Men

It’s interesting to watch the men here and compare them to the men at work (well, most of the men at work). Most of the men at work are nice guys (because we don’t generally hire jerks), but they tend to be very, very self-centered and focused on what will make them happiest. They do what needs to be done and don’t worry about helping others unless they are asked (and even then if it doesn’t inconvenience them). Don’t get me wrong: they are relatively harmless and not bad people, and there are a couple notable exceptions to my overall judgment.

But here it’s different. Here the men are quick to help, to offer help (even with little things), and to make sure everyone is cared for. I know that if I asked a small favor, they wouldn’t fuss at all; they would be happy to help. Most of the time I don’t have to ask; they are quick to notice what someone needs or wants or might want. They’re fun and they’re great to have around and there’s always a lot of laughter and then deep talk. They’re tough guys who know that their responsibility is to care for those who are smaller or weaker. And they’re totally gentle when they should be. (Just so no one gets any ideas: they’re also all married.) They’re good guys and I feel safe with them.

There’s this guy I’ve worked with for years. One of our other co-workers has tried to convince me that we should try dating. I always refuse to consider it. He’s a nice guy, funny, maybe a bit too much of a geek, but nice enough. He’s also an atheist, so I refuse to even consider it. My refusal is based on Biblical reasoning: do not be yoked with unbelievers. After this week and my observations and thoughts, I would refuse on pragmatic (and possibly selfish) reasons as well. It will be better for me, and happier for me, to have a man like the men here, and that guy at work is nothing like these guys. They co-worker is a really nice guy and by most standards would be considered a pretty good catch. Compared to what I’m seeing here, though, he is sadly lacking.

I understand that there are some very nice non-Christian guys. I think there are some Christian guys who are jerks (or at least who annoy me). There are also men in the church who aren’t really Christians, or who are barely Christians, or who are so focused on theology that they forget about the parts of the Bible concerning treating others. As a general principle though, I trust the Christian guys more and find them to be better to have around. When I think about the men in my church, they’re the same: good guys, fun, friendly, caring, and completely safe and trust worthy.

Biblical reasons are enough to refuse to become involved with a non-Christian, but my observation is that there are pragmatic reasons as well.