Competition

I have mixed feelings about competition.

We have contests at work sometimes, and we play games with a set winner. The kids sometimes get very competitive, but it's for a short period, someone wins, and they all get on with life. We have contests in Sunday School and some of the kids get very competitive (and then we talk about perspective and showing grace). Some people have told me that we should never have a contest with a winner because it's the wrong way to motivate children, and the ones who don't win feel bad, blah, blah, blah. I obviously disagree. I think there are wrong ways to do competition. I don't make it such a big deal that the ones who don't win feel bad forever, and I make sure there is always another chance to win. I also make the contests and such optional, so no one has to participate (I don't like people trying to force me to be competitive so I won't do it to the children). At work, every hour there's another transition time with a game to play, so every hour there can be a different winner. Plus, a lot of the children just like playing, even if they don't win. We keep it fun. In Sunday School, everyone has the opportunity to win the monthly prizes (it's based on who gets the most points for memory work that month, so in theory they could all win every month if they all do the memory work every week). If the person in charge keeps it fun and fair, I don't have a problem.

I can be competitive at times. I like to be right and I like to win. I did multiple quizzes with my nephew when we were on vacation. We tried to win them all (except classic rock, which we gave up on quickly and started making stuff up and gave ourselves half points for synonyms and putting down "not the Beatles" for the artist once). We did not win a single one. We got on with life and were not unduly upset. This competition did not hurt us; it ended up being something fun we could do together.

On the other hand, I can see where competition can be a bad thing. I see it in myself when I can't let go of things because I have to be right, like I'm competing against people to see who is the smartest. I see it in children's sports where winning is so important that coaches and parents yell at children who make mistakes, expecting them to be perfect. I see it in parents who don't think 90s are high enough marks for their children; they have to be better than everyone else. It's that step above "do your best" to "you have to be better than anyone because that is what defines you" and the idea that winning a competition makes you a better person (rather than better at something) and that you can look down on the losers that makes me dislike competition.

It's that desire to be better than everyone. The Bible teaches us to work hard, to work for the Lord and not for men (Colossians 3:23), so of course we should do our best, and trying to win is not a problem. At the same time, it tells us to consider others better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3-4), so even in competition we need to think about others and how our actions might be affecting them. Which is not to say "you have to lose so others won't feel bad" but "as you play and if you win, remember that it's not more important than this person sitting across from you".

In general, I think competition can be a good things. It can encourage people to do their best, it can be fun, and it can prepare children for the adult world where competition is real. On the other hand, competition can be a problem if it's forced on people, if winning becomes the most important thing is life, and if winners get the idea that they are better people because they win.