Disobedience and Blessings

I know, all the time, that I don't deserve God's love and forgiveness and blessings. Sometimes, though, it seems extra clear that what I deserve has nothing to do with what I get.

Today....was a very bad day (or at least a bad morning). In fact, it's been a rough week or so. I'm so busy with work and school and stuff and I've been overwhelmed and overloaded. And, in the midst of it all, I've been pushing aside prayer and time spent in the Word (yes, while I've been writing a paper on the epistles of John....go figure). And, eventually, it affected my attitude hugely.

So today was not a day to be proud of. And then, at the end of it, He handed me a little, unexpected break and blessing. And it was enough to stop me in my tracks and lead me to repentance.

I makes me wonder, too. Here I was ignoring God and walking straight into a sinful attitude, and He very gently and kindly reminded me that He is here and He loves me no matter what and nudged me back where I belonged. There have been other times, though, when He's pulled out the big guns and knocked me back in line and it was very painful. I wonder, though, if He tried gentleness then too and I ignored Him, or took the blessings for granted.

I think that I need to pay attention to all of God's blessings and to always remember that I don't deserve them, and be thankful.