On Changing the World

Once I thought that I would do great and amazing things and change the world. 

Then I thought I might do good, still amazing things, and change a smaller part of the world. 

Now I do little, ordinary things, and don't worry about changing the world. 

I encourage children to learn, to think, to know God. I encourage parents as they teach their children and come along side them as they endeavor to raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord. I listen to friends when they need an ear and try to reach out to know people better. I do my best to love the people around me even when I'm not sure I'm doing it right. Sometimes I share my thoughts on books and people and the world for a small readership. I write Sunday School curriculum, and I try to get students to read and write, and I edit papers for friends, and I write articles about women of church history, and I watch over children while their moms fellowship and learn and study the Word together.

Perhaps I won't change the world. Perhaps that isn't my job. What I will do is be faithful with what God has put in front of me and trust Him to change the world.

The First Week

We're just about a whole week into the new year. So far it seems to be okay. I've spent a lot of time thinking about things, and praying about things, and pondering who I want to be this year and what I want it to look like. Pastor James preached this sermon on New Year's Day, and it has me thinking about forgetting what is behind and focusing on what is ahead, and what I need to do in that regard. I've also been re-listening to this sermon from last summer, about the need for revival, and pondering that as well

Last year was rough in a lot of ways, and I didn't always respond well to the trials and pressures. This year I want things to be different. Things need to be different. I need to be different. As always, I have big ideas on how to make big changes, but we all know how that goes: really well for a few weeks, and then things slide back into old routines.

Instead, I'm praying a lot and waiting on God. I'm seeing the little things that need to be changed: forms of entertainment that I need to cut out because they distract me from what is important; ways of thinking that I need to stop when they sneak up on me; temptations that seem innocent but keep me focused on the world and not God.

To be clear: last year was not all bad. There were good things that happened, and God did a lot of work in my life. He made clear some sins that I was clinging to that needed to be confessed and repented of (both to Him and, sometimes, other people). He used the faithful preaching of His word by my pastors to move me closer to Him (sometimes by gently nudging, and sometimes by significantly less gentle means). I can see where He has been working in my life, pruning and shaping me, and smoothing out rough edges. It's been painful, but I can see the benefits, and I'm thankful for His work and the love that prompts Him to keep conforming me to His Son.

We'll see what this year brings. I want to know God better this year. It think it will require work, and it may be painful at times, but I also know that it is more than worth it to be more conformed to the likeness of Christ.

What I'm Learning

I'm preparing my discipleship plan for Worship and Wisdom class. Everything I'm reading, from Proverbs, Matthew, and James (and various other parts) only confirms one thing:

We only have 2 choices.

We either follow God or the world, as demonstrated in wisdom or folly.

We want more choices, right? Things that are sort-of okay, or not really wrong. It's not really God's wisdom, but we're certainly not following worldly folly either.

I'm sorry, people, but such a choice does not exist. Furthermore, we have to choose wisdom deliberately: it won't just happen. And every time we are not choosing wisdom, we are by default choosing folly.

Sometimes the hard part is knowing what wisdom is in a certain situation. I think, though, that it isn't always as tough as we think (or as we want it to be so that we might have an excuse for slacking a bit). It takes work, though, and time spent reading and learning Scripture and learning to know God more and more.

What It Isn't

I'm still sorting out thoughts and emotions here. I thought I'd try figuring out what's happening by looking at it backwards.

What I'm dealing with is not...

A new way of "experiencing" God that has moved me to a new level beyond all the "regular" Christians. And trust me...I haven't reached some amazing level where I'm suddenly sinless!

A sudden epiphany that will fade in a couple days and not leave me changed (I hope...but already I'm finding some changes in how I'm thinking and reacting).

Based only on emotion. It's a combination of understanding and emotion...but being me, the emotion is harder to deal with, so it comes up more frequently.

Okay, that's all I have for today.

Research

Sometimes I ask questions about Scripture that don't have easy answers. I often get the response, "Well, we can't really know for sure, so why bother?" The attitude is that there are some questions that we should just leave alone and not take the time to ponder.

A lot of the time I don't ask questions now because no one else seems interested in the things that interest me and no one else wants to think about them. I still want to research and learn and understand as much as I can  but so many people try to convince me to let things go.

Today this idea came up in class, along with a reason for trying.There are so many things that we don’t understand and maybe we never will, but as we search for answers we learn to know God more and learn other things that we had never thought about. The more we look, the more we understand about God and His Word and often about ourselves.


Research is good. Learning is fun. I think that I'll keep looking for answers even if no one else cares to come along for the ride.