They story I'm currently reading has some nice insults:
"I envy the people who haven't met you."
"Somewhere, a tree is crying because it worked so hard to make that oxygen you're wasting.”
"You remind me of someone I’d like to forget."
"You’re so dense, light bends around you."
“As an outsider, what's your perspective on intelligence?"
But my favourite comes from the movie Billy Madison:
"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
Yes, they're all a little (or more) mean, and no, I'm not likely to use them (although there are times as a teacher when the Billy Madison quote comes to mind). I still think they're funny.
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