As you may know (if you read my last post), on Sunday we're moving into our own church building, after 11 years and 3 months of planning, praying, waiting, and longing. It's a big time in the life of our church.
I have two definite feelings (or sets of feelings) about this, and I tend to feel them at the same time.
First, there is the joy, excitement, and delight at moving, at the new building, and at not having to move again after this one, or set-up-and-take-down every week, or haul stuff around. I can move all the Sunday School material that has been stored in my closet to the new building and leave it there. Also, the building is beautiful. The classrooms and the library are bigger than I pictured (the building plans meant nothing to me, except to count how many rooms there are). It's all fun and exciting and happiness.
And then there's the other feeling. We had the fun and exciting and happiness 11 years and 3 months ago when we started the church. It was a good time, and everything was new, and we looked forward to this day when we'd have a building of our own. But so many of the people who were there that Sunday won't be there this Sunday. Some have died, some have moved, and others have chosen to attend other churches. Mixed with all the happy emotion is the sorrow and grief and longing for those people, an almost overwhelming desire that they could all be here with us on Sunday.
I tried to find a word that describes how I've been feeling lately, but there doesn't seem to be one, and all my attempts have uncovered inadequate words. It's not ambivalent or bittersweet, since I don't have mixed feelings about the move (I'm genuinely excited about that). It's also not melancholy, since that focuses on the sorrow side (also, it's more of "sorrow with no discernible cause" and I know the cause). It's just....joy at what is, and a longing for what was, and the knowledge that things have changed we can't go back, and excitement about the future, and so many emotions at once!
English needs more words.
Tuesday, 31 January 2017
Sunday, 29 January 2017
My Church
Eleven years and three months ago, we started a new church. In that time, we've met in 2 hotels, 2 schools, and are currently renting space from another church.
This is our last Sunday in someone else's space, our last Sunday of renting space. Next Sunday, we will be in our own building.
It's been a wild trip getting there. We started off as a small group of people who wanted a church where the truth is preached, and whose foundation is Christ and Him crucified. Over the years, the church has grown, and grown, and grown more (both through people joining and people having babies).
To give you some idea of growth, based on my ministry (children, of course): When we started, we had 2 Sunday School classes from preschool-grade 6 (with only a few children in each class). I'm not sure there were enough children for a junior/senior high class (and the ones we had were all siblings or cousins), and Junior Church had about 4-5 children ranging in age from 3-8.
Currently, we have 5 Sunday School classes from preschool-grade 6, with over 60 children registered. Junior/senior high has up to 15 students each week, and that doesn't count the ones who attend the adult class. Junior Church was seeing about 18 children each week, and we cut the ages back to only 4 and 5 year olds (the 3 year olds are in the nursery, and the older children are in the service). I have no idea how many children are in the nursery, only that it's a lot.
There have been some bumpy spots along the way, but God has blessed us greatly in our desire to serve Him and to bring Him glory. He has given us godly pastors and elders who teach His word faithfully (even the tough parts), and who genuinely love God and the church. We don't really have impressive programs or an exciting children's ministry; we just teach the truth from Scripture every week. Far from turning people off or boring the children (both assumed if you don't have the right program with glitter and glitz and excitement), I have watched my students grow up and get baptized, confessing Jesus and Lord, and I have rejoiced at God's faithfulness.
Don't misunderstand: we're okay with having fun. There's a lot of laughter in the classes (and it's not all me laughing at the children). Sometimes the younger children colour, and we have silly Bible quizzes (such as "What is the 7th word in the 3rd chapter of Isaiah, based on the version I am looking at right now?"), and we enjoy ourselves. Sometimes we even laugh in the service (gasp!). It's just that our goal is not to have fun or make people laugh; it's to teach them solid, biblical truths, and to become more like Christ.
Today will close another chapter in the church's life: that of renting. Next week, we move into the building that He has provided, with its lovely Sunday School rooms and a library big enough for all our books. It's an exciting time.
This is our last Sunday in someone else's space, our last Sunday of renting space. Next Sunday, we will be in our own building.
It's been a wild trip getting there. We started off as a small group of people who wanted a church where the truth is preached, and whose foundation is Christ and Him crucified. Over the years, the church has grown, and grown, and grown more (both through people joining and people having babies).
To give you some idea of growth, based on my ministry (children, of course): When we started, we had 2 Sunday School classes from preschool-grade 6 (with only a few children in each class). I'm not sure there were enough children for a junior/senior high class (and the ones we had were all siblings or cousins), and Junior Church had about 4-5 children ranging in age from 3-8.
Currently, we have 5 Sunday School classes from preschool-grade 6, with over 60 children registered. Junior/senior high has up to 15 students each week, and that doesn't count the ones who attend the adult class. Junior Church was seeing about 18 children each week, and we cut the ages back to only 4 and 5 year olds (the 3 year olds are in the nursery, and the older children are in the service). I have no idea how many children are in the nursery, only that it's a lot.
There have been some bumpy spots along the way, but God has blessed us greatly in our desire to serve Him and to bring Him glory. He has given us godly pastors and elders who teach His word faithfully (even the tough parts), and who genuinely love God and the church. We don't really have impressive programs or an exciting children's ministry; we just teach the truth from Scripture every week. Far from turning people off or boring the children (both assumed if you don't have the right program with glitter and glitz and excitement), I have watched my students grow up and get baptized, confessing Jesus and Lord, and I have rejoiced at God's faithfulness.
Don't misunderstand: we're okay with having fun. There's a lot of laughter in the classes (and it's not all me laughing at the children). Sometimes the younger children colour, and we have silly Bible quizzes (such as "What is the 7th word in the 3rd chapter of Isaiah, based on the version I am looking at right now?"), and we enjoy ourselves. Sometimes we even laugh in the service (gasp!). It's just that our goal is not to have fun or make people laugh; it's to teach them solid, biblical truths, and to become more like Christ.
Today will close another chapter in the church's life: that of renting. Next week, we move into the building that He has provided, with its lovely Sunday School rooms and a library big enough for all our books. It's an exciting time.
Sunday, 22 January 2017
This Year's Focus
I have a lot of imagination. I spent my childhood years making up stories and putting myself into the books I read. It's a good thing, this imagination. It got me through tough times, and boring times, and and allowed me to escape when I needed to. It also, I think, has helped me put myself in someone else's shoes, to think about why he/she is acting or speaking in a certain way. I think it has given me more understanding and empathy.
Of course, as with all good things, there is also a down side. This imagination also lets me escape when I should be focusing, and when I just don't want to deal with things. I find myself in my own world too often instead of listening to people, and years of escaping into a daydream has made it a habit that needs to be controlled.
And then, when you couple an imagination with a tendency to worry, you get even more trouble. I can anticipate every possible outcome of any conversation or event, and most of what I imagine are the ways things could go wrong.
This is the trouble I have found in my own life lately (it's been there for a very, very long time, but I've only really been dealing with it lately): my thought life, and mostly this ability to escape through daydreams (where I am almost always the hero and other people in my life are the bad guys); or worry about the future; or not let go of the past (but reliving it and trying to "fix" whatever went wrong). It's one of the ways that God is pruning and weeding in my life, and it's been painful and tough to deal with, to admit that there is so much sin just in my thoughts, and to constantly confess it to God and seek His forgiveness. It's an ongoing battle, but He is patient and faithful to forgive me and give me ways to escape when my thoughts try to rule me.
So this is my focus for this year:
Of course, as with all good things, there is also a down side. This imagination also lets me escape when I should be focusing, and when I just don't want to deal with things. I find myself in my own world too often instead of listening to people, and years of escaping into a daydream has made it a habit that needs to be controlled.
And then, when you couple an imagination with a tendency to worry, you get even more trouble. I can anticipate every possible outcome of any conversation or event, and most of what I imagine are the ways things could go wrong.
This is the trouble I have found in my own life lately (it's been there for a very, very long time, but I've only really been dealing with it lately): my thought life, and mostly this ability to escape through daydreams (where I am almost always the hero and other people in my life are the bad guys); or worry about the future; or not let go of the past (but reliving it and trying to "fix" whatever went wrong). It's one of the ways that God is pruning and weeding in my life, and it's been painful and tough to deal with, to admit that there is so much sin just in my thoughts, and to constantly confess it to God and seek His forgiveness. It's an ongoing battle, but He is patient and faithful to forgive me and give me ways to escape when my thoughts try to rule me.
So this is my focus for this year:
Finally brethren,
whatever is true,
whatever is honorable,
whatever is right,
whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely,
whatever is of good repute,
if there is any excellence
and if anything worthy of praise,
dwell on these things.
Philippians 4:8
Sunday, 15 January 2017
First Lines
I have a lot on my mind, but nothing I'm ready to write about just yet. Instead, I'll give you the first lines of books I'm reading, recently finished reading, or plan to start reading next.
"In the 1700s in the New World, thirteen small British colonies hugged the Atlantic coast -- separate colonies, not one country."
"If you shall chance, Camillo, to visit Bohemia, on the like occasion whereon my services are now on foot, you shall see, as I have said, great difference betwixt our Bohemia and your Sicilia."
"The Jebel es Zubleh is a mountain fifty miles and more in length, and so narrow that its tracery on the map gives it a likeness to a caterpillar crawling from the south to the north."
"There was once a little princess whose father was a king over a great country full of mountains and valleys."
"Now consider the tortoise and the eagle."
"1. A point is that which has no part."
"Children, grace be with you. Amen."
"I didn't know how much I needed to read this book until after I'd written it."
"Some controversy is crucial for the sake of life-giving truth."
"In the 1700s in the New World, thirteen small British colonies hugged the Atlantic coast -- separate colonies, not one country."
"If you shall chance, Camillo, to visit Bohemia, on the like occasion whereon my services are now on foot, you shall see, as I have said, great difference betwixt our Bohemia and your Sicilia."
"The Jebel es Zubleh is a mountain fifty miles and more in length, and so narrow that its tracery on the map gives it a likeness to a caterpillar crawling from the south to the north."
"There was once a little princess whose father was a king over a great country full of mountains and valleys."
"Now consider the tortoise and the eagle."
"1. A point is that which has no part."
"Children, grace be with you. Amen."
"I didn't know how much I needed to read this book until after I'd written it."
"Some controversy is crucial for the sake of life-giving truth."
Friday, 6 January 2017
The First Week
We're just about a whole week into the new year. So far it seems to be okay. I've spent a lot of time thinking about things, and praying about things, and pondering who I want to be this year and what I want it to look like. Pastor James preached this sermon on New Year's Day, and it has me thinking about forgetting what is behind and focusing on what is ahead, and what I need to do in that regard. I've also been re-listening to this sermon from last summer, about the need for revival, and pondering that as well
Last year was rough in a lot of ways, and I didn't always respond well to the trials and pressures. This year I want things to be different. Things need to be different. I need to be different. As always, I have big ideas on how to make big changes, but we all know how that goes: really well for a few weeks, and then things slide back into old routines.
Instead, I'm praying a lot and waiting on God. I'm seeing the little things that need to be changed: forms of entertainment that I need to cut out because they distract me from what is important; ways of thinking that I need to stop when they sneak up on me; temptations that seem innocent but keep me focused on the world and not God.
To be clear: last year was not all bad. There were good things that happened, and God did a lot of work in my life. He made clear some sins that I was clinging to that needed to be confessed and repented of (both to Him and, sometimes, other people). He used the faithful preaching of His word by my pastors to move me closer to Him (sometimes by gently nudging, and sometimes by significantly less gentle means). I can see where He has been working in my life, pruning and shaping me, and smoothing out rough edges. It's been painful, but I can see the benefits, and I'm thankful for His work and the love that prompts Him to keep conforming me to His Son.
We'll see what this year brings. I want to know God better this year. It think it will require work, and it may be painful at times, but I also know that it is more than worth it to be more conformed to the likeness of Christ.
Last year was rough in a lot of ways, and I didn't always respond well to the trials and pressures. This year I want things to be different. Things need to be different. I need to be different. As always, I have big ideas on how to make big changes, but we all know how that goes: really well for a few weeks, and then things slide back into old routines.
Instead, I'm praying a lot and waiting on God. I'm seeing the little things that need to be changed: forms of entertainment that I need to cut out because they distract me from what is important; ways of thinking that I need to stop when they sneak up on me; temptations that seem innocent but keep me focused on the world and not God.
To be clear: last year was not all bad. There were good things that happened, and God did a lot of work in my life. He made clear some sins that I was clinging to that needed to be confessed and repented of (both to Him and, sometimes, other people). He used the faithful preaching of His word by my pastors to move me closer to Him (sometimes by gently nudging, and sometimes by significantly less gentle means). I can see where He has been working in my life, pruning and shaping me, and smoothing out rough edges. It's been painful, but I can see the benefits, and I'm thankful for His work and the love that prompts Him to keep conforming me to His Son.
We'll see what this year brings. I want to know God better this year. It think it will require work, and it may be painful at times, but I also know that it is more than worth it to be more conformed to the likeness of Christ.
Sunday, 1 January 2017
My Nonfiction Choices
First, some numbers for you concerning my reading habits this year:
64 nonfiction
46 fiction
1 book of poetry
1 allegory (I'm never sure how to classify Pilgrim's Progress, as fiction or nonfiction. In the church library, we call it "Classic Christian Literature".)
Okay, here are my top picks (I didn't add notes to all of these titles because there ended up being a lot of them)....
It's 2017 now, and I have a stack of books already picked out to start reading!
64 nonfiction
46 fiction
1 book of poetry
1 allegory (I'm never sure how to classify Pilgrim's Progress, as fiction or nonfiction. In the church library, we call it "Classic Christian Literature".)
Okay, here are my top picks (I didn't add notes to all of these titles because there ended up being a lot of them)....
- Idols of the Heart by Elyse Fitzpatrick
- Romans by R.C. Sproul (easy-to-read and in-depth commentary)
- Theological Fitness by Aimee Byrd (a not-pink-or-fluffy book written for women....she seems to grasp that women can think!)
- A Gospel Primer for Christians by Milton Vincent
- Ordinary by Michael Horton (to balance the idea that if you're not doing big things for God, what you're doing isn't enough)
- Sanctification: The Christian’s Pursuit of God-Given Holiness by Michael Riccardi;
- The Story of Everything by Jared C. Wilson
- The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer
- John Calvin and His Passion for the Majesty of God by John Piper
- Good News for Weary Women by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick (I think I would recommend it for all Christian women, and for some men as well)
- Filling Up the Afflictions of Christ and Seeing Beauty and Saying it Beautifully (from "The Swans are Not Silent" series) by John Piper (each book has 3 short biographies linked by a common theme; I'm working my way through the series)
- The Wright Brothers by David McCullough
- Spiritual Discipleship by J. Oswald Sanders
- Fair Sunshine by Jock Purves (about the lives and martyrdom of the Scottish Covenanters)
- Father, Son, and Holy Spirit by Bruce A. Ware
- The Power of Prayer in Believer’s Life by Charles Spurgeon (so many good things!)
- For the Glory by Duncan Hamilton (about Eric Liddell, a great man)
- The Blessing of Humility by Jerry Bridges (one of my favourite authors; both deep and accessible)
- Out of the Blues by Wayne Mack
- Parables by John MacArthur
- 30-Second Astronomy, editor Francois Fressin (I just ignored the evolutionary bias and enjoyed learning about space)
- The Totally Useless History of Science by Ian Crofton (it's just fun)
- What is the Mission of the Church by Kevin DeYoung and Greg Gilbert
- The Hole in Our Holiness and What Does the Bible Really Teach About Homosexuality? by Kevin DeYoung (I'm pretty sure I would read a grocery list if Kevin DeYoung wrote it!)
It's 2017 now, and I have a stack of books already picked out to start reading!
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