Daydreams and Prayer

When I was a child, I made up stories in my head regularly: when falling asleep, going for a walk, riding in the car, sitting in school; basically, if it was quiet or I was bored, I was daydreaming. I realize now that what I was coming up with was basically self-insert fan fiction: I put myself in the lives of my favourite book characters and worlds and had adventures. Sometimes my stories were about people and places I knew, but usually they were from the world of books. 

(As a side note, I still make up stories, but the subjects have switched: now, while I sometimes include fictional people and places in my stories, they are more likely to involve real-life situations and people.) 

The other day I was thinking about prayer and I remembered my younger daydreams. In my stories, people sometimes prayed, sometimes at mealtimes and sometimes for help. When that was going to happen, I would stop and pray a little prayer explaining to God that the prayer that was coming up wasn't a real prayer; it was just part of a story. Then when the prayer was finished, I would let God know that the pretend prayer was over!

My understanding of God was somewhat lacking at that time as I obviously didn't realize that God can tell the difference between real prayer and prayer that is part of a daydream. My understanding of prayer may have been better: I believed that God listened to my prayers, so I didn't want any confusion about what I expected Him to listen to and what He could ignore. I also knew that some prayers were real and some were pretend.

Now that I'm older and have learned more, I know that if people pray in my daydreams, God knows they aren't real prayers. I still believe that God listens to my prayers and that prayer is important. I know that the difference between real prayer and not-real prayer is not always "do I mean this or is it part of a story" but "where is my heart when I am praying and am I just going through the motions." And I realize that when people pray in my imaginary stories, the prayers often reflect my heart and what I believe (they pray what I think they should pray or what I would want someone to pray for me in the situation).

I think there was something very sweet, though, about younger me earnestly explaining things to God so that there would be no confusion about the pretend prayer!