When Mum was visiting, she brought me a pile of stuff from my childhood, including some stuff that I had written in grade 7. I thought I should share, so I bring you this amazing piece of literature:
The Kangaroo
The kangaroo was very vain. Now you may wonder what he had to be vain about, because he wasn't very pretty, or smart. But he was vain. You see, the kangaroo was the best jumper in the jungle. Now, everyone knew that because he was always bragging. Even at the rabbit's wedding!
"You may get married, but I can hop faster," he said.
Finally, the rabbit went up to him and said, "I think you brag too much."
The kangaroo just gasped, and lunged at the rabbit. The rabbit hopped as fast as he could, but the kangaroo went faster. Ahead was a wall. The rabbit jumped up, and what he saw made his heart miss a beat. Down he jumped, barely missing the wall, and what was behind it.
Up came the kangaroo, and sailed over the wall. Splash! [in the original, I drew water drops around the word Splash!] He landed in an alligator pool! The rabbit hopped over the wall again, while the kangaroo splashed around wildly, and full of fear. When he got out, he never bragged again.
Moral: Look before you leap!
There you go: amazing literature from a younger me. Can you believe I only got 8.5/10 on that? It may be because there are no jungles in Australia (although there are rain forests). There are also no alligators in Australia. I probably lost marks because of geographical confusion.
Showing posts with label nonsense. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nonsense. Show all posts
Friday, 23 June 2017
Saturday, 7 March 2015
I am Not a Vegetarian
One Sunday I was talking with my class about the idea of giving up meat if it caused a fellow believer to sin. They were horrified at the very thought. I love that class. One of them argued that squirrels are fruit because we get them from trees. It was an interesting thought (and yes, he has shot and eaten a squirrel).
Anyway, I bring you my justification for not killing vegetables:
Anyway, I bring you my justification for not killing vegetables:
Saturday, 14 February 2015
Stories That Didn't Happen
From some old notebooks, I give you the start of some stories.
First, an introduction to a fairy tale or fantasy:
The problem with being a princess in a small kingdom like Kalden, though Marlynda, was that you got all of the restrictions and inconveniences, but none of the perks, of being a princess.
That's as far as that one got. This one may have been based on real life:
She took eight buses every day, and all eight of them were noisy. There were the crowds of students (high school and college) chattering loudly, and not always in English either. Too bad, because that cut down greatly on her eavesdropping. There was usually at least one crying baby or cranky kid, and a mother's constant refrain of "sit down...I said sit down...properly...sit down now!" She didn't know why they bothered; even if the kid did sit down, it was never for longer than half a minute at best. Which isn't to say that there weren't some good kids on the buses; just not all that many.
This next one just stops part way through a sentence:
A state of utter confusion is not always a bad thing. It can keep you from seeing what is truly terrible by keeping you busy trying to understand what really is. Plus, it can be a lot of fun. Take, for example, the classroom of James T. Barker. The grade four students
I have no idea where that sentence was going. I was either interrupted or realized that I didn't actually know what was up with those students!
First, an introduction to a fairy tale or fantasy:
The problem with being a princess in a small kingdom like Kalden, though Marlynda, was that you got all of the restrictions and inconveniences, but none of the perks, of being a princess.
That's as far as that one got. This one may have been based on real life:
She took eight buses every day, and all eight of them were noisy. There were the crowds of students (high school and college) chattering loudly, and not always in English either. Too bad, because that cut down greatly on her eavesdropping. There was usually at least one crying baby or cranky kid, and a mother's constant refrain of "sit down...I said sit down...properly...sit down now!" She didn't know why they bothered; even if the kid did sit down, it was never for longer than half a minute at best. Which isn't to say that there weren't some good kids on the buses; just not all that many.
This next one just stops part way through a sentence:
A state of utter confusion is not always a bad thing. It can keep you from seeing what is truly terrible by keeping you busy trying to understand what really is. Plus, it can be a lot of fun. Take, for example, the classroom of James T. Barker. The grade four students
I have no idea where that sentence was going. I was either interrupted or realized that I didn't actually know what was up with those students!
Friday, 3 October 2014
Some Nonsense for Friday
I found this last night while reading over some old writing:
Bob the paperclip was very lonely. He lived in a kitchen drawer with a lot of other stuff. Bob tried to be friendly with the other inhabitants but to no avail. The elastic bands snapped at him, the twist ties tried to shut him up, and the pair of scissors was very cutting. Bob learned to keep himself in a dark corner.
That's all I wrote. I don't know where I was going with that one.
I am trying to get back into writing (which is why I'm digging out old notebooks and finding bits of stories and stuff). Maybe I'll figure out the adventures of Bob the paperclip.
Bob the paperclip was very lonely. He lived in a kitchen drawer with a lot of other stuff. Bob tried to be friendly with the other inhabitants but to no avail. The elastic bands snapped at him, the twist ties tried to shut him up, and the pair of scissors was very cutting. Bob learned to keep himself in a dark corner.
That's all I wrote. I don't know where I was going with that one.
I am trying to get back into writing (which is why I'm digging out old notebooks and finding bits of stories and stuff). Maybe I'll figure out the adventures of Bob the paperclip.
Wednesday, 16 November 2011
Thursday, 16 July 2009
Happy Henday!
You didn't know that tomorrow is Henday? It's a very important day that we set aside to celebrate chickens, a very important part of our diet. After all, they provide us with eggs and... well... chicken. Surely you plan to celebrate!
Perhaps an explanation is in order. Sunday evening a friend and her 6 year old son were driving me home from church when we crossed Anthony Henday Drive. The boy pointed out the Henday and then asked what a Henday is. His mom was nice enough to tell him that it was named after a person. I told him that it was the day set aside to celebrate chickens. He liked my version better (go figure). He laughed and asked when Henday is. I didn't know, so I asked him what he thought and he said "Friday." Then he asked how we celebrate Henday so his mom and I asked him what he thought (I should really think about the details before saying whatever comes to mind).
He wanted fireworks high up in the sky and balloons on the roof of the house. We convinced him that the celebration had to involve chickens, like drawing pictures of chickens or eating chicken. He agreed, adding that we can eat eggs too and sugar (all his celebrations have to involve sugar in some form).
I've already apologised to his mom for telling him about Henday. I hope he forgets, but he assures me that he won't, so I suspect they may be celebrating Henday soon. Well, as long as he stays away from fireworks it should be all good!
Happy Henday everyone!
Perhaps an explanation is in order. Sunday evening a friend and her 6 year old son were driving me home from church when we crossed Anthony Henday Drive. The boy pointed out the Henday and then asked what a Henday is. His mom was nice enough to tell him that it was named after a person. I told him that it was the day set aside to celebrate chickens. He liked my version better (go figure). He laughed and asked when Henday is. I didn't know, so I asked him what he thought and he said "Friday." Then he asked how we celebrate Henday so his mom and I asked him what he thought (I should really think about the details before saying whatever comes to mind).
He wanted fireworks high up in the sky and balloons on the roof of the house. We convinced him that the celebration had to involve chickens, like drawing pictures of chickens or eating chicken. He agreed, adding that we can eat eggs too and sugar (all his celebrations have to involve sugar in some form).
I've already apologised to his mom for telling him about Henday. I hope he forgets, but he assures me that he won't, so I suspect they may be celebrating Henday soon. Well, as long as he stays away from fireworks it should be all good!
Happy Henday everyone!
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