What I'm Thankful For

Today I am thankful for:

• Flowers blooming in my garden.
• Getting to spend time cuddling, talking to, and loving on a baby this morning.
• History class starting next week.
• Good music to listen to.
• Good books to read.
• Being able to put off encumbrances and focus on the important things.
• Almost all of my families completing their program plans.
• Having friends over regularly this month, before things get too busy.
• Sound preaching every Sunday.
• Fairly good sleep lately.
• A new, and very good, blueberry muffin recipe.
• Blueberry season.
• God's faithfulness.
• Sunny days going into fall.
• Public libraries.

Being Thankful in a Tough Week

Sunday was hard. The church got to the last stage of church discipline for a dear friend and I felt shattered. I cried a lot that day and in the days after. I still cry sometimes. I have been grieving for him and his refusal to repent, for his wife who stood with him in his sin, and for his family who were by extension affected. I am grieving for our broken fellowship and for the loss of a family I counted as one of my own.

It took a few days before I started to see things to be thankful for in the midst of my grief.

I am thankful that God gave us faithful elders who are willing to do the painful task of church discipline, not out of anger or a desire to punish, but out of love and a desire to for repentance and restoration. I am thankful that if I start to stray, they will do their best to bring me back. I am thankful that they will protect the church family from those who would cause them harm. 

I am also thankful for their willingness to answer my questions and pray for me and encourage me in the midst of this trouble.

I am thankful that it happened the week I would spend the most time with members of the church family. This was the first week of fall meetings, and both Monday and Thursday I met with friends from church. I also had lunch with friends on Monday, Thursday, and Friday. And Wednesday is women's ministry so I was with the ladies and my homeschool kids that morning as well. It was helpful to be surrounded by people I love and who love me and, to remember that despite the loss of one family whom I love dearly, I am not alone.

I am thankful that God used this to show some areas in my heart that needed attention, some sinful attitudes that I needed to deal with right away.

I am thankful that God left this family with us for around 15 years. The parents had every chance to know Him for real (and even in the process of church discipline, every chance to repent and to turn to Christ), and the children were able to grow up in a loving church where the gospel was preached regularly.

I am thankful that God is so invested in the unity of the church and in the protection of His sheep that He will remove someone who would cause them harm.

I am thankful for years of friendship; even in my grief, I wouldn't wish those years away.

I am thankful that God is patient and forgiving, and if my friend and his wife repent, He will welcome them with open arms.

I am hurting, and there will probably be more tears, but there is still much to be thankful for.

Being Thankful

Sometimes, in the midst of hearing that I need to remember to be thankful for God and His Son and salvation and all things tied into this (and I am truly and regularly thankful for these things), I forget to be thankful for all the other things that make up life. And yet all of them are part of God's blessings.

Today I am thankful for:

• A note of love and encouragement from a friend
• The inclusion of humor in her note; that's also an important part of our friendship
• My wildflowers are booming; the current ones have tiny white flowers
• My tomatoes are also getting some flowers
• The sun is out today
• The time I had with good friends who are moving away next week
• A multitude of memories of good times with other friends and their children
• The children's artwork on my fridge and wall (aka, The Art Gallery)
• Getting Sunday School sorted out
• No pushback from the teachers who have been told about changes to their curriculum this year
• New Sunday School teachers and helpers
• Blueberry season
• Good music for remembering and worshiping God
• Having one of my favourite bacon and egg breakfasts
• A stack of new books for the church library
• Accomplishing some of today's goals before lunch

My People

Last week was rough. There's a thing involving church and friends -- people I love -- and it's messy and heartbreaking. I spent a lot of time trying to process events and thoughts and feelings.

But...

1. I have help running Sunday School this year. I've needed it for a while (since the church doubled in size practically overnight), but I didn't really think about it. Mostly, it seemed that everyone expected me to be able to handle everything on my own. Now someone at church has stepped into the role of my assistant (completely unplanned; it just happened). We met to discuss curriculum and memory work, and she will do some of the stuff.

2. I have an Elder of Sunday School who listened to me try to explain how things were and how I want them to be and understood and supported me. And he offered to do some of the tasks that came up in our discussion so I don't have to do all the things. More to the point, I can trust him to do them.

3. While I'm pretty sure he had a lot on his plate already, one of the pastors took the time to answer my emails when I sent him so many questions and thoughts about what was happening as I tried to understand where things go from here.

4. The friends who drive me to church made their decision to not stay for the monthly pot luck based at least in part on their thought that I probably wouldn't want to stay (because long days and large crowds can be a bit much).

5. I have a very good friend that I could also talk things over with and then we could get distracted by other thoughts and I would feel better about life. 

6. While I am not always up for hugs, I needed them more this week and got my entire fill on Sunday. At the same time, when I really, really did not want anyone touching me one week (it had been a very people-filled few days and I just wanted to get home and nap under my weighted blanket), my dear friend who always gets to hug me was willing to back off for one week (and I promised -- and delivered -- two hugs the following Sunday!).

7. I was at a friend's house and there were kittens! The kittens are not actually my people, but the friends who understood my need for kittens are greatly appreciated!

So: A rough week with some messiness, but also filled with the people God has given me. And I am thankful for His blessings.

What I'm Thankful For: Spring Snow Storm Edition

Indoor heating

Getting home safely

Not having to go outside tomorrow

Indoor plumbing

My bed

Grocery delivery

Public libraries

A collection of blankets

Hot chocolate

Fuzzy socks

Flannel jammies

Home

On Being Thankful

I've been thinking a lot lately about being thankful. There are a couple Scriptures that keep coming to mind:

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

It's easy to give thanks when things are going well, and it's easy to give thanks for the good things. What I've been thinking about and praying about is the other stuff: about giving thanks in the bad times and for the bad stuff.

It's not that I like the bad times or the bad stuff, but if I trust God's sovereignty, and if I believe Scripture, then I have to believe that there's a purpose for all of it (even when I can't see it). Romans 8 says that God is working all things for the good of those who love Him, and that this "good" is being conformed to His Son (even when the "good" looks really "bad").

Sometimes I can see the good that is coming from the bad stuff of life. I can see how it's changing me and conforming me to be more like Christ; I can see how down the road it's working out to be better than what I had planned. Sometimes I can't see that right away, but in retrospect it becomes clear.

What I'm working on is giving thanks in the moment for the things that seem bad to me, the things that I don't like or understand. That's harder. It's also what God commands: don't be anxious, but pray with thanksgiving; give thanks in everything.

It doesn't change the circumstances, but I find that it changes me. I get a better perspective on things and remember that God is ultimately in control. I lose that anxiety and worry that would otherwise plague me and I'm more relaxed. Even if I don't understand why things are happening the way they are, I am more able to trust God for the outcome. And when I pray with thanksgiving, I find that there are things in every situation to be thankful for, things that I would have overlooked otherwise.

So I'm trying to be thankful in all circumstances. It isn't always easy, but it is an act of obedience and I have discovered that God blesses even feeble attempts to obey Him.

What I'm Thankful For

my family

my church family

my pastor's willingness to preach direct sermons on tough issues without worrying about making people feel bad

my pastor's love for God, the Bible, and the church family

my Sunday School class

friends

flowers

books

Sunday afternoons

my job

life

What I'm Thankful for Today

1. My Sunday School class. They're usually bright, funny, and great to be around (and I say this after kicking one of them out today...but the rest were angels after that)!
2. My home. It's small, but it fits me nicely. It's warm, comfortable, and full of books.
3. The 7 boxes of books that have been donated to the church library over the past 2 Sundays.
4. The 2 new bookcases that we have in the church library! They're on wheels, so we can move them out of the way if we need to when the library is closed.
5. The weather has been wonderful lately.
6. Being surrounded by books.
7. Friends
8. Family (I can see nicely framed pictures of my sister's babies from where I'm sitting).
9. Value Village, where I found the frames for the pictures of the babies.
10. My church family
11. The 2 people who are interested in teaching Junior Church as well as the current teachers. It looks like I may have enough people to staff Junior Church and Sunday School in the fall and to give a couple teachers a break.
12. Spring. Everything is green and alive and there are flowers and it's all so lovely!

Thankful

I've been emotionally messed lately and somewhat grumpy, so to remedy it (and in honour of American Thanksgiving this weekend), here's what I'm thankful for.

1. I have the final Eragon book. I haven't read much yet, but I plan to read a lot on Friday. I'm torn between wanting to make it last (since it's really the last one) and wanting to find out how it ends. I had it delivered to work (I'm not home when UPS comes) and was reading it while my student was doing math last night. We were laughing about the description on the front flap; near the end it asks, "But will they topple the evil king and restore justice to Alagaesia?" Um...yeah...probably, or the whole series becomes a giant disappointment, and the author will have to get into witness protection or some such thing.

2. On Monday my new pants arrived in the mail (because I don't like shopping; I like clicking buttons and having things shipped straight to me). They fit beautifully and don't have to be hemmed....and they're a size smaller than I had originally thought I needed.

3. Christmas is coming and my mum assures me that there will soon be a box of presents heading my way!

4. God is incredibly patient with me, even when I let emotions rule for a while before I remember to turn to Him.

5. No matter what happens, God is in control and I can turn to Him.

6. I have an amazing church family.

7. Chocolate, in many, many forms.

8. Tomorrow is Thursday. Thursday evenings are my happy times. First, I get to have supper with a friend and her family and can be part of a family for a while. Then it's Bible study time and I love my Bible study group; plus, we're studying Romans and I love Romans.

9, I got free samples in the mail yesterday: 2 teabags, one for dark chocolate chai tea and one for vanilla bean chai tea.

10. Last night I watched Fiddler on the Roof. I'm thankful for a TV, and a DVD player, and musicals.

Various Things to be Thankful For....

Bringing ice cream and olives to Thanksgiving dinner and leaving with apple pie, enough leftovers for two meals, and extra ham.

Spending time being silly with one child, learning about lego kingdoms and reading books with another child, and laughing with the adults while we "played" the Worst Case Scenario game.

Knowing how to: survive a kidnapping, recognize when a ship is coming to rescue me (and not kidnap me), eat a frog or a lizard, and recognize a harvest ant bite.

Keeping bulletins in my bible cover so that I am able to hand them over, one by one, to a little imp sitting next to me in church to keep her busy drawing all over the back.

A certain little imp who sits with me in church and draws pictures of Miss Dorothy and Miss Dorothy's house (which looks nothing like my house, given that I live in an apartment).

Having an apartment of my own so that I can have books stacked wherever I want....which is most of everywhere.

That in Edmonton, Criminal Minds is on peasant vision, so I can indulge every Wednesday evening (which is what I'm doing right now).