Because Sometimes You Don't Feel Joyful and Triumphant...

Christmas!!!

 Yes, yes, it's been forever, but I'm starting to organize the Christmas concert, so it's time for....

Uncle Jim

 Last Saturday my sister called to tell me that my Uncle Jim had passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. I hadn't seem him in about 8 years, but I loved my uncle very much. He was so big and strong and happy and loving. I was the flower girl in his wedding to my Aunt Sarah many years ago. When he and Aunt Sarah were expecting their first child, they were visiting and he asked my opinion about the name they had chosen. I felt very grown up and special when he asked me, and I assured him that I liked the name. I never doubted that he enjoyed spending time with me whenever we go to see each other. He knew how to listen well and treated everyone with respect.

Grief is weird. When I hung up with my sister, I called my mom so we could cry together for a while. I cried on and off for the next couple days as the grief was huge, and then it settled a bit. Now I go through the days fairly well until I think, "Uncle Jim is dead," and then I cry again. It seems random; I have no idea what triggers the reminder and the tears. Sometimes the grief hits hard and it's difficult to focus on anything much for a while; sometimes I can keep doing whatever I was doing and the grief subsides quickly. I just accept that random tears are normal right now.

Sometimes I cry for myself, and sometimes I cry for my aunt and cousins (and my cousin's wee baby who will not remember her grandfather), and sometimes I cry for my mom who has outlived her parents and her brothers and is the last one in her immediate family (and I don't even want to imagine what that is like).

I loved my uncle very much. I wish I could tell him that again. I wish I could see him one more time.

A Wee Bit of Happiness

 A tiny bit of happiness came my way 10 days ago: 6lbs and 14oz of happiness, to be exact! That bit of happiness came in the form of a wee little girl baby who is all cuteness and sweetness and adorableness and the most wonderful baby ever. (And lest you think I'm biased, I would like to point out that many people agree with me: her parents, her grandparents, her aunts, and her uncles!)

I love all the church babies, of course, but this one is extra special. Her mom was one of my church kids many years ago when she was 6 and I've watched her grow up in the church. This tiny girl-baby is the first of my GraceLife Sunday School grandchildren, so she's already extra special.

But to add to my joy, it was decided early in the pregnancy that this wee one would call me "Grandma Dorothy", so I get to refer to her as my wee granddaughter, and that is something that I thought I would never have. After all, not having children generally means not having grandchildren.

And yes, she's not technically my granddaughter, but I'm happy to ignore technicalities and enjoy being part of her family instead. Plus, I have had to explain to people that her mom is not my daughter!

Sometimes I feel incredibly overwhelmed by how much God has blessed me. It's true that He did not give me a husband and children of my own, but He has given me so many families to be a part of and so many children to love: babies and bigger kids and my high school kids. It's a lot of family and I am so blessed to have all of them. 

And now, just to add to my joy, a wee granddaughter to love.

Last Year's Books

My poor, neglected blog. One of my goals for this year is to write more; we'll see how that goes. To start:

Last year was a very long, strange year, and I kept terrible track of what I read. I also have a lot of started books, either because they are for my church history classes (homeschool and high school) and we're not through church history yet, or because I had trouble focusing on finishing books for a while (a long while, so I have a lot of partly-finished books to read this year), so this book list is just a mix of what I read that I remembered to record and that I enjoyed.

In no particular order:

1. I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf by Grant Snider. It's true; I judge a lot of people by their bookshelves.
2. The Law of Kindness by Mary Beeke
3. Royal Deceptions by Fred Butler, about the King James Only controversy
4. Trusting God by Jerry Bridges. I think I've read this 4 times (or more), and every time there's something for me to gain.
5. The Battle of Seattle by Douglas Bond. This was really fun to read.
6. Killing Lincoln by Bill O’Reilly and Martin Dugard. I enjoyed the story and learned more history.
7. On the Far Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George, one of the sequels to My Side of the Mountain
8. Side by Side by Edward Welch
9. The Crystal Tree by Jennie D. Lindquist. This is the third in the series, and I have loved them since I was a child.
10. Applesauce Needs Sugar by Victoria Case, a lovely and often humorous memoir of farm life a hundred (or so) years ago.
11. Brother Hermitage’s Christmas by Howard of Warwick
12. The Short, the Long, and the Tall by Jeffrey Archer
13. Anatole by Eve Titus. Actually, I read 4 Anatole books this year, and read them regularly. They are popular books with my friend's children, and I read them to the kids every time I visit.
14. Getting Over Yourself by Dean Inserra. I wrote a book review on this. Go find it.
15. Being a Writer by Travis Elborough and Helen Gordon
16. Lord Brocktree by Brian Jacques
17. The Tunnel King by Barbara Hehner, about the Canadian involved in the Great Escape (the movie is good as well).
18. What’s Your World View? By James N Anderson
19. Why Children Matter by Douglas Wilson
20. A Vessel in the King’s Hand by Abigail Froese. One of my former Sunday School students wrote this. It's very good; go read it.
21. Kings and Queens of England, A Dark History by Brenda Ralph Lewis. There is, of course, a lot of torture and beheadings. Also, my high school history class now uses "hunting accident" as a euphemism for "killed by a sibling who wanted the throne".

Getting Over Yourself (a book review)

 Getting Over Yourself by Dean Inserra; subtitled "Trading Believe-in-Yourself Religion for Christ-Centered Christianity"

Inserra has written this to discuss a problem that he has seen in many modern churches: the "Instagramification" of Christianity, with "trendy pastors who preach a message of personal success, betterment, and victory" who are social media celebrities, which "allows one to have a theistic source of faith and an emotional connection to Jesus without the demands of biblical discipleship and conduct." (pp.12-13) He refers to it as "pop-Christianity" or "new prosperity theology" that has replaced rags-to-riches and immediate healing with God-sized dreams and visions and achieving "God's best" while ignoring the tough parts of Scripture.

Inserra does a good job showing the problems with "pop-Christianity" from different angles, looking at what it is, where it came from, and what it is doing, all the while comparing its teachings to Scripture. He looks as the dangers of being gospel and doctrine-lite and trying for church growth through pragmatism (what you draw them with is what you draw them to, so if you're not drawing them with Christ, you're not drawing them to Christ). He shows how Scripture is being misused in these churches and by these teachers to encourage self-fulfillment instead of being disciples, and he does it while pointing clearly to the gospel. 

At the same time, he does not deny that God has a plan for our lives or that His plan is good and amazing; the problem is that His plan isn't necessarily what we think it is and it was never meant to focus on us (or to encourage us to focus on ourselves). Inserra isn't making Christianity into drudgery or something boring, but shows that it is actually bigger then we imagine when we make it about ourselves.

In the final chapter, he points to how we can have abundant life in Christ: Ask God to help you be gospel-centered; by grade, through Scripture, seek to increase your knowledge of God; pursue the ordinary life; find godly community; and pray for willingness to be marginalized.

Getting Over Yourself  is written in a simple, straight-forward way that is accessible for anyone.

"I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of this

review."

Nehemiah

 A very long time ago, when I lived in Thunder Bay, my pastor preached through Nehemiah. I don't remember everything he preached (I don't even remember every book he preached through), but two of the Nehemiah sermons have stuck in my head and I remember them every time I read Nehemiah.

The first is from the very beginning of the book, when Nehemiah asks about Jerusalem, hears what is happening, prays, and plans. I think the sermon was titled "Look Out, Look Up, Look In" (or something close to that). The general idea is to know what is happening, pray about it, and see how you can help. My memory is pretty short on details; I just know that I've remembered it at various times when I've felt overwhelmed. First I look properly at what it happening, then I pray about it, then I think about what to do about it. It works much better than my temptation to worry about it until it's even more overwhelming and then pray about it.

The second comes from the list of people building the wall in chapter 3. It lists groups and people who worked on the wall as well as what part they worked on. The think I remember is the Tekoites who are mentioned twice as making repairs, but the first mention adds that their nobles did not support the work. It seems to be generally agreed that the nobles felt that the work was beneath them and they refused to stoop to manual labor. The question, if I remember correctly, was: "How do you want to be remembered? As someone who did the work of the Lord or someone who refused?"

This read-through, I made a list of people who are mentioned as working on the wall; specifically, I looked for the groups who aren't usually thought of as builders: priests, goldsmiths, perfumers, officials, daughters, and merchants. None of them would have been used to building walls, but all of them helped. 

Sometimes I think that we get stuck in "this is who I am" and forget that we may be needed to serve in other ways, for a greater or lesser period of time. I'm pretty sure most of those people did not become builders after the wall was done; they served where they were needed and then got back to their regular life, whatever that looked like.

Sometimes I think we can also get stuck in "this is who this other person is" and not ask them for help or expect them to do anything other than what we think they can do or should do.

I think we should try harder to be like the people building the wall. Sometimes we can and should do things that we (or other people) did not think we could do.