How to be Content as a Single Christian Woman

This comes up regularly in discussions about being single (of which I am an expert by now), and here is my attempt to answer the question. 

1. Remember that God is sovereign. You're not single by mistake; you're single because this is the best for you at this time. This is for your good and His glory.
2. Think about why you are discontent and deal with the underlying issue.
1. Is the problem not trusting God's sovereignty? 
• I suggest reading Trusting God by Jerry Bridges with a trusted friend who will help you figure things out.
2. Do you believe that God is holding out on you? 
• Again: Trusting God.
3. Have you been lied to about the role of women? Have you been told that marriage is God's highest calling for women? Or that marriage is better than singleness? Or that you are somehow less of a godly woman for being single? (I know that people may not have said all this, but they often say enough that seems to mean all this.)
• First, read 1 Corinthians 7.
• Then, listen to Pastor James preaching about this: https://gracelife.ca/sermon_book/1-corinthians/page/7/
• Start with May 21st, skip June 4th, listen to June 11th, 18th, and September 10th.
3. Live your life. Don't put it on hold because you're waiting for marriage (or anything, really). This is the life God has given you, so live it. And enjoy it! Serve the church. Get a job. Go to school. Invest in the lives of the people around you. Practice hospitality. Be who God has called you to be right now.
4. Finally, don't believe anyone who says "You just need to be content in your singleness and then God will send you a husband." This is nonsense and obviously untrue (note the number of discontented people who are married and the number of contented people who are single). You're not being content to manipulate God into sending you a husband; you're being content to obey God's commands to trust Him and to submit to His sovereignty in your life.

The End of March

March often seems like a very, very long month. It may have to do with it being winter, then spring, then winter, then spring, then winter again. In a few hours, it will be over.

It was a bit of a frustrating month as I had trouble booking my spring meetings and then had several cancelations because if illness, family emergencies, and weather. Although nothing can beat the year I had seven families in a row cancel! I am behind on where I should be by now, but not so much that I can't catch up and be done (roughly) on time.

It was a hard month because of some decisions a friend made. I was dealing with confusion and grief and anger and trying to understand things that don't make sense to me at all. And trying to help others deal with it.

It was a fun month as I read many picture books to the small ones, played many trivia games with the bigger ones, spent the night with my Edmonton family, took a couple boys on a public transit adventure and had them over for lunch and Lego, cuddled a wee baby, met with families I hadn't seen since fall, and acquired more art and crafts from the children.

It was a growing month as I prayed fervently and deeply for my friends, dealt with my own heart issues, turned to God again and again with my hurt, prayed fervently for others who were hurt, reevaluated my own choices (of how to spend time mostly), prayed more, and reached out to others, both to love them and to ask for help.

It was a good month. 

What I'm Thankful For: Spring Snow Storm Edition

Indoor heating

Getting home safely

Not having to go outside tomorrow

Indoor plumbing

My bed

Grocery delivery

Public libraries

A collection of blankets

Hot chocolate

Fuzzy socks

Flannel jammies

Home

From the Kids

Wednesday morning I was reading to my little guys. They had been impressed by how many books I owned (based on how many I've read to them) until I told them that most of them came from the library. They they reminded me that I have to give them back!

Once I got on with the reading, this conversation occurred:

Small 5-year-old girl: How do you know what the story is?

Me (slightly perplexed): I can read. 
Me (pointing to the words): The story is right here.

Her: Those letters tell the story?

Me: Yes. The letters make words and they tell the story.

She can't read quite yet and was quite surprised to learn that letters can make words that can then make stories! She (and some of the others) were quite impressed that I can read all of the words!

I love 5-year-olds; they're so easily impressed.

Happy First Day of Spring!

 "The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month."   ~Henry Van Dyke

Two weeks ago it felt like spring. Last week winter returned with a vengeance (cold and snow). This week it's been starting to warm up again. By my calculations, we are moving from second winter to spring of deception (as some have called it) and have at least one more return of winter before mud season and proper spring.

Evidence Not Seen: A book review

A friend recommended Evidence Not Seen by Darlene Deibler Rose, and I'm very glad that she did. The book was heartbreaking and beautiful all at the same time.

The book is subtitled A Woman's Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of World War II. Darlene tells her story as a young, newly married missionary to New Guinea. She left her home for language school in January 1938 and landed in Indonesia that August. The plan was five years and then a furlough; the reality was almost 8 years, four of them in a Japanese POW camp on one of the islands. 

Darlene's story is heartbreaking. Anyone who has studied WWII history knows that the Japanese POW camps were not a good place to be: they included hard labour, little food, unsanitary conditions, sickness, beatings, and fear. The camp was for women and children; Darlene and her husband were separated and she was never to see him again as he died in a different camp. At one point she was taken to a notorious prison and interrogated/tortured as a suspected spy. It was a dark time.

Darlene's story is also beautiful. Her faith shines through in the midst of everything. She learns again and again to trust God and that He will never leave her. She witnesses to the much feared Japanese leader of the camp; her faith and words touch him and he becomes more gentle, eventually visiting her in the prison and saving her life. Many years later, she will learn that he eventually became a believer. Her faith in the middle of horrendous circumstances was beautiful and encouraging.

I absolutely recommend Evidence Not Seen.

When You Are Speaking With Others

"If she sins, speak of God's forgiveness. If she fails, speak of God's mercy. If she doubts, speak of God's faithfulness. If she suffers, speak of God's lovingkindness. And if she hurts or offends you, remember that as God has been gracious to you in your salvation, you must also be gracious to her -- especially when you speak."

When Words Matter Most

Cheryl Marshall and Caroline Newheiser