This Year's Focus

I have a lot of imagination. I spent my childhood years making up stories and putting myself into the books I read. It's a good thing, this imagination. It got me through tough times, and boring times, and and allowed me to escape when I needed to. It also, I think, has helped me put myself in someone else's shoes, to think about why he/she is acting or speaking in a certain way. I think it has given me more understanding and empathy.

Of course, as with all good things, there is also a down side. This imagination also lets me escape when I should be focusing, and when I just don't want to deal with things. I find myself in my own world too often instead of listening to people, and years of escaping into a daydream has made it a habit that needs to be controlled.

And then, when you couple an imagination with a tendency to worry, you get even more trouble. I can anticipate every possible outcome of any conversation or event, and most of what I imagine are the ways things could go wrong.

This is the trouble I have found in my own life lately (it's been there for a very, very long time, but I've only really been dealing with it lately): my thought life, and mostly this ability to escape through daydreams (where I am almost always the hero and other people in my life are the bad guys); or worry about the future; or not let go of the past (but reliving it and trying to "fix" whatever went wrong). It's one of the ways that God is pruning and weeding in my life, and it's been painful and tough to deal with, to admit that there is so much sin just in my thoughts, and to constantly confess it to God and seek His forgiveness. It's an ongoing battle, but He is patient and faithful to forgive me and give me ways to escape when my thoughts try to rule me.

So this is my focus for this year:

Finally brethren,

whatever is true,

whatever is honorable,

whatever is right,

whatever is pure,

whatever is lovely,

whatever is of good repute,

if there is any excellence

and if anything worthy of praise,

dwell on these things.

Philippians 4:8