World-Tilting Gospel, by Dan Phillips. This is one of the best books I have read on the gospel, covering everything from creation to why we need salvation to the means of salvation to what comes next. You can read my review here.

3. A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 by W. Phillip Keller. I read this one for school and rather enjoyed it. I think the author stretches his analogy by the end, but it's still a good book. At the very least, you can learn a lot about sheep.

4. Give Me This Mountain and He Gave Us a Valley by Dr. Helen Reseveare. These are her autobiographies of her time as a missionary in the Congo, including her trials and capture during the uprising, her rescue, and that she went back.

5. When People are Big and God is Small by Edward T. Welch. One of the elders had me read this when I was coming to grips with just how big God is. You can read my initial thoughts here. I found it very helpful not only when I first read it, but over the months as I've pondered some of the thoughts.

6. The Most Misused Verses in the Bible by Eric J. Bargerhuff. This is a solid work and it puts the verses back in context; I wrote about it here.

7. Exegetical Fallacies by D.A. Carson. I will admit: I skimmed the chapter on Greek fallacies because my Greek was not up to the challenge. Overall, though, I think people might enjoy this one. I found some fallacies that I've heard in sermons, some of which I've wondered about.

8. Knowing God by J.I. Packer. This is a classic and an excellent, excellent book. I meet with a small group of ladies every couple weeks (or so...with time off over the summer...or when we're too busy) and we spent about a year going through this book. I would definitely recommend it to everyone.

9. Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul David Tripp. This is another one from the elder (who is patiently waiting for a book review). It's one of his biblical counselling books so I was a bit concerned, but it manages to avoid being all "let's talk about our emotions." It's about how we are all called to help each other grow and change, and it focuses on heart changes rather than just behavior changes.

Those are the big ones. I also read a pile of the Christian Heroes Then and Now biographies, which I always enjoy. There were a few other books for school, some good and some not-so-good (or at least not-so-interesting) as well as a couple other biographies. Overall, it was a good year for reading. Now I'm ready to get going on the books of 2013!

Fiction Round-Up

Since the year is drawing to a close, I thought it was time for a post about my favorite books of the past year. I've read well over 70 books (and the year isn't over yet) so I decided to split it up between fiction and non-fiction this year. Today is for fiction, and I'll get to non-fiction before the end of the year.

For the record: my lists are of books that I read this year, not necessarily books that were written or published this year!

Okay, my top fiction books, in no particular order:

1. Terry Pratchett. I read 18 of his books this year, so he's definitely a favorite! He writes fantasy with proper British humor. His books should not be read in public unless you enjoy people wondering why you suddenly started laughing out loud.

2. Jeffrey Archer, And Thereby Hangs a Tail. This is, I believe, his newest book of short stories. Archer also writes novels, but I've never read any. I have, however, read all of his collections of short stories. I like the way he writes.

3. Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games trilogy. I started them to see what the kids were reading and rather enjoyed them. The first book is the best, and I found that by the third book she was getting a bit preachy. Her views would have been easier to take if she had been more subtle. Still, the story was good.

4. Lian Tanner: Museum of Thieves, City of Lies, Path of Beasts. This is another trilogy, written for children and very, very good. It's one of the few trilogies where I found the last book to be as satisfying as the first.

5. Madeline L'Engle, A Wrinkle in Time, A Wind in the Door, A Swiftly Tilting Planet, Dragons in the Water. This was really a re-read, since I had read all of them before. I started re-reading them because one of my students is writing book reports on a couple of her books. They seem a lot shorter than they did when I was a child! I still enjoy L'Engle's writing style and stories.

There were more (a lot more) but these are my favorites. A lot of what I ended up reading in the fiction category was children's fiction. I enjoy any story as long as it's written well, and I find that reading children's and youth fiction is very relaxing.

The Christmas Concert

This year's Christmas concert at the church went well. We had it Sunday evening. Preparing for it always seems stressful, with the worry that no one will know his or her parts and everything will fall apart. We have one full rehearsal on Sunday morning during Sunday School time and never once have all the students shown up for the rehearsal. In the end, though, it works.

Some of my favourite parts:
1. The girls singing "O Come, O Come Emmanuel." They didn't practice until Sunday morning (and argued that they only knew about it for a week, which is nonsense). In fact, some of them weren't there in the morning for the rehearsal, so they were still rehearsing at 5:30 Sunday evening (the concert started at 6). They actually did a very good job.

2. One of my small shepherds played "Angels We Have Heard on High" on the piano during the angel and shepherd scene (and did a great job because his parents had him practice a lot). He had his music book tucked into his housecoat (we believe in simple costumes) and pulled it out to play his song. Then, as he rejoined the other shepherds, he tucked it back into his robe.

3. Mary and Joseph managed to stay relatively still the whole time they were on stage. They were up there for a large portion of the concert, just kneeling by the manger (okay, doll crib, but we had real straw in it). Mary had a lovely pink pillow to kneel on (I think it was a Disney princess pillow) which happily no one could see) and Joseph was wearing his Jedi robe. It seems that "male Bible character" and "Jedi" are rather interchangeable!

4. One of my little guys sang "What Child is This" while his sister played it on the guitar. I think they had the mic turned up: the first word blasted out! It didn't bother him at all, they adjusted the mic, and he sang out wonderfully. His sister played very well also.

5. At the end, Pastor Lyle usually does a sermon or short talk. This year they brought up a rocking chair for him and the children sat on the floor around him as he read the story of Christmas to them. They started out mostly on the floor beside him, but by the time he was done they were crowded close on both sides and behind (looking over the top of the chair) to see the pictures.

6. As the ending, we sang Silent Night and had the candles lit and it was all properly Christmas-y.

Merry Christmas

Here's a Christmas song for the Dutch out there. Singing this at the end of every Christmas service was part of my childhood. For years I didn't know what it meant, but I sang it anyway. Mostly I sang the "sounds" rather than the words!



 

When I was young, we always sang it in Dutch. Later, as I recall, the English words were also given and people sang in whichever language they chose. I stuck with Dutch (although it's all the Dutch I know), I think because it sounds "right" to me that way. It's a part of my childhood.

For those of you who don't know Dutch, here's the translation:
Glory to God! (2X) In the highest! (3X)
Peace on the earth, peace on the earth to the people who have God’s favor.
Glory to God in the highest! (2X)
Peace on the earth. (4X) To the people, to the people who have God’s favor.
To the people who have God’s favor, who have God’s favor!
Glory to God! Glory to God! In the highest! In the highest! In the highest!
Peace on the earth, peace on the earth to the people who have God’s favor.
Amen, amen.

Fourth Sunday of Advent

This week the older girls lit the candles. They were the most worried about it, mostly because they were the most focused on people looking at them. They did well, though, and there were no accidents.

We rehearsed for the Christmas concert. Most of the children were there. Things went....not as bad as they might have! I think we'll be okay tonight.

Merry Christmas.

Third Sunday of Advent

Today my boys lit the candles. They're older: 9-12 year olds, so there was less worry. They did a very good job, and for the first time we had the timing down so they didn't come up the aisle too soon! One more week and candle stress will be done.

Second Sunday of Advent

The candle lighting went well today. I had two of the grade 2 girls lighting the candles. They made it up the aisle okay (although a bit early, so they had to stand and wait a bit). There was a bit of trouble lighting one of the candles, but they managed. They were excited and the trouble lighting the candle almost made them giggle. They fought it, though, and brought their candles back to me without breaking into laughter. Their faces were pretty red!

Advent is a past event: Christ has already come. It is a present event: He enters individuals and their lives. It is also a future event: He will come again.

The First Sunday of Advent

We lit the first Advent candle at church today. I'm supposed to find the children to do the lighting and oversee stuff. Today we had one of my 3 year olds lighting the candle. He did a great job, although he was too short to reach the candle; I had to pick him up so he could light it! Anyway, he made it all the way down the aisle without dropping the candle or stopping to stare at the flame.

And to commemorate the coming of Christ:

Too Much

Too much work.
Too much school.
Too many kids around.
Too many obligations.

Not enough time.
Not enough sleep.

It all threatens to overwhelm me.

But I keep clinging to the knowledge that God is God and He is sovereign and He is my strength and I cling to Him.

And it is enough.

A Story

Hey look: a new post, with actual words, and not on a Sunday!

Okay, this evening I was teaching my smallest student. She's about 4 1/2. We were working on making words out of syllables. I would give her the word broken into syllables, and she would say the word. For example, I would say "bas-ket" and she would say "basket!" She was always very happy when she got the word.

And then we tried hap-pi-ness.

She left off the first syllable.

At first I thought I misheard, since I was teaching 2 other students and was a bit distracted, so I turned back to her and tried again, emphasizing the first syllable: hap-pi-ness.

She again left of the first syllable.

Her eyes were very big when she said it. At the same time she giggled a bit and then shook her head and said "no" very softly. We were not supposed to be saying that word.

I finally had to change what I was saying to "happy-ness" so she could get it.

I'm glad she speaks very quietly so the two grade 3 boys at the table didn't hear her.

I really hope she doesn't tell her parents about this.

Christmas is Coming!

Yes, yes, it's still more than a month away. Whatever: it's coming soon! We're getting ready for the Christmas concert at church, there's snow on the ground, and Mum will be here in 31 days! It's time for Christmas music.

Enjoy!

Remembrance Day

7 Years

Seven years ago this Sunday we started Grace Reformed Baptist Church of Edmonton. We had found a couple conference rooms in a hotel and about 50 or so of us gathered for the first service. It was exciting and challenging and fun. Everyone played a role in doing "church stuff" and somehow we started a church.

Now...a lot has changed. We have upwards of 200 people on any given Sunday. There are still a lot of children. We meet in a school now and have our own space (although space is getting tight). This morning I was teaching Junior Church. I don't do that much now; I have my Sunday School class and have trained a group of other people to teach my wee ones. This week, however, the teacher needed me to fill in. The girl who was helping me was in my Junior Church class that first Sunday.

The people have changed. The children are all much older (but there are new ones). People have come and gone; some have died in the past few years, others have married, gone away to school, moved, or just disappeared. One family we lost through church discipline procedures; I know Pastor Lyle at least still prays for them.

We gained a new pastor, generally known here as our "young associate pastor." At the end of the year, Pastor Lyle, who was with us from the beginning, is retiring from full-time Christian ministry. I suppose I'll have to refer to James as the pastor then; he won't be the associate anymore.

They announced this week that we're also changing our name to "GraceLife Church" in the upcoming months. They want us to be defined by us, our people and our ministry, rather than our name; they don't want people to see "reformed" or "Baptist" and judge without listening to us. I spoke with one of the elders about it (they were around to hear any questions or concerns). He assured me that we are not becoming "seeker sensitive" and that everything about the church will remain the same. I knew that we weren't planning to change our doctrine or beliefs, but starting to think like a seeker sensitive church can be a very slippery slope. I was assured that the purpose was to keep people from judging us too quickly; this way, they'll have to visit the website and look around before deciding what we believe. We joked a bit later with James that he just wants people to work more (or at least think more) and he agreed; when someone said that people won't bother doing that, he pointed out that we don't really have room for more people, so it's all good! Once the elder addressed my concerns about whether we were moving in a dangerous direction, my main issue with the name change is that it's a change. I'm not a huge fan of change, but I know that and account for that in my response to changes.

So...it's been 7 years and a lot has changed and a lot has not changed. Even with my general dislike of change, I can see that the things that changed were okay, and the important stuff -- who we are, what we believe, what we teach -- isn't going to change.

Happy Reformation Day!

For your entertainment...

First, as seen on Biblical Christianity:



And then, my favourite scene from the older Martin Luther movie:



It's both inspiring and terrifying!

And finally, because all Reformation Day assemblies in my childhood ended with it:

Stuff

I know, I know. But I'm done the final paper, so I should find time to write again.

Work has been crazy, but I have hired another teacher and he starts training tomorrow. I still need one more, but this one at least can do math. I think I'll train him in reading and writing as well so I have a useful teacher. He can also do high school math and science, which I desperately needed. I have sent email to a couple other potential teachers, although I'm pretty sure one thinks we don't pay enough. The other was applying to other, full time jobs; if he gets one of those, he definitely won't work for me. Still, one is good.

My Sunday School class were all angelic today. I figure I have a week or two of good behaviour before the fear of serious discipline wears off!

Life will continue to be busy, but I will try to find time to write. I want to write. It just takes a lot of energy that I don't always have right now.

Sunday Notes

My boys from last week survived sitting in the adult classes this week. They had to take notes as well, which concerned one of them; he just didn't know how to take notes. What should he write? How do you take notes in Sunday School? (His mom told me all this later). He was advised to write down the passages that were mentioned and what was said about them. He was in the marriage class, so he learned to have a godly marriage! The other boy was in the Joshua class, which his dad was teaching this week. He had to behave! Anyway, they both took great notes and I told them that they could come back to class next week.

This afternoon I took a nap and then finished the rough draft of my essay. It's due in six days and then I will be done another class.

Church Notes

What a Sunday!

First the bad: my Sunday School class. You all know how much I love them and love teaching them, but they were not in a listening mood today and some of them were very squirmy and silly. I've started telling them that there are no more second chances; if they don't behave, they're out. This has settled them down a lot...until today. I think they didn't believe me. At the end of the class, they were doing worksheets. As they finished, I told them to quietly work on their memory work (Psalm 100 this month) or, if they didn't want to do that, to sit quietly. I was flexible enough to allow some  quiet talk, but 2 boys took advantage of this fact and got louder and louder to the point that they didn't hear me when I tried to get the class's attention again. After they finally stopped laughing and talking, I turned away for a quick moment and they started again. By then there were only a couple minutes left of class so I couldn't kick them out. Instead, I had them stay so we could "have a talk." I think they thought that they were going to get scolded and then it would be over, which in their minds translates into "getting away with it." Poor boys. I told them that since they waited until near the end of class to misbehave, I was not allowing them in next week. Instead, they could sit in the adult class, take notes, and show me the notes at the end of class if they wanted to return the following week. Oh, and they could explain to their parents why they were not attending my class. I know their parents. The boys will think twice about misbehaving next time.

Okay, the good: new books for the church library! Some of them are from a used bookstore trip. We had a credit there (since that's where we bring the books that have been donated to the library but that we don't want) so my friend and I went Friday. Our primary goal was to find some books for the kids, and we did very well in that regard! I think our total was about $90, and with their library discount and what we could use of our credit, we spent about $15. Since they were used book prices, we really got between 200 and 300 dollars worth of books! We picked up some Bible story books (after reading them all to check for accuracy and good writing) and some books that we wanted to fill in various series, as well as some that might appeal to the boys. It was fun and we got a pile of new books. Even better, though: we finally started spending our budget on new books. Brand new, from the store, never owned by anyone else books (can you tell this is a rarity in our library?). The guy who runs the bookstore attends our church, and he also gave us a discount even though we just missed Librarian's Day (he also put me on the email list so I'll know when future Librarian's Days occur). They are pretty and shiny and glossy! Some of them I've written about here: When People are Big and God is Small; The Most Misused Verses in the Bible; both of Dan Phillips' books. Others I should write about: Did I Kiss Marriage Good-Bye (which has nothing to do with I Kissed Dating Good-Bye); Exegetical Fallacies. We also got a couple for the kids and a biography of John Calvin. They're lovely books, and they all arrived today as well!

Now, the very good: You know I love my church family and I have a great pastor. Today was one of those extra-good sermons. I needed a rewind button, or the option to stop him (frequently) and ask him to say it again. I'm going to have to listen to it again (and maybe again). Go here and listen to the sermon from this week. Actually, listen to last week's sermon as well.

And that sums up my Sunday!

Short

Today was good.
I prepared my Sunday School lesson, watched old Astro Boy cartoons, and went to buy more books for the church library.
That's all I have.

Right Now

Right now I'm sitting in my apartment typing this while 2 of my girls are watching VeggieTales, Robin Good and His Not-So-Merry Men. Best lines: "never trust a rubber hippo" and "your face looks as long as a boring sermon." I like this version of Robin Hood because Robin Good fund raises from the rich to give to the poor and is very opposed to stealing. As much as I like the Robin Hood movies, I don't think he's a good role model.

The girls are actually over for the last of my discipleship classes. I've been teaching them about wisdom. Today they came over after church and we ordered pizza and now we're eating and watching the movie before we get to our session. Soon, though, the movie will end and I'll have one more chance to get some wisdom into their heads.

From Terry Pratchett

Nation is a slightly different Terry Pratchett novel in that it isn't fantasy; it takes place on Earth, although in an parallel universe, "a phenomenon known only to advanced physicists and anyone who has ever watched any episode of any SF series, anywhere" according to the Author's Note.

Some background: there is a tidal wave in the South Pacific which destroys Mau's home (an island); he is the only survivor of the Nation. The wave also brought a ship that crashed into the island; only Daphne survived. Mau and Daphne are in around 14 or so. Eventually other people arrive, refuges first, then the Raiders. The Raiders are cannibals. They have rules, though: first they talk with the people they want to raid. They prefer single combat to determine who wins, and if they lose, the Raiders go away.

This bit takes place after Daphne has been talking with one of the older Raiders:

"You are very clever," said the old man shyly. "I would like to eat your brains, one day."
For some reason the books of etiquette that Daphne's grandmother had forced on her didn't quite deal with this. Of course, silly people would say to babies, "You're so sweet I could gobble you all up!" but that sort of nonsense seemed less funny when it was said by a man in war paint who owned more than one skull. Daphne, cursed with good manners, settled for "It's very kind of you to say so."

Sunday Stuff

I taught my Sunday School class about worship today. I tried to remove any thoughts that worship=singing from their little heads. I don't know how successful I was. One of the questions on their worksheets was "True or false: worship always includes music." Only one student started to put down true, so I was a bit encouraged. Then they were supposed to write down their own thoughts about worship (or things from class that weren't in any of the other questions) and a lot of them wrote about singing hymns. Sigh. Some of them talked about praying and reading the Bible as well, so I guess there is some hope.

The boys all decided to sit together in Sunday School this morning. I tend to discourage it because they whisper and poke each other. I decided to allow it this week, but told them that if there was any talking or playing about or anything, they would be sent to sit with their parents and there would be no second chances today. One of them thought about it and decided that he would move and sit with the quieter people! The rest were actually pretty good.

My girls are a different matter. Of the 7 boys in my class, 6 of them are likely to be disruptive (although to varying degrees). Of the 5 girls, so far only 1 is likely to be disruptive and that's only when she is trying to make the boys behave. I try to keep her away from the boys for that reason. Of the other girls, 3 of them rarely talk, one is too new and sits with the girls (otherwise I could see her being a handful) and the last one is one of those responsible, well behaved children who know all the answers.

With the boys easily threatened and the girls generally good, this could be a pretty good year.

A Bit of a Book Review

I've been working on a book review for When People are Big and God is Small by Edward T. Welch. It isn't quite done (it's in the final editing stage). Still, since I don't have much else to say, I'm going to share parts of it with you.

          The book is split into two parts: how and why we fear others and how to overcome this fear. In the first section, Welch looks at our fears: that others will see us, reject us, and hurt us physically. He also writes about how the world wants us to fear others. He discusses the reality of sin-shame and victim-shame (which, while not involving sin on the part of the victim, can intensify pre-existing sin-shame) and how they lead us to try hiding from the others. He shows how peer pressure and low self-esteem are actually ways that we show that we fear others more than we fear God.  He then looks at the influence of the world and how its elevation of emotions and view of spirituality (that everyone is spiritual and all spirituality is valid) can influence us in our decision making and attempts to fit in with the world. Welch finally looks at how the influence of the world shows up even in our churches and in much “Christian” counseling (which is really worldly psychology with some Scripture mixed in).
           In the second section Welch shows us how to overcome our fears by fearing the Lord instead. To do this, we need to spend time in Scripture as well as prayer, for ourselves and each other. He also discusses the difference between our felt needs and our real needs: we have biological needs (food, water, shelter) and spiritual needs (forgiveness, salvation), but our psychological needs tend to be desires; it is this blurring between needs and desires that leads to many of our problems. He acknowledges that we do need others as we are not all given the same gifts and abilities, but maintains that our goal should be to love others more and to need them less. Finally, he looks to the end of Ecclesiastes to sum up the solution to our problem of fearing man: fear God and keep His commandments.
           Despite the few concerns towards the end of the book, overall Welch has written a good, solid, biblical rebuttal to the cult of self-esteem so prevalent in our world today. In When People are Big and God is Small, Welch has given us the Scriptural basis for understanding how we often view ourselves and God, and the solution to our underlying problem of fearing men. The book can be used as an individual or group study, for counseling others or for dealing with our own issues. It is based very solidly on Scripture that is, for the most part, used well. Each chapter also has a “For further thought” section that allows the reader to apply the information to his own life, using specific (and often pointed) questions. This book is an excellent resource for anyone who wants to move beyond the fear of man to embrace a proper fear of God. It is recommended reading for all believers who want to need others less and love others more.

Since you don't have the whole review, I should mention my concerns briefly. I think Welch reads too much into a couple Scripture passages and confuses another. Still, his points are valid and he is not distorting or misusing the truth.

Notes from Sunday School

Definition of Wisdom

A skilled and sensible approach to life, by God’s definition and standard, beginning with fear of the LORD, and always demonstrated in one’s behavior

Read Proverbs 1:20-33

Wisdom is not some elusive truth, hidden away on some quest. It shouts in the street (of course, so does folly)

There are always 2 choices: to follow wisdom or folly. Not following biblical wisdom automatically means following folly.

A final warning: Not all that’s called wisdom is true wisdom. Folly will often disguise itself as wisdom, but wisdom will never disguise itself as folly.

It Made Me Laugh

Okay, you have to go and read this:
Boys in the Kitchen

Be sure to check out the recipe for carrot sticks.

To Think About

J.I. Packer, speaking of being adopted into God's family:

"There you have absolute stability and security; the parent is entirely wise and good, and the child's position is permanently assured. The very concept of adoption is itself a proof and guarantee of the preservation of the saints, for only bad fathers throw their children out of the family, even under provocation; and God is not a bad father, but a good father."

from Knowing God

Sunday Stuff

This morning, for the first time since the start of summer, my small elf sat with me in church. She was somewhat giggly during the service, until near the end when I told her to stop and behave. Then she pouted for a while. I didn't mind. When she's pouting, she's not bothering me. Eventually she stops pouting.

After church I...

• arranged for a couple of my girls to come for discipleship sessions
• handed out candy to the kids without making them work hard for it at all this week
• heard what the potential choices were for this year's Bible study (a book by Bunyan or Edwards) and gave my opinion
• started helping organize the Bible study kick off gathering, gave up and left it to other people, and told them to send me details and I'd email the group
• assured one grade 8 girl that my decision to change the sleepover age groups (last year it was grades 4-6 for one group and junior/senior high for the other; this year it will be grades 4-8 and 9-12) was not the end of the world and that it was done to make the numbers more even and not to torment her
• fed her chocolate so she felt better about life (she can be a bit dramatic)
• set up the Sunday School plans with my other teacher (Sunday School starts next week)
• helped that teacher find a couple good missionary biographies (she's teaching about missionaries once a month)
• found some materials for someone who teaches "Christian ethics" at a school and wanted something that wasn't fluffy
• agreed to send her the Junior Church stuff as well for use with the little kids
• spoke with her about the Christmas concert; she will bring me some programs she has so I can see if they will work for us
• accepted some donations for the church library (which was my sole librarian job today; I left everything else up to the other librarian, who had also brought in some new (to us) books)
• spoke with one of the Junior Church music people about the changes we are making to the songs and learned that she had the same concerns

It was a very productive hour!

On That Same Note...

(This one comes after the one below.)

Trying to find God's will for you outside normal means, and waiting for a word from God, and wanting to feel God's presence at all times are like are like trying to smell the color nine.

On Hearing God

I believe I've posted on this before, but I'm still thinking about it.

Confession time:
I have never heard God speak to me.
I have never heard that "still, small voice" everyone is supposed to hear.
I have never had a dream or vision from God.
I have never "felt led" to do something.
When I make big decisions, I rarely have that perfect peace that proves that what I'm doing is God's will.

When I have to make a major decision...
I pray.
I talk to people who might have good advice or ideas or who might have experience.
I look at the options, weighing the pros and cons.
Then I do whatever seems to be the best decision.
Often I have second thoughts and I worry that I made the wrong decision and I pray more.
In the end, it all works out.
God is still in control of my life, even though I don't "feel" Him.

Here's the thing:
I don't know what "feeling led" feels like.
I just do stuff that I want to do.
Sometimes I just do stuff that needs to be done.

I think that "God told me to" or "I don't feel God leading me to" are just attempts to avoid responsibility and keep people from questioning your decisions.

I take responsibility for my choices. I choose what I do or don't do, and I don't blame God for my decisions.

I've stopped wondering if I'm missing something in my walk with God or if I'm not a good enough Christian because I don't hear His voice and all that stuff. I've finally realized that God has told me everything I need to know and has written it all down for me so I can read it whenever I want. What more can I ask for?

What I'm Learning

I'm preparing my discipleship plan for Worship and Wisdom class. Everything I'm reading, from Proverbs, Matthew, and James (and various other parts) only confirms one thing:

We only have 2 choices.

We either follow God or the world, as demonstrated in wisdom or folly.

We want more choices, right? Things that are sort-of okay, or not really wrong. It's not really God's wisdom, but we're certainly not following worldly folly either.

I'm sorry, people, but such a choice does not exist. Furthermore, we have to choose wisdom deliberately: it won't just happen. And every time we are not choosing wisdom, we are by default choosing folly.

Sometimes the hard part is knowing what wisdom is in a certain situation. I think, though, that it isn't always as tough as we think (or as we want it to be so that we might have an excuse for slacking a bit). It takes work, though, and time spent reading and learning Scripture and learning to know God more and more.

Oh My...

I don't have cable or satellite television at home, so whatever I watch comes form the internet. I have happily allowed this to limit my viewing. This week I'm staying at a hotel in Grande Prairie and dealing with limited internet access (it comes and goes), so I'm watching television again. It turns out that I haven't really been missing much.

It isn't all bad. I've watched some Jeopardy and a few dramas and episodes of The Big Bang Theory and that's been fun. Tonight, though, I was bored and decided to check out Toddlers and Tiaras. All I could think was, what is wrong with these people????? The children are so totally spoiled and you cannot convince me that they all want to be in the pageants. Some of them are not quite 2 years old. And the moms...they're all paranoid and scary. You can tell that it's all about them and how their daughter's win (or loss) reflects on them. They need a life of their own so they can let the children be children. Speaking of which...who dresses a 5 year old up as Sandy from the end of Grease, complete with big hair and a cigarette? Her mom spent a lot of time trying to justify it, like she was really trying to convince herself that it was okay. The other little girls weren't much better. It actually made me very sad and I wanted to bring them all home and let them be children.

I think I had better stop watching most television again. It upsets me too much.

Busy, Busy

Work is busy, but only for another week or so and then the kids go back to school.

School is busy, although it's a bit lighter than other years. There's enough to keep me busy but not enough to overwhelm me.

So...since life seems to be manageable starting in September, I've gone and added to it! Because a break would be a bad thing, right?

This year I'm writing my own Sunday School material. It's based on my Worship and Wisdom class so it's not entirely original. Still, it will take some work to turn 5 days of school into 30 lessons. I'm contemplating making worksheets to take home. The advantage is that they will have something to bring home and remember what I taught. The disadvantage is that it means more work for me!

I also made the mistake of admitting to the elder that I have time to read now since I don't have any reading for school. He asked me to write a book review for one of the books I recently read and then handed me another book to read and review again.

The problem is that I most enjoy the Sunday School and book review work, which means that the only stuff I could give up is the stuff I most want to keep!

On the plus side, I can share some of the book review material here and save me the trouble of thinking up original stuff every week.

A Song from this Morning

I've been spending all month in Junior Church making sure the teachers are trained and ready to go for the fall. This is what I've been singing lately...


 

The Power of Books

When I was a child I couldn't always distinguish between fiction and non-fiction. I understood that fairy tales were not true, as well as anything with fairies, magic, imaginary countries, or talking animals. My problem was with human characters in at least somewhat realistic situations and real places. Sometimes I knew they were fiction and other times I though they might be real.

For example: Anne of Green Gables. For years, I though Anne had been a real person. This belief was helped by two facts. First, I read the book when I was 7 and at that age the difference between reality and fantasy is a bit fuzzy for a lot of children (side note: In one book at work they were supposed to be finding the word that would make the sentence fantasy. The choices were ant and elf. One small child was confused because they were both real.). Second, I actually visited Green Gables in Prince Edward Island. Listen: if you want children to understand about fiction and novels, do NOT bring them to the home of their favorite story book heroes! I don't know when I knew that Anne was imaginary. I think it was one of those things that I gradually grew to understand. It wasn't really a big deal (but some part of me still wants her to be real).

It probably didn't help that I read a lot of non-fiction at the time. One of my favorite books when I was growing up was Karen by Marie Killilea. Karen is a real person and I knew that, so it might count for some of the confusion (side note: I still love Karen and the sequel With Love from Karen and I highly recommend them). I also read books on my parents' shelves in the living room. As I recall, there were books about different countries and some picture encyclopedias of some sort. I loved reading them.

And that brings me to the point. Among those books on my parents' shelves was a book of short stories. I don't remember the title or the author or any of the stories except one. There was (I think) a police chief and a detective of some sort down in South America or somewhere (obviously some of the details have become a bit fuzzy over the years). There were dead people who had been stripped of all their flesh: just skeletons left in the houses...or something like that. This much I know for sure: they finally determined that it was done by a swarm of giant ants who marched through houses (and possibly villages) and devoured anything and anyone they could. No one could stop them and they were heading north.

That lack of distinction between fiction and non-fiction,combined with a vague understanding of geography that consisted of knowing only that we lived in the north, left me very, very concerned about the giant ants. They were heading in our direction and no one was talking about it. Why weren't we warned about the coming ants?

I don't recall asking anyone about it and I think it mostly left my mind after a while. Well, it never quite left: I do remember wondering about it sometimes but no one else seemed worried. I think it joined the list of things that might happen but probably not.

Okay...I'm all grown up now and I understand the difference between fiction and non-fiction. I know that there is no swarm of ants headed our way. I also understand geography better and know that they would never make it here anyway. Still...when I see one of those really big ants, I stay out of his way just in case he is preparing his attack and has an army just out of sight.

And that, people, is the power of books.

When and Where

I've been thinking lately about how to talk with people when I disagree with them or wonder if they have thought things through fully. I'm not talking about little things, but the big stuff that involves God and the Bible: the important stuff. There's a lot of stuff that I'm willing to leave alone, mostly involving politics, because people get too emotional and angry. Of course, that's how they are when God is involved as well, which is why I usually keep silent, but now I'm not sure if I should, or when I should speak up.

This is what experience has shown me: things like Facebook are likely not the best place for these discussions. I've read things that people have posted and asked questions to clarify or expressed a different opinion, and generally people ignore what I've said. It seems that they don't want to engage in any type of discussion; they want to express their opinion and that's it. And I'm okay with that; I've opened the door for further conversation, and if they don't want to, that's their choice. Other times, people go straight to defensive and won't listen (or read, as the case may be) or go straight to the "agree to disagree" conversation closer. In the end, I've concluded that most people on Facebook do not want to discuss or think more about what they've posted (although there are some exceptions).

Twitter...well, I don't even have Twitter and I really don't understand how people actually have debates via Twitter. It's strange!

Which brings me to blogs. I read a variety of blogs and the comment sections can get rather...interesting. Some bloggers have measures in place to moderate the comments while others let anything go. The later tend to disintegrate into people refusing to listen to anyone who disagrees and trying to take over the comments so no one can respond. Too many bloggers (although of blogs that I rarely read) either remove comments that disagree or get defensive. Here's my opinion: unlike Facebook, which is intended for short comments and is semi-private, blogs are out there for the world to read. If you're going to blog, you need to accept that people might disagree with you and either be prepared to discuss (or redirect or refuse to allow for hostile takeovers when commenters will not listen or act with some respect) or close the comment section.

So...sometimes it's worth trying to engage people in blog comment sections, and sometimes it isn't.

Which brings me to this blog. Is it the right time and place for me to talk about ideas and such that people have that I think are incorrect or not thought through well? I really don't know. I don't know if I have the time to discuss things if there are disagreeing comments. I don't know if I have the time to do the research to make sure my position is correct. I don't know what my purpose would be in bringing up more controversial topics: to get attention? to help set the record straight? to show a different way of looking at things? And internet discussion is tough because of the time between comments (it isn't a conversation in the traditional sense of the word) an the potential for misunderstanding.

I guess what it comes down to is evaluating my own motives and deciding if the internet is the right place to discuss things and if I want to get away from "safe" blogging.

I don't have any answers, just questions. I'll take any advice you might have on this one, though.

Jesus, Joy of the Highest Heaven

Yes, I know that it's a Christmas carol. I really like it, though, so I'm sharing it with you.

Misused Bible Verses

Today, for your reading enjoyment...a book review!
I picked up The Most Misused Verses in the Bible by Eric J. Bargerhuff when I was at Masters last month. I read most of it on the trip home. It's an easy read with sound teaching and I enjoyed it. It's subtitled "Surprising Ways God's Word is Misunderstood" although I didn't find many surprises in it. Most of the verses I'd heard misused (and some I have misused myself in the past), although there were a couple unexpected verses.
Bargerhuff looks at 17 different verses (or passages) that are misused. I am not going to go through them all, although I will list the references for you here:

• “Judge Not” - Matthew 7:1
• “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you” - Jeremiah 29:11-13
• “Where two or three are gathered” - Matthew 18:20
• “Ask for anything in My name” - John 14:13-14
• “All things work together for good” - Romans 8:28
• “If My people who are called by My name” - 2 Chronicles 7:14
• “Jesus as the firstborn of all creation” - Colossians 1:15
• “Money is the root of all evil” - 1 Timothy 6:10
• “No more than you can handle” - 1 Corinthians 10:13
• “Train up a child” - Proverbs 22:6
• “I can do all things through Christ” - Philippians 4:13
• “An eye for an eye” - Exodus 21:23-25
• “Prayer offered in faith” - James 5:15
• “Repent and be baptized” - Acts 2:38
• “Guard your heart” - Proverbs 4:23
• “Where there is no vision” - Proverbs 29:18
• “Lifting up the name of Jesus” - John 12:32

Just some notes about it.
First, I had never heard Proverbs 4:23 misused. It seems that it's used by people to keep from getting close to others. I also did not know that John 12:32 (which is about Jesus being lifted up on the cross) was the basis for lifting up the name of Jesus. Those were the ones that surprised me.

Second, he doesn't quite make it on Proverbs 22:6. He's quite right that proverbs are principles, not promises. This should at least comfort people who do everything right and still get rebellious children. At the same time, he misses what the verse is really saying. It's more of a warning: if you start a child out in the way he wants to go, he will never, ever turn from it. (Read God's Wisdom in Proverbs, appendix 3, by Dan Phillips, for the full explanation).

Third, Bargerhuff is absolutely correct in his emphasis on context. So many of these verses wouldn't be misused if people refrained from pulling them from the Bible and ignoring their immediate context. You can't do that. You have to read the Bible as a whole. That is why I encourage people to have their Bibles open in church and when reading Christian books to double check what is being said. And you need to know your Bible.

Overall: I think this is an excellent book and a very useful reference tool. It doesn't hurt to double check your own favourite verses as well.

What It Isn't

I'm still sorting out thoughts and emotions here. I thought I'd try figuring out what's happening by looking at it backwards.

What I'm dealing with is not...

A new way of "experiencing" God that has moved me to a new level beyond all the "regular" Christians. And trust me...I haven't reached some amazing level where I'm suddenly sinless!

A sudden epiphany that will fade in a couple days and not leave me changed (I hope...but already I'm finding some changes in how I'm thinking and reacting).

Based only on emotion. It's a combination of understanding and emotion...but being me, the emotion is harder to deal with, so it comes up more frequently.

Okay, that's all I have for today.

Trying For Words

The past couple weeks have been a time of intense emotion for me. Ever since my Worship and Wisdom class, I've been trying to deal with thoughts and emotions that are too big for me to grasp. I haven't spoken much about it before now because I still don't really know that words. In fact, it was only yesterday that I even tried to find the words. I'm still not really sure.

This is what I know: the more I've been studying and learning about God and who He is (as Father, Son, and  Holy Spirit, sometimes together and sometimes as individuals), the greater God has been for me. I've seen glimpses of His glory, of how far above me He is, but it's always been parts of Him. The rest I've been able to keep sort of manageable.

Not anymore. Suddenly I can't keep God nice and manageable; He's too much, too great, too glorious. You know why the Bible says to fear the Lord? Because when you actually see how great He is and how tiny you are, fear is a proper response. This is God and we cannot control Him (and for someone with control issues you can imagine how well I'm dealing with this). No wonder Isaiah was undone and John fell down as if dead. I'm having enough trouble without having to see God.

And yet, at the same time, it's very, very wonderful and there isn't enough of me to worship God the way He deserves. I don't even know how to worship Him. I don't know how to respond.

That's where I'm at right now. I'm going to try working out my thoughts and feelings over the next however long it takes. Hopefully it will make some sense.

No Words Today

Dealing with Myself

Sometimes I look at myself and I don't like what I see. I can be very demanding and pushy and insist that people see things my way right now. I conveniently ignore the fact that it might have taken me weeks or months to understand something; if I get it, so should everyone else, right? So why can't we just do things my way since of course I know best.

There's an issue at church with my junior church kids that needs to be sorted out (it has to do with music and stuff; the details aren't important here). I'm pretty sure that I'm right in what I want, but at the same time I might not be going about things the best way. I want to pound my view into their heads so that they see things the way I do (I also have some control issues).

Tonight I finally did the right thing. I acknowledged that I might not deal with this the best way and I asked for help. At the very least, I said, I need someone to bring some balance so I don't go too far in an attempt to rectify the situation, and someone to keep me from saying things that I may need to repent for later. I think that, with help, things will go more smoothly.

Still, it was not nice looking so clearly at myself. I am so far from where I should be.

What I've Been Singing This Week

Random Stuff

Today was not a bad day at work, especially given that it was my first day back after a week away.
I miss school. I should be doing homework.
Some car in my parking lot was being towed as I returned home this evening.
Today my desk calendar told me how to remove a tick.
My computer is way, way faster now that the IT guy cleaned it up.
I have a book that I bought for a friend last month. I should mail it soon.
I'm averaging around 7 books a month this year, not counting rereading the Little House books and some others quick reads.
I have a huge stack of books waiting to be read.
I should probably be doing the ironing as long as I'm not doing homework.
I pruned my plant at work today. It was trying to take over my office, but was also dying at the top in some places. It looks better now.
This is superhero week at work.
I also have a pile of junior church lessons to write.
And Sunday School lessons to set up.
I should get off the computer and get to work.
Of course, all the work is on the computer, so I can't really get off the computer.
I love Canada because....

My Computer

My laptop has been giving me issues for some time now. It crashes now and then and it takes forever to start up. In fact, it's been slow at starting up from the beginning and I'm inclined to blame the friend who helped me get it started. Something he put in from the start messed things up.

Anyway...yesterday was very bad. At the end of classes, when I shut it down, it crashed. Later in the evening I tried turning it on. It got into a "scanning all systems" loop that found errors and then found them again...eventually it started, though. I left it on last night and it ran the virus scan. This morning I found that somehow I had acquired 4 "issues" so I hit the "quarantine" button. The computer crashed again. It gave me a lot of troubles starting up again, and eventually I unplugged it to bring it with me to breakfast. At breakfast, after I tried a couple more times, it eventually started up again. I packed it up (without turning it off) and brought it to the classroom so I could check if the "issues" had been dealt with. By the time I got to the classroom, the battery had died and I had to start it up again. It refused; all I got was a message that the start-up or something was corrupted or not there and the computer could not start.

This was a bit of a problem since at the end of each morning class we have time to type up our notes. The professor was very understanding and at note-typing he allowed me to leave to see if IT could do anything. This was about 11:30 (class ends at 12:30). I finally found the computer services building only to learn that they open at 1:00. Yeah. I used my free time to get some paperwork done at the international student office and then check email and such in the library. Lunch was at 12:30 and at 12:55 I was back looking for an IT guy.

He was a very nice guy who listened to me, looked at my computer, and told me that he didn't know how much he could do but he would try. I understood that it was really broken and old and needed to be replaced, but I only needed it to last a few more days! In the end he was able to get past the "I will not start" page (by pressing buttons and making it beep loudly and in different tones). Then he explained that all he could do was reformat my hard drive (I think that's the right term) and that everything would go back to the original settings. Translations: I would lose everything, but I could use the computer again.

Because of the issues I'd been having, I had backed up most of my church and school notes (as well as several other, random files) onto a separate storage device not long before I left for school. Last night I had also emailed myself most of the notes I had taken this week and I knew that I could get the rest from someone, so I told him to go ahead and do it. He checked with me twice, and again when the computer wanted him to confirm that this was the desired action.

I had to get to class before it was done so I came back during our first break (because they close before we finish classes, and I have wonderful professors; when I explained that I had to go to IT for my computer and might be a couple minutes late getting back, the prof was totally okay with it and just talked with the class until I returned). The IT guy was downloading an anti-virus for me (because of course I lost that too) so that I could get wireless access (the system won't let you in without an approved anti-virus).

And now my computer works again. I'm missing some stuff and I had to download Open Office since I lost Windows, but that's fine. The best part is, whatever was slowing down my computer is also gone! Now I no longer have the world's slowest laptop, so I figure I'll just be thankful for that and the IT guy!

Research

Sometimes I ask questions about Scripture that don't have easy answers. I often get the response, "Well, we can't really know for sure, so why bother?" The attitude is that there are some questions that we should just leave alone and not take the time to ponder.

A lot of the time I don't ask questions now because no one else seems interested in the things that interest me and no one else wants to think about them. I still want to research and learn and understand as much as I can  but so many people try to convince me to let things go.

Today this idea came up in class, along with a reason for trying.There are so many things that we don’t understand and maybe we never will, but as we search for answers we learn to know God more and learn other things that we had never thought about. The more we look, the more we understand about God and His Word and often about ourselves.


Research is good. Learning is fun. I think that I'll keep looking for answers even if no one else cares to come along for the ride.

School!

I love being a student! Today was the first day of classes for the summer and already I think the week will be too short.

Details....in the morning I have Worship and Wisdom. There are 9 people registered for the class: 6 guys and 3 girls (and 2 extra guys: one is here to help his brother-in-law, who is disabled and in a wheelchair; the other is just sitting in for at least some of the classes). It's an amazing class and in 4 hours we were given a lot to think about! Dr. Harris gives us only one break, but lets us go 15 minutes early if we want. The class runs from 8:30-12:30. At 11:30 we wrap up and then break into smaller groups for prayer. After that, we type up our notes (he wants us to take notes on paper first, then type them up, to help our retention). There won't be a exam since he just wants us to have the knowledge where we can access it, not necessarily memorize it.

In the afternoon I have Life, Ministry, and Theology of Paul with Dr. Wong. Here we have 6 guys and 2 girls. Dr. Wong spent much of today explaining the other assignments and making sure we were on track. He also gave us the exam questions (I don't think he takes exams very seriously). He also told us that if we listen and take good notes, then we can do well on the exam; after all, we're telling him what he taught us and he won't give himself a poor mark!

Right now I'm so tired!

In Honour of Canada Day

The Hunger Wars

This is my week between finishing pre-session work (yay!) and heading off to school. I consider it a "free reading week" meaning that there's nothing to research and I don't feel any obligation to learn anything. It's also the busiest week of the year at work, so I don't really have the extra energy for deep and insightful anyway. All of that to say...I finally had time to read The Hunger Games.

Before I give you my take on the book, let me remind you: I only read The Hunger Games, not the other books in the series. I plan to read them, but I borrowed the first one from one of my teachers, so that's all I have right now. Also, I do not plan to watch the movie. To do justice to the book, it will have to be very violent and I don't want to watch children killing children.

Some people have said that it's the most wonderful book ever, and others hate it. I don't fall into either camp. (Side note: What is with people and their extremes? Why label everything "the best" or "the worst"? How do they even decide?) It's not the best book ever written, but it's a good book. I enjoyed the story. It did seem rather predictable in parts, but I'm reading it as an adult who has read a lot of fiction; I think most children won't be as likely to see things coming (although if they realize that there are 2 more books, they might figure out who has to win the games). Even then, there were parts that surprised me not so much in what happened but in how it happened. It's well written, the characters are fairly well developed (hopefully more of the supporting characters are developed further in the other books) and the story makes sense: stuff happens for a reason. I liked it. It's pretty classic underdog literature.

This is what I thought about as I read it: The games take place in a future North America. There is the capitol region (around the Rockies) and the 12 districts (who have to supply a boy and a girl for the games every year and then act like they're enjoying it all, as opposed to those in the capitol who don't have to provide children and actually do enjoy it all). It's punishment for the rebellion of the districts, helps keep people in line, and provides extra food for the winners and their district (many of whom are always underfed, especially those furthest from the capitol...like the main character, from district 12). This has been going on for seventy-four years. And it seems that no one has ever tried to stop it, no one has done anything about the poverty and starvation in the poorer districts, no one has protested the entertainment of making children kill children.

Yes, I get that it's just a book and it's fiction. I also get that maybe people have tried to change things and failed (there are faint hints of potential rebellion in the first book) and this will come up more in the other books (actually, I understand that this will happen in the third book at least). It just seemed very sad that someone could imagine a future North America where no one cared enough to do anything.

Aside from that: it's a good book, and I have no issues with my nieces and nephews reading it.

New Creation

If you are fruitful and you are connected with the Father, and part of new creation, you will never fit back in original creation.

We don't belong to this world. We don't fit in. We can never fit in.

It's just the way it is.

We belong in the house of the Lord forever.

Right now: we belong with God's family...in the Lord's house, with the Lord's people.

One day: we will be with the Lord.

Fantasy

This year I've been reading a lot (I know, no big surprise, right?). There are a smattering of different authors and genres, but 2 stand out. I think this year will be my year of biographies and fantasy. It's an interesting combination, isn't it: real life and pure fiction. They seem to balance each other nicely. The biographies I've spoken of frequently (and will write more about as I read more), so today is for the fantasy.

What I've been reading is a lot of Terry Pratchett. I started reading his books a year or so ago (I don't really remember when I started). One of my teachers had borrowed Thud from a mutual friend and was reading it at work. I took it away; the official reason was to keep him focused on work but really so that I'd have something to read. The teacher wasn't much interested in the book (it wasn't his brand of humor) so he didn't object much. I loved it. It made me laugh from the start. When I finished, I believe I lent it to another friend, who also loved it (just so you know: it did eventually make it back to its owner).

If you like British humor and fantasy (or even just British humor) you should really try Terry Pratchett.

Anyway...I read one or two of his books over the course of the following months, but I was reading a lot of other stuff as well. I didn't really get into Pratchett until this year. I've been reading them at a rate of 1 or so a month (borrowing them from a friend (who borrowed them from a friend) or the library). They take place on Discworld, a flat, round world that is carried on the backs of 4 elephants who stand on a giant turtle. There are witches, wizards, heroes (who usually aren't much use), trolls, dwarfs (and Captain Carrot of the Night Watch, who was raised as a dwarf and was fully grown before they told him that he was a human), and an assortment of other people and beings. Oh, and we can't forget DEATH, who shows up frequently. He once adopted a daughter, then got an apprentice who eventually married the daughter. Now DEATH has a granddaughter who inherited many of her grandfather's abilities.

And yet...it's remarkably like here (pre-industrial revolution, which is a much better setting for fantasy). Just take all the weirdness of life and people, and magnify it, make metaphors literal, and bring things to their natural conclusion, exaggerate everything, and you'll get close to Discworld. They deal with the same issues we do (hence the frequent appearance of DEATH), only in their own way (it helps that most crime is very organized, with guilds and everything). 

Yes, it's pure escape literature. When I'm reading Terry Pratchett I can't worry about what's happening at work or the school assignments looming before me or the future or anything. I can just relax and laugh.

One word of advice: if you insist on reading Terry Pratchett in public, be prepared for the looks (and slight edging away) from people when you start to laugh suddenly.

This and That

Sunday School is winding down; there's only one week left. This week we reviewed the past year; next week we'll do a quick review of the Reformation lessons, have a bit of an end-of-year celebration, and finish making welcome signs for the church. Then we're done! I've really enjoyed my kids this year. I'm also really ready for a break.

The summer will be busy, though, with Junior Church responsibilities. I have a couple new teachers to replace the teachers who are changing roles (one will just be our music person; another couple is taking over one of the Sunday School classes to give those teachers a break). I've also recruited a lot of the Junior/Senior high class either as teachers or helpers. This summer will be all about training. We had a short session today so everyone could learn (or be reminded of) what Junior Church is all about and I'll do on-going training with individual teachers over the summer so we're ready to go in the fall. I also need to find time to have a Sunday School meeting to make sure everyone is ready for that.

Work has been up and down. It hasn't been bad (for the most part), just...work.

School work...well, I'm behind on the major pre-session assignment, and it will take some steady work and focus to get it done on time. There are a couple other things to get done as well.

Over all...I don't know. I'd like more sleep, less work...wouldn't we all! There are days when I think that everyone wants something from me and I don't have anything left to give. On the other hand...I love what I do; I just wish things were more balanced instead of everything at once!

I have many, many things I want to write about. I'll try to get some of them (one of them?) out this week.

What I'm Thankful for Today

1. My Sunday School class. They're usually bright, funny, and great to be around (and I say this after kicking one of them out today...but the rest were angels after that)!
2. My home. It's small, but it fits me nicely. It's warm, comfortable, and full of books.
3. The 7 boxes of books that have been donated to the church library over the past 2 Sundays.
4. The 2 new bookcases that we have in the church library! They're on wheels, so we can move them out of the way if we need to when the library is closed.
5. The weather has been wonderful lately.
6. Being surrounded by books.
7. Friends
8. Family (I can see nicely framed pictures of my sister's babies from where I'm sitting).
9. Value Village, where I found the frames for the pictures of the babies.
10. My church family
11. The 2 people who are interested in teaching Junior Church as well as the current teachers. It looks like I may have enough people to staff Junior Church and Sunday School in the fall and to give a couple teachers a break.
12. Spring. Everything is green and alive and there are flowers and it's all so lovely!

What I'm reading

I'm reading more biographies (the Christian Heroes Then and Now series) and enjoying every word of them. The latest have been Gladys Aylward and Brother Andrew. Their lives were amazing. I've read about Brother Andrew before (God's Smuggler...I've read it several times) but not much about Gladys Aylward. The stories all tend to concentrate around her struggles to get to China (the mission agency turned her down, she went alone, and she travelled by train across Russia in the winter) and the journey with the children across the mountains to safety during WWII. It's all exciting stuff, but there was a lot more to her life that I'd like to read about that this book mostly only touches on.

I'm also reading some Terry Pratchett novels for fun and enjoying them just a lot. They're just fun to read and great if you like British humour.

For school I'm reading A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23. It's a really, really good book and I'd recommend it to anyone. It's pretty easy reading, the parts about being a shepherd are very interesting to read, and how Christ is our Shepherd is laid out nicely and is very encouraging to read.

The rest of my reading has to do with bits of commentaries and Bible surveys and the like as I work on the major school assignment.

Rowland Bingham

I'm still reading a lot of missionary biographies (primarily from the "Christian Heroes Then and Now" series, which I highly recommend). The one I just finished was about Rowland Bingham. I had never heard of him, so I was curious about what he had done.

When Rowland Bingham was 20, he wanted to go to the Sudan to be a missionary. He joined another young man who was in England, looking for a mission board to sponsor him; they were joined by a third young man. No one would send them to the Sudan. Africa was "the white man's graveyard" even for those who stayed on the coast; anyone who went inland was going to die. Anyone who had tried had either died or been brought home seriously ill.

The young men were determined to go anyway. They formed their own mission organization, Sudan Interior Missions (SIM) and went to Africa. Rowland became ill and stayed near the coast to send supplies as needed and the other two men went into the interior. Both of the young men died before reaching their destination. Rowland went back to England and then home to Canada.

So it seemed that everyone was right: there was no way to evangelize the interior of Africa, no way to get to the Sudan, and trying would result in certain death. But Rowland Bingham did not give up. He raised money, he recruited people to go, and he tried again. This time he stayed in Canada to oversee things and other men went. They eventually turned back because it seemed impossible. Rowland didn't give up. More men volunteered and were sent to learn the language and the culture and then go to the Sudan. This time they made it. Still, many people died bringing the gospel to the Sudan and the interior of Africa. And yet still more people volunteered.

By the time SIM reached its 50th anniversary, there were 350 missionaries from around the world serving with them in Africa. There were thousands of believers in the Sudan, in Nigeria and Ethiopia, who would not have heard the gospel if Rowland and the later missionaries had given up because it was too hard.

Today, more than 100 years later, SIM has changed some. Different groups joined together under the name SIM (and in fact the name has changed a couple times although they kept the acronym) as the mission spread; there are now more than 1600 missionaries serving in more than 50 countries, evangelizing, ministering, equipping, and discipling.

Sleepover Weekend

This was a sleepover weekend. My Sunday School girls were over Friday night and the junior/senior high girls were over Sunday night (actually, it's Monday morning as I type and they are still getting picked up (side note; the parents are great about picking up the girls by 11:00)). It was a good weekend (thanks to some good naps). The younger group only had 3 girls and they were pretty low key and asleep by 11:30. The older group had 8 girls (a smaller group than last time; no one had to sleep under the dining room table or in the entryway).

It was a quieter sleepover in many ways. We've started doing crafts at sleepovers; the girls enjoy them and it keeps them more settled. Last night included some rock animals, painting, and a lot of friendship bracelets. We did watch some movies: RV and The Princess Diaries. Later, when they were starting to fade but wanted another movie, we put on The Sound of Music; by intermission they were almost all asleep so I turned it off.

When they decided to start talking about boys I took control. It actually started with them talking about what they would do if they had a baby when they were teens: raise it or give it up for adoption (which actually came from one of them mentioning that her cousin, who had a baby at 17, was pregnant again). From there we moved to how to avoid teen pregnancy (I had to convince them that "only date nice Christian boys" was not a guarantee). They I steered them to what they should be looking for in a potential husband and then to what they needed to be as well. We talked about fear of the Lord, wisdom, discernment, and integrity as well as the negatives: not abusive, not quarrelsome, not a gossip. There was a lot more as well. (I relied on God's Wisdom in Proverbs as a guide because there was no way I'd remember everything on my own and I wanted them to think about this Biblically and the Proverbs book conveniently provides Scripture references). Anyway, it was a really good talk, one that I plan to repeat as often as possible to keep them thinking properly about relationships (and not just dating; we talked about what these characteristics had to do with  being a good friend and child as well).

This morning they cleaned up (and they are very good about doing most of the tidying up; there was only a bit left for me, plus things like taking down the garbage and then vacuuming). Then, after breakfast, we watched Tim Hawkins and they all went home (they're all gone now). One mom brought me coffee from Timmies, so I'm happy. The only thing left to decide is whether I should vacuum before or after nap time!

Definitions

I had a grade 1 student in this week. We were doing expressive vocabulary (I give him a word, he gives me the definition). Here are 2 of his answers...

A sheriff is like a cowboy and says "There's only room for one sheriff in this town." While he was explaining, he stood up in a proper cowboy stance: bow-legged, swaggering a bit, with his hands in place to draw his six-shooters.

Later: A janitor is the mayor of the United States.

No one can quite figure out that one.

A Rough Week

Last Sunday morning the phone rang. My phone rarely rings at 8:30 am since everyone in my world knows that at that time I'm either gone, getting ready to go, or asleep. It was my sister, calling to tell me that my Uncle John  (my mum's brother) had been found dead the night before. He was at home, he lives alone, he's retired, and the neighbours had not seen him for a few days and called the police. He was wearing his jacked and the dog had his collar on and they were by the door. They figured that he had been dead for 2-4 days before he was found and the autopsy showed that it was a heart attack.

Most of this came out over the course of the week. All we knew last Sunday is that he was dead, and had been dead for some days before he was found. That's all I knew as I left for church and tried to push it out of my mind so I could concentrate on my Sunday School class and then the babies in Junior Church. It would come back to strike me at odd moments during the morning and I would push it away until I could think about it.

My uncle and I were not terribly close, although we loved each other. He lived in Ottawa and we exchanged the occasional email (he would send pictures of the dog) and we'd have dinner together whenever he was in town. I wish now that I'd made more effort to stay in touch; I'm thinking about visiting my mum's other brother and his family sooner rather than later (I've been planning to visit "some time" for a long time now). I miss my uncle even though I hadn't seen him for several years now and it feels strange to miss someone I would otherwise only think about occasionally. It's strange, those family ties, and how they can fray without breaking and how much it hurts when they do break.

And added to that is knowing that he died alone and wasn't found right away. I live alone and I will tell you the truth: I've always wondered what will happen if I die, how long it will take for people to notice, if I will die alone. It's the one part of living alone that I really, really hate. And I know, logically, that between work and church and other stuff, someone will notice that I'm not around. I also know that when I'm dead, I will be with God and it won't matter to me if no one finds my body.

So it's been an emotional week.

Update

Life is crazy (that's my excuse for the once-a-week posting)! It really has been a wild week at work with a couple very, very long days. I've also been doing a pile of homework which will go on nonstop until June 28th; then I will have a week off, a week of school, and then more work until October 27th. I may post more regularly after that!

Work hasn't been all bad. We're a franchise, so sometimes corporate comes to make sure we're doing things properly. I'm pleased to announce that my centre pulled off a 97%, so no worries about us being shut down! I also have some ideas about how to do some things better or more efficiently (the corporate lady who came to check was really nice and willing to answer questions). We also had a sale; the goal for each centre is 20% and I exceeded that. It means that my boss is happy with me, I'm happy with me, and my students are learning.

It hasn't been all work, either. Friday evening I had my Sunday School boys over for Lego, pizza, and a movie. We watched Courageous and talked a bit about responsibility, being men, and how if they grow up to be bad dads they'll have to deal with me. We also laughed a lot (mostly at each other). It was a fun evening and I'm glad I had them over. Usually I have the girls or the smaller children and my boys were starting to feel left out.

Today I taught Sunday School and Junior Church (a small class this week; there were only about 11 of them) and then I came home for a nap!

That's about it. Next week seems a bit quieter at work, but still insanely busy with homework. I'll try to find time to write!

From the Kids

Today I have a round-up of things my students have been saying:

Unicycle....is that a cycle ridden by a unicorn?

Okay, I've wroten "intelligent" 5 times. Now what?

The assignment was to recognize true and false generalizations. We got to "some weeks have fewer than 7 days." It sparked this little conversation...
Student: When it's leap year there's a week with only 6 days.
Me: A week always has 7 days. We don't skip one for leap year or not leap year. If the 28th is Friday, than Saturday is either the 29th or March first.
Student: But doesn't leap year mean that you skip a day?
Me: Um...no. Leap year means that there's another day in February but the week stays the same.
Student: Oh. I thought they called it leap year because you leap over a day.

I Know, I Know!

I want to speak to myself like I speak to my students: Just put words on paper! Write something! Although it's more "words on the screen" and "type something" but you get the point. I really, really mean to write, but then life gets in the way and the screen stays blank. I have about one more week of insane craziness and then it drops down to normal craziness so maybe I'll find more time then.

In the meantime....here's a story about how mean I am to my Sunday School class. Today they were very disruptive and not listening well and talking a lot. They are rarely like that for me, but my assistant was teaching (they were doing workbooks today; usually she takes them those Sundays). The thing is, she is too gentle with them and doesn't come down on them when the start to be disruptive, and they take "gentle" to mean "permission" and act up more. I find it very hard to teach and very disrespectful to the teacher and the other students and don't tolerate it.

At the end of the class I always take over to wrap things up. This time I stepped in a bit earlier and had them all sit up, put everything on the table, fold their hands properly on the table and listen. It worked fairly well for the last few minutes of the lesson. Then I let them have it. I pointed out that the lesson should have taken about 30 minutes and they took almost an hour because they weren't listening. They know proper Sunday School behaviour and I expect them to show it. Furthermore, if I ever witness such behaviour again, I will send them all out of Sunday School and cancel class for a week. They can sit in the adult class with their parents and take notes about that class. If their notes are good enough, I'll let them back into class the following week.

They were very, very quiet. Their eyes were very, very big.

I don't anticipate any problems next week.

He Is Risen!

Happy Stuff

Here's what's making me happy this week....

Thursday evenings I have dinner with friends before Bible study. I sometimes check out the week's menus on her fridge, and I've noticed that sometimes they have popcorn and milkshakes for supper but never when I'm there. This week she gave in to my requests and had popcorn and milkshakes (chocolate raspberry milkshakes).

Yesterday I went to visit other friends. They have 4 children. The oldest had fun showing me everything in his room (mostly leg0 related stuff). He also showed me his clock and told me that it's radioactive. It turns out that when he says "radioactive" he means that it has a radio and the time is set based on the radio. The middle two, both girls, sat on me on the couch as we talked and they (as well as their brother) showed me all the art work they had been doing. The 6 year old is very good. The smallest child (who is around 20 months) came over with his stuffed dog and sniffed me gently. I guess I smelled okay, because later he was climbing on me as well! It was a fun afternoon, and that evening a couple other ladies came over as well for our ladies' study (we're doing J.I. Packer's Knowing God).

My toaster oven is dying. First one of the elements went out on the bottom so my toast was only half toasted on the bottom; now the entire bottom of the oven is dead and my toast is toasting on the top only. Last night my friend gave me her old toaster (they recently updated to a 4-slice toaster) so this morning I had toast that was toasted on both sides! The toaster oven is still good for making a small batch of nachos.

Right now I'm watching Bugs Bunny while relaxing from doing homework. There's more homework to do, but it's not so bad. I've been reading A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 and it's very interesting. I have a pot of soup on the stove and I might make banana muffins later tonight.

Tomorrow is Easter. Instead of Sunday School, we're having breakfast at the church. Later tomorrow I'm going to have dinner with friends (I spend all major holidays with them; they're my Edmonton family). I'm bringing a salad and in exchange I get a full Easter dinner (and maybe leftovers). In Grandma's email listing what we should all bring, she asked that the men and boys be responsible for clean up this year since the women are generally responsible for cooking.

Life is good.

Reading over this, it seems that much of my happiness revolves around food!

Thomas Cranmer

Once a month I teach my Sunday School class about the Reformation. We focus each month on one of the men who was involved, and they really enjoy these lessons. It's a combination of history and theology, and along the way they're learning to recognize and refute false doctrine. As an added bonus, they all know the difference between Martin Luther and Martin Luther King, Jr.

This week we were up to Thomas Cranmer. I chose him because he is important from a historical point of view and he allowed me to give them a bit of English history as well: moving from Henry VIII to Edward VI to Bloody Mary, so they understand what was happening that affected the Reformation and the movement of Protestantism. This will come in next month as well. They might have been a bit confused about Henry's wives...but so is everyone!

Cranmer, though, is complicated. All the other reformers were more straight forward, even when we disagreed with some of what they taught. They generally had some sort of conversion experience, started preaching and writing against the Roman Catholic Church, and held tight to their convictions even when facing death (and some of them were put to death for their beliefs).

Cranmer....Well, he helped Henry VIII get his divorce from Catherine of Aragon and he broke his promise to the king when he tried to get Lady Jane Grey on the throne instead of Mary (Cranmer having promised to uphold Henry's daughters' rights to the throne...but Mary was a rabid Catholic and Jane was a Protestant). He had reasons for what he did, but it still doesn't make things like divorce and breaking promises right.

On the other hand, he was very influential in getting Protestantism into England. He convinced the king to allow English Bibles into the churches, he had prayers translated from Latin to English, and he put the king above the pope (and eventually the pope was not part of the Church of England).

Like I said: Cranmer was complicated. It gets worse, though. When Mary took the throne she had Cranmer arrested, partly for treason (Lady Jane Grey), partly because he was Protestant (the deal under Mary was Catholic or death) and partly because she hated him (Catherine of Aragon was her mother). The Roman Catholic authorities did whatever they could to get him to recant on the basis that he was a very important man in Protestantism and his recantation would hurt the entire movement.

Much to the delight of his enemies (and the surprise and dismay of my class) Cranmer recanted; in fact, he signed several recantations. Fear won.

And then Mary was determined to have him put to death anyway. The church authorities decided to make him read his recantation in front of everyone before his execution. They brought him to St. Mary's Cathedral and introduced him with a sermon denouncing his beliefs as heretical. Then Cranmer stood up...and recanted his recantation. He repented, he insisted that everything he has signed was a lie, he said that his right hand would burn first, and he said that the pope was the enemy of Christ. Then they led him out (very quickly) to be burned. He held his right hand out to the fire to burn first and so he died.

Cranmer is not a straight-up, easy to understand hero. He was about as messed up as the rest of us, he let himself be swayed by fear more than once, and he will forever be known for his biggest failure. Still, I find comfort in learning about Cranmer, because he reminds me of myself more than the other reformers. And in the end...God won.

Here's My Story; You Can Find the Application

Thursday morning was grey and gloomy, but not overly cold (although a bit windy). By noon there was some rain and snow and messy precipitation, but not a lot. Later in the afternoon it started snowing for real, much to everyone's surprise. It turned into a proper storm with a lot of snow covering the slushy, rainy stuff (but not a lot of wind, happily enough). It just surprised everyone; they had said flurries, not a storm!

On the bus on the way to a friend's house after work, I saw something that made me smile. Two young boys (probably about 10 and 12; maybe a bit younger) were riding their bikes (or trying to ride their bikes) home. Obviously, they had ridden their bikes to school that morning when there was no snow, stayed late, and were trying to get home. They arrived at the bus stop about the same time the bus stopped for a passenger. They asked the driver if, please, he would just give them a ride; they didn't have any money, but it was just a block....

Because the bus was mostly empty so there was room at the front for them and their bikes...

And they weather was miserable...

And they were children...

And the driver was a softy...

He said yes, they could get on the bus. They rode only to the next stop, thanked him, and got off. We all smiled at each other; after all, they were children and we would have done the same.

Just a couple of children who needed a bit of a boost on a miserable day.