When denial fails

I work with children all the time. The sticky, messy, germy, throwing-up-at-work-and-coughing-in-my-face kind of children. In theory I should be sick all winter thanks to these children. I have always insisted that the reason I stay healthy is denial: I don't have time to be sick, I refuse the acknowledge that I'm sick, and I simply tell the assorted ailments to come back when I have more time.

Denial has failed. I have a cold. I'm stuffy and snuffly and miserable and trying to refrain from coughing all over those rotten kids who are responsible for this. I don't do sick very well unless I can hide from the world, sleep for a couple days, and get over it. Only I can't. I'm not sick enough (in my mind) to justify not working or studying or doing whatever it is I should be doing right now instead of blogging. I'm just too sick to do it all cheerfully.

I do not have the time or patience for this nonsense, so I am going to go and work on denial. I am not sick. I am not sick. I am not sick.

Thoughts on Thoughts

First, a disclaimer: this is not my own thought. This is my friend Dawn's thought, but she said I could use it.
Here's the saying: "It's the thought that counts." Here's the question: is it, really? Or is it the action that counts? There are 2 thoughts on this (and they both count).
First, if you do something and mean well and it doesn't quite turn out right, it may be the thought that counts. If someone buys you a present because they care about you, and they are sure that you will really love it, it's the thought that counts. Even if you hate the present. In this case, you may want to look at the heart behind it.
On the other hand, if you think about doing something for someone and you don't do it, then, yeah, it means nothing. Those times saying "it's the thought that counts" sounds like an excuse for being lazy or just not caring. Thoughts without actions are meaningless.
Those are my thought about Dawn's thoughts about thoughts. What are your thoughts?

Fun with the Kids

A couple small spiderman astronauts just walked into the room to tell me that they are headed off into space. One can only hope.

When the baby needed to be changed, I asked him to get a diaper. He tossed me the wipes. Then he found a diaper and threw it to me from across the room. Then he refused to come any closer. He does not like being changed. Instead he ran to Mommy. Who, of course, changed him. The baby needs to rething his hiding spots.

I watched the 5 year old play soccer. They have no concept of teamwork just yet and will try to take the ball from anyone just so they can kick it. Scoring is fun, even if it is against your own team. When they get tired, they simply fall down on the field. It was the funniest soccer game I have ever seen.

We baked today. Everything got mixed very well because all they really like doing is running the mixer. That and licking the beaters, bowl, spoon, etc.

The princess walked into the room to tell me about playing football. She was wearing a pink skort, a dirty Dora shirt, and a light-up bicycle helmet. And carrying a small plastic football. It was an interesting look.

It's been an interesting weekend.

Cooking with the Kids

I'm visiting my sister for a few days to help out a bit. Today the three younger kids and I were making casseroles to freeze. Cooking with a 7 year old, and 5 year old and a 20 month old is an experience. In fact the big kids were somewhat helpful. They stirred and grated and cleaned up. There was a lot of cleaning up!

And we had this conversation:
5 year old: That looks like pluke.
7 year old: It looks yuck.
Me: It's chicken taco casserole, not puke.
7 yr old: It looks yucky, but it'll be good, right?
5 yr old: It's not pluke, it just looks like pluke.

I hope they all enjoy the pluke casserole.

Time management and legalism

Sometimes I have time management issues. Really, they're time use issues. When I get home from work, I'm tired and I want to veg for a while...which becomes a longer while...and then it's bedtime and I haven't accomplished anything. It used to be tv watching that took up the time until I stopped watching tv (mostly) because it was a waste of time. The problem was, I replaced it with the computer and the joy of blog reading and internet surfing.

Okay, so the link to legalism: to combat this I want rules. I want someone to say "It's okay to watch these tv shows, or to watch for this amount of time, and to spend this much time on the computer." In fact I've tried making rules, but I don't follow them very well. I am the master of justifying my actions (or inaction).

So what's the answer? More rules? Probably not. All that creates is outward change that really doesn't last. What I need is to want to spend my time wisely rather than waste it. Which makes it a character issue. Which means that I have to change. Which is no fun.

cold

I'm cold. It's cold outside: very, very, very cold. According to the Weather Network it is -28, it feels like -40, and there is a wind chill warning. Plus, I'm at work and it's chilly in here and my fingers are cold. Plus my 10:00 appointment didn't show up (maybe because of the cold) and my 11:00 cancelled (they called in sick).
So I'm here waiting for my 1:00 appointment. Now I'm cold and annoyed at people who don't show up for appointments. Well, except the one who called in sick; I'm not annoyed when people call. And I wonder what happened to basic manners? When you can't make an appointment, is it not customary to call? It happens a lot around here: people forget, or something more important comes up, or they change their minds, and they don't bother to call. It's very annoying. Especially when I'm cold.

Depth

I was talking with a friend recently and mentioned the idea of "depth" in relation to Christianity. Specifically, we were talking about a friend who had tried some internet dating services and said that all the Christian men she met lacked depth. The friend I was talking with feels that depth can be measured by your willingness to set aside differences and get along. She feels that we need to focus on what we have in common and as long as we agree on "the cross" nothing else matters. She believes in compromise: you attend her church on Saturday and his on Sunday, for example. As long as you're both Christians, nothing else should matter to you.
I don't agree. I don't think that differences should stand in the way of friendships (or I'd have to stop being friends with this friend, so start with), but I don't think we can always just focus on what we have in common. There are differences that are important, and when it comes to serious relationships, they are worth considering. It seems to me that being willing to set aside or ignore what I believe (and I'm talking doctrine, not preferences) is proof of the shallowness of my beliefs rather than of depth. Yes, there are times to compromise, but there are also times to stand firm.

Sad but True

Okay, I have a confession to make. I watched the Superbowl on Sunday. I still think football is a silly game, but I watched anyway. In my defence, though, I had very good reasons for watching it: that's where the food was and I was working on being sociable...but mostly it was for the food (there was pizza). And I had my laptop and my book so I wasn't watching so much as I was in the same room as the tv.
But that's not the worst part. That much I can excuse on the basis of food and socialization. Then, part way through the 4th quarter, my landlady came home and we went down to the basement tv to watch something (anything) else. We ended up watching "Murdoch Mysteries" which was much more interesting than football. BUT... during commercials I kept flipping back to the game just to check what was happening. I seemed to have been hooked by football.
The only consolation I have is that I still think it's a silly game, I probably won't watch it again, and plus there was pizza. I'd do worse for pizza.

You explain it

This is what I've heard: God does not judge; He forgives.
If He isn't judging, what is He forgiving? Or how is He forgiving? Without judging us, how is He determining that we need forgiveness?
Am I the only one who doesn't understand this?

First thought

I figure, everyone else has a blog, so why not me? Because, after all, everyone wants to read my thoughts, right? On the other hand, this does allow me to write down my thoughts, pretend that people are reading them, and not bother anyone. And everyone wins! Plus, I like being able to tell people to check my blog!