Comfort Food

I've been thinking about comfort food today.

For lunch I had hash browns: I fry them up in some butter; while they're frying I beat a couple of eggs with some spices (salt, pepper, whatever sounds good) and then mix them into the hash browns fast (it has to be mixed before the eggs start to cook). Sprinkle on some cheese, turn down the heat, cover, and let sit until the eggs are cooked and the cheese is melted. Technically I think it's a side dish, but it works nicely as lunch. Yeah it doesn't sound like much, but Mum used to make them for us and they are my number one comfort food.

Then there's Kraft Dinner. The real stuff, with the bright orange cheese, in the blue box. Yes, I should have outgrown it by now but....when I was in Taiwan and missing home I learned about the American Box Store with food imported from the states. I was homesick enough to pay $4.00 for a box of KD. And it was worth it.

Finally, on my list is Campbells Tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches. During that same time in Taiwan my baby sister, bless her, mailed me 2 cans of soup. It was pure happiness.

Those are my main comfort foods, the ones I want when life is too big or I'm too far from home or, on a day like today, when I'm relaxing and happy and avoiding the big, cold outside world.

So....'fess up. What are your comfort foods?

A Request for Next Christmas...

Someone please tell Keona (my 6 year old niece) that Auntie Dorothy does not need Hannah Montana cookies. Auntie Dorothy does appreciate the thought, but the cookies are rather bland (although they do have pretty pink sprinkles). Next year Auntie Dorothy needs chocolate cookies instead.

Thank you.

Christmas Morning

Christmas morning was interesting. Usually on Christmas morning there are other people; this year it was just me. There have been other years that I've been alone Christmas morning (although not many) but this one was different. Usually they either don't really feel like Christmas or I am lonely and wishing I was elsewhere. This year it felt like Christmas and I enjoyed it.

Christmas Eve I read from Isaiah 9 and John 1: promises of the coming Messiah and the Word becoming flesh. It is amazing, both that Isaiah was talking about Him hundreds of years before His birth and that He came.

Christmas morning I woke up slowly. I read from Matthew 1 and 2 and Luke 2 of the coming of the Messiah. There was time to stop and reflect and pray.

Eventually I did open presents, but slowly, taking time to enjoy everything and to think about the presents and the people who sent them. There was no reason to hurry, so I didn't. It may be the most relaxed I've ever been.

Now, eventually I did spend time with other people. I headed off to Pastor Lyle and Joan's in the afternoon. It wasn't so quiet then! When their son and his family arrived it took only a moment for the smallest (she's 3) to take her place on my lap so she could look at pictures with me. There were games and dinner and a lot of laughter. And that was just as much fun as the morning had been.

It was a very nice Christmas. And it came without the post-holiday let down. Yes, the presents are open and the food is eaten and it's technically over. But it isn't really, is it? Because the Word became flesh and unto us a child was born and that hasn't changed.

Merry Christmas

And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.
~John 1:14

For today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.
~Luke 2:11

Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.
~Luke 2:14

Light at Christmas

The people who walk in darkness
Will see a great light;
Those who live in a dark land,
The light will shine on them.
~Isaiah 9:2

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkenss did not comprehend [overcome] it.
~John 1:1-5

Then Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life."
~John 8:12

This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.
~1 John 1:5-7

A sign that you live too far north...

When the weather man says "right now it's -14" and you think "oh, good, it warmed up."

Getting Books

Today I had 2 parcel notices in the mail so I went off in the snow and chill to get them. I would have waited but the temperature is due to drop sharply so I thought I'd better go right away. The first parcel was from my mum and dad: Christmas presents. It's tucked away where I won't be tempted to open it just yet! The other parcel was a box of books I had ordered from Reformation Heritage books. They are beautiful books, but that's about all I can say since most of them are Christmas presents. Although I also got John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress Part Three which I did not know existed for myself. Anyway, it's not the books I'm writing about; it's the packing.

The box was larger than I expected, but I figured it was all paper and packing material or it would have been much bigger. When I opened it, I found that about a third of it was full of paper and cardboard and whatever it took to fill it up. The rest was taken up by another box, fully sealed and labelled...why they needed the bigger box is a mystery to me. I got the smaller box open to find that it was half full of packing peanuts. Then I got to the books...almost. They were wrapped carefully in bubble wrap and a thin sheet of foam wrapping. After that I got to two of the books (wrapped in plastic) and a brown paper package. In the package were the other two books, also wrapped in the thin sheet of foam wrapping.

Nothing was going to hurt these books!

The Three Musketeers

I finally finished this book; it took three weeks. It is really, really, really good! It's well-written, interesting, and ends well. I was fully prepared to dislike it (although I'm not sure why; probably because it's long, classic literature). I was surprised by how completely I enjoyed it.

As a side note: the character of Milady is the evilest character ever written. Seriously, the movie does not do her justice; she is EVIL. She is so bad that the elder (the one who told me to read it) said that his brother threw the book across the room during one of her scenes.

Go read The Three Musketeers. Trust me on this one.

If Anyone's Looking for Me....

I'm at work. I'm busy dealing with parents and students and teachers and bosses and numbers and papers and reports and programs and stuff.

I am also busy wondering why I went back to that job and if I will ever get things under control and fixed up and when I will find a new teacher to hire.

I'll be fine....eventually....when Christmas comes and I can stop.

Why You Should Get to Read the Course Syllabus Before Registering for the Course

Because then you can avoid courses with the following words:

"write a seventeen page summary"
"complete EXAMS"
"write a ten page summary/response"
"read 300 pages and write an eight page summary and response"
"there are 12 short exams"
"WRITE a twelve page paper"

All of those words showed up on page 3 and 4 of the syllabus for Apologetics. Once my heart started beating again I was able to read more carefully and relax a bit. Each exam is based on two chapters of one of the books and has one to twelve multiple choice and true/false questions, so they aren't really exams; they're more like quizzes. Also, I have six months to complete the work so it isn't that much.

I think it was the lack of due dates that threw me. Everything has to be done by May 25 and all the homeword has to be submitted together. When I have a course outline that says "by this date submit this assignment...." for each paper (with dates spread out over the six months) it looks more manageable. Now I have to manage my own time. This will be a learning experience in itself!

What I'm Reading

I did a sweep of my apartment to gather up all the books I'm in the process of reading. Here they are, in no particular order:

1. The Mortifiction of Sin by John Owen. In the name of complete honesty: I'm actually reading the Puritan Paperback, "abridged and made easy to read by Richard Rushing" version. We're reading it for our Bible study. It's good, needs to be read carefully (and sometimes more than once) to understand, and is very convicting.
2. I Am a Pencil by Sam Swope. This is the story of a writer who "adopted" a class for three years (grades 3-5) as their writing teacher and mentor. It's interesting, especially the students' writing.
3. Did I Kiss Marraige Goodbye? by Carolyn McCulley. To answer the first question everyone asks (or assumes): it is not related to I Kissed Dating Goodbye, although I think Josh Harris is Carolyn's pastor (and suggested the title). It presents singleness as a gift, not a burden, that is given by God for a purpose.
4. Evangelical Feminism by Wayne Grudem. I picked this up at Masters last summer because it looked interesting. It looks closely at what Scripture says about the role of women as well as at the problems with the arguments made by feminists.
5. Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges. A friend and I are going through this book (and the discussion guide) together. A word of warning: if you want to be happy and content with yourself and how relatively "good" you are, don't read this book! It's tough stuff, especially when combined with the Owen book.
6. The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas. One of the elders has been after me to read this, among other classics that he feels that I should have read; in fact, it's disgraceful that I could be an English major and not have read certain books (ignoring the fact that The Three Musketeers was originally written in French). I finally got it from the library so that I could say that I started it, it was too boring, and I refused to complete it. Problem: it's really, really good. It's well-written and holds my attention. Now he's going to expect me to take his advice on all books.

That's it for now: only 6 books on the go. They're all good and I recommend all of them. Happy reading!

Just for Fun

Go play here. Have fun.

Back to School

Well, it's been a very nice week of not reading textbooks or writing essays or studying for exams. Now I'm ready to get back to work. I got the information and sent in the registration form for the independent study courses.

Next up is Apologetics. According to the course description, I will examine evidences for the Christian faith from such fields as science, history, archaeology, and philosophy. I'm looking forward to the history and archeology parts, and maybe the science section will explain the parts of "Case for a Creator" that were over my head. Philosophy...well...we'll see.

I love being a student. A break was nice, but I'm excited about getting started again.

Bits of Stuff

Today I came home from church and thought "okay, what do I have to do today." I had a chapter to read for tomorrow evening's Bible Study (and it's a short chapter that I can read on the bus tomorrow morning or during my lunch break) and I have to do a couple loads of laundry (that I'm doing as I write this). That's all. I've caught up on everything else. Not that there aren't things I couldn't be doing, but for today I can actually stop doing and rest.

I taught the 3-6 year olds this morning in Children's Church. We're learning about Jeremiah. Because this is my class and I can't help myself we also learn phonics, so all the students know when they've found "Jeremiah" in the Bible (we only talked about the J-e-r, but it's enough). And they know that "36" is a 3 and a 6, so most of them can find that too. When we were in Kings (1 and 2) we spent so much time there that they could actually open to it and show me that they were in the right book. They may not remember the acual stories, but they will know phonics and numbers!

My apartment is full of flowers today. Last weekend some of the 8-12 year old girls were here for a sleepover and that Sunday one of the moms brought me flowers from the girls. Some of them (the dyed ones) didn't quite last the week, but there are some very bright and cheery pink and white flowers in a vase on my table. Then this morning at church I was the recipient of the Encouragement Bouquet (every week someone recieves the flowers and is prayed for specially) and so there is a beautiful bouquet of orange and red and green in the kitchen. Then there are the flowers that break off that are in a cup in my bedroom. I love getting flowers.

So far being back at Southside is going well. It has its challenges, but things are getting straightened out and organized and fixed up nicely. The staff has been great about helping out; in fact, under the former director they had simply started doing things themselves to make sure it got done properly and on time, so they're used to pitching in (and they were really good about it before as well, only now they forget that they don't have to worry so they keep doing stuff).

So there you are: an update on me. I'll try to post more regularly again now that I feel less overwhelmed by life (and now that I'm not tired of (and from) writing all the time).

Done

The last essay is done and submitted. No more table cluttered with papers and books and pencils and sticky notes and note pads and binders and highlighters and bowls of goldfish crackers and m&m's (although that last one wasn't so bad).

32 pages
8131 words
22 sources

Right now I'm free!

Back at Southside

And so, after 6 months, I'm back at Southside in the director position. The director they hired to replace me has "moved on to other opportunities" (and I had a 12 year old in the centre last night who accurately translated that little phrase). I'm not sure how I feel about it; you may remember the countdown in the spring when I was leaving that position. It will take a lot of work to get it back in shape again too.

But there are some things to be thankful for....

1. It's a shorter bus ride. I'm saving an hour each day. That's a lot of time.

2. I finished at least the rough draft of my last major paper before making the switch. Editing and revising can be done on the bus or over lunch so that stress is gone.

3. Most of the teachers there are ones I trained myself and they're happy to have me back (so is the one new teacher and she doesn't even know me yet).

So it's not all bad. In fact, it may turn out to be very good.

Answered Prayer

So, the stress has been mounting. There are papers due (big papers, due soon) and now (as always) work stuff. I spent Thanksgiving weekend working on the paper on 2 Peter and it's no where near where it should be. My centre director leaves for a 2 week vacation next week and I'm going to be working at two centres (and may get transfered in November, but more on that when it's final) and I've been praying for help and strength and the ability to keep on (which is what I always seem to be praying for).....

Last month we submitted "Research Proposal 2" for the paper due next Wednesday (the same 2 Peter paper of the above paragraph). Today we finally got word that the marks were posted and the proposals are being mailed back and because they're so late being returned and contain notes and such that may benefit us.....

The due date has been moved to November 10. That's 19 more days. So now I can leave 2 Peter, focus on the other paper, and get both of them done and done well. And deal with work. And not have 2 major papers due during the weeks that I'm working alone and at 2 centres.

I missed Thanksgiving proper, but today I am very thankful.

27 Days

I have 2 papers due in October. Long papers; the 30 page or more type.

If anyone needs me, I'll be hiding out reading and writing and rewriting and eating goldfish crackers and yelling in frustration because all the books have a different opinion and I will never survive this!!!

The last paper is due in 27 days, 1 hour, and 59 minutes (according to my computer clock).

In 28 days I will rejoin civilization.

Slowing Down

I've gotten into the habit of living life fast. I'm always in a hurry to get here or there, afraid of being late or wasting time or something. And, for the record, I am in favour of being on time and using time wisely. I think, though, that it becomes so much a habit that it's hard to slow down and I think it's important to slow down or life becomes too overwhelming and I stop sleeping properly and feel that I'm falling even further behind.....sort of like the past few weeks. At the very least I need to be in less of a hurry to get to places like the store or the library; there's no need to rush.

I know of 3 ways to slow down.
1. Get worn out and so exhausted that I couldn't rush even if I wanted to. This works but I don't recommend it! Not only is it bad for your health, it's also very discouraging and frustrating.

2. Consciously walk more slowly. I do that sometimes, usually when I'm on vacation and I realize that I'm walking very quickly (I-might-miss-the-bus speed) through a park. It takes some focus and reminders to myself to breath slowly and relax.

3. Borrow small children. That's what I did today; I had a 5-year old and a 3-year old come to play. I was able to relax and just play with them (happily ignoring the pile of research books shoved off to the side). Later we went for a walk with the skipping ropes and stopped to look at whatever caught their eye (they've never come to visit before so it was all new). It took 2 hours to walk to McDonalds (15 minutes alone when the lights are against me), eat lunch and walk back. Then we played more, cleaned up, and watched VeggieTales. They've gone home now but my mind is in "relax and slow down" mode.

It's funny: for me, having the kids is my time off to slow down and relax. For the parents, giving me the kids is their time off to slow down and relax! It's really a win-win situation.

Coping

Ever since the beginning of summer I've been waiting for life to slow down enough for me to catch up. Every time I think it's about to settle down, something else happens.

First there was school and moving; then things started happening at work: a teacher was put on bed rest and quit, another teacher kept getting sick (when she lost her voice half way through her shift we knew it was for real), I was teaching twice the number of hours I am supposed to plus trying to keep up with my regular work....but through it all we knew that it wouldn't last forever and summer would end.

Then there was that terrible week when the 2 teachers were out sick, my director was out sick on day and at the hospital waiting on her dad's surgery the next day, and then my grandmother died, and I was trying to cope at work, and then I made a very quick trip home for the funeral...but summer would end soon and life would relax.

And then it was September but instead of things returning to normal they picked up weirdness when I was "needed" in other centres around the city (with intense commutes but that's a post for another day) 2 days a week. And there was still schoolwork to be done. And somehow I managed to keep up (prayer...lots and lots of prayer).

This morning I got an email from my friend Jude. Her father died on Monday. He was in his late 70s and had been sick on and off (mostly complications due to the diabetes) for a long time. The first time I met him, probably close to 6 years ago (not too long after I moved to Edmonton) he learned that both my grandfathers died many years back. Having no grandfathers was not right, so he declared himself to be my grandpa. I loved Grandpa; he was a character! And now my heart hurts again. And I'm still praying for the strength for each day.

And I wonder: how much more does He think I can handle?

Library Cards

Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that today I acquired my 4th library card. Understand, that's the 4th currently valid library card, not 4th ever (I've had more than 4 at various times in the past but not 4 at once).

I know that some of you don't think there's anything great about that. The rest of you, though, understand the joy of having access to that many books!

The list:
1. Edmonton Public Library card...of course! I had that one on the 3rd day after moving here!
2. The Master's College library card....acquired early in July, and mostly useless when I'm not down there (although they will send me books if I really need them).
3. The Alberta Library (TAL) card....it allows me access to most libraries in Alberta, including the University of Alberta, which is the only place I've used it so far.
4. Taylor University College and Seminary library card....which does not accept any TAL card and requires external borrowers to pay ($15.00/6 months or $25.00/year) and is my most recently acquired card.

Life is good.

Journal Article Titles

I'm in the depths of looking for on-line journal articles for my paper on 2 Peter (I need at least 20 sources; so far I have 11). I have stumbled upon the archives for Journal of Higher Criticism and I feel the need to share some of the titles of the articles with you.

"From Lower Criticism to Higher Criticism: Joseph Priestley and the Use of Conjectural Emendation"

"Pentacostal Mutterings and Evangelical Blandishments"

"St. Ignatius: The Insidious Pragmatism of the Episkopoi of Rome and the Rise of Christianity"

"The Owen Hypothesis: An Essay Showing That it was Henry Owen Who First Formulated the So-called 'Griesbach Hypothesis'"

"Identification of the Bethany Youth in the Secret Gospel of Mark with other Figures Found in Mark and John,"

"Gunkel Versus Wellhausen: The Unfinished Task of the Religionsgeschichtliche Schule"

So...does anyone understand any of those?

Nehemiah

I've finished my paper on the book of Nehemiah. It was an immense relief to submit it and be done! Now, of course, I have to start on the next one.

The Nehemiah paper looked at issues of authorship, date, canonicity, etc. I was talking to a couple of friends when I was finishing it up and mentioned that I had a point in the essay that I hadn't backed up and I was trying to find the reference. It wasn't a major point but it did involve the question of authorship. One of them asked a very logical question: "Does it matter if we know who wrote Nehemiah?"

No, not really. Nehemiah is not ususally a "make it or break it" point for a person's faith. You don't hear salvation stories that include "Well, I was reading Nehemiah...."

But...if I was going to undermine Christianity, to convince people that there is no God and that the Bible isn't true, I wouldn't start with the big stuff; I wouldn't ask them to prove that God exists. Nope, I would start off small, maybe with a book like Nehemiah, one that seems less important.

It goes like this: well, we really don't know who wrote Nehemiah; it was probably written long after Nehemiah died; historical sources (i.e. non-biblical) show that whoever wrote it got history wrong (side note: when you hear this, check the sources yourself and see how old they are; more recent archeological findings actually prove the truth of biblical stories, etc, that were once deemed hisorically inaccurate or impossible); therefore you can't really trust this part of the Bible......and it slips doubt into the reliability of this part of the Bible which eventually leads to doubting the Bible as a whole....and the job is done.

And so Nehemiah may become a "make it or break it" point after all.

Open Caskets and Kids don't Mix

We had an open casket funeral for my grandmother. Before the funeral (and happily before many people were there) I was at the casket with Keona, my niece. She will be six next month. She had questions (as always).
The conversation went something like this:

Keona: Why are the flowers there? They're in the way and we can't see all of her.
Me: Well, you only need to see the top of her, like her face. That's the part that we look at and talk to, right?

She did not look convinced.

Keona: Why does she have a pillow?
Me: Um...it looks nicer.

She was okay with this.

Keona: Is she sleeping?
Me: No, she's dead.
Keona (looks confused although I know her dad explained this to her)
Me: You know, she's in heaven now.
Keona (looks around and then at me): This isn't heaven.
Me (trying not to laugh): Well, this is just her body. The part that makes her alive is in heaven.

She didn't look convinced.

Me: Let's go play in the nursery.

Well, what would you have done?

Notes from Thunder Bay

Here I am, in Thunder Bay again. It's a bit unexpected since, between school and the new apartment, I did not see myself having enough money to fly home until somewhere around 2013. But...my grandmother died a couple days ago and the funeral is tomorrow and my parents agreed to pay for the flight if I could get away so here I am.
I am not writing about any of that today. I'm not ready to write about it just yet. Today is for other stuff. Like the 3 flights it took to get here and the fact that to get back to Edmonton I need to fly through Toronto. Does that even make sense?

Yesterday on the flight from Calgary to Edmonton there was TV access. I haven't watched TV in over a month so I thought I'd check it out. I flew Air Canada (never my first choice but we were booking too late to fly WestJet) and Air Canada give you free-that-you-can-keep headphones and you can watch prerecorded shows or movies so there's no starting-half-way-through stuff to deal with. I checked out all the channels they had and ended up watching CSI New York. I don't think I've been missing much. I was going to watch Prince Caspian but by the time I found it I figured there wasn't enough time to watch the whole thing.

My sister's babies are all growing up. The baby is 2 now and he never stops moving. Never. Except when I wanted to hug him and he clung to mommy until I bribed him with candy. Now we're friends again. Because I have no shame when it comes to getting hugs from small nephews. The older three kids were quite willing to climb on me and give me hugs and cuddles and kisses. I'm very happy to be among them.

One last thing: I was sitting in the play room and I found a small book. It's called Mousie Takes a Bite and it's about Mousie trying different foods and how they taste (very deep stuff, I know). Anyway, on the last page it says "Uh-oh! The cat wants to taste something, too!" and there's a picture of the cat, mouth wide open, holding Mousie by the tail. What type of children's book is this?? I'm really surprised it hasn't been censored! (Actually it's sort of funny).

Music and the Radio

According to the weather network it is 14C outside. I'm happy with that. The high today seemed to be around 16 (but they may be a bit off). You know what Monday's high was? 35C. Now how it went down that much that quickly I don't know, but I'm glad it did.

Okay, so on to today's topic. I was just listening to the radio (waiting to hear the weather report) when another song came on that I don't like. It was about "that summer" with the girl and the sex and the smoking strange things. I turned the radio off (hence the weather network report) and I thought about how often I'm doing that lately. I like the country station because I like country music and they're usually okay but lately I've been more and more bothered by the contents of some of the songs. Not all of them, but there are things that I listened to a year ago that bother me now. I'm thinking more about the lyrics and not just listening to the music. I don't agree with sex (outside of marriage) or excessive drinking or a lot of other stuff they glorify so why am I filling my head with it?

It must be these prayers for discernment I've been praying. I was only thinking about the reading I've been doing and the stuff I encounter at work, but evidently it's overflowing into other parts of my life. I think I'll keep on praying. I want to hate the things He hates.

Looking Back

It's been a long year and there have been a lot of changes in my life. Mostly, though, I've changed a lot. I'm not the same "me" I was a year ago. I don't know how much anyone else would notice because most of the change is on the inside. I think more. I think differently. I'm less afraid and more willing to trust God.

Going forward is difficult and challenging. Sometimes I want to go back to where I was; at least it was comfortable and known. I can't do it though, and when I think about it, I really don't want to. The future is exciting and scary all at once.

Besides, I like what's happening. I'm going to school. I'm learning all the time. I have new thoughts to ponder. I'm stretching and knocking down walls that have tried to box me in.

In Which I Discover Wordle

Because it's still too hot to think, I present to you....


I don't know how to make it bigger in the blog, but just click on it to see it properly. It was fun to play with. I may have to wordle sights at random!

Heat

It's too hot to think. When it cools off again I'll try to think again.

2 weeks to the end of summer. 2 weeks until school goes back. 2 weeks of kids in the centre all day.

September will be better.

Things that Make Me Happy (part 2)

1. There's this little guy at work. When he first started he was close to impossible: he was rude and wouldn't work and thought he was stupid. I've been teaching him the most because I can deal with him and I don't mind dealing with him (his mom especially lets him get away with stuff and is easily manipulated so it was mostly a case of being firm and waiting him out). We've been working on words and on short vowel sounds and I've been watching him become less frustrated and more able and willing to decode (and we make sure all the words are easily decoded; for any others he comes upon we just give him the word). One day last week he picked up the book we'd been working on, pushed my hand aside, and read the story. All by himself. Sounding out all the words. Refusing all help. I don't know which of us was happier. My boy can read.
2. I have a little Children's Church class, a group of 3-6 year olds (although on Sunday it wasn't so little; there were 13 of them and where they all came from is anyone's guess). There are other teachers but since I run it I tend to be teaching more than the others and I love it. I love all the babies (I've laid claim to all the children at church of course!) and I love teaching so it works well. It is how I can serve. Sometimes, though, I wonder if they're listening and if I'm getting through and if there's any purpose to it all. These times are usually right after I've spent 45 minutes trying to get them to sit still and sit up and stop poking and knocking on the table and yelling out "who's there" and.....well, you understand. Anyway....a couple weeks ago we had a baptism service and some of my kids (who are older now and how did that happen by the way) were being baptized. The pastor asked one of them a question about her testimony and she started with, "Well, I was in Children's Church and Miss Dorothy said..." And suddenly it's all worthwhile. And I was happy (and I cried too of course).

Okay, there you go: things that really make me happy.

ps Patty? You make me happy too! And I'm so proud of you for dealing with all the stuff over the past few months. But remember: you're still my baby sister!

Happy, Happy, Happy

Yay, internet access!!!!! I am so happy!!

Okay, I have to go play now. I'll write properly another time

Things That Make Me Happy

1. Babies
2. Books
3. Libraries (and especially since they have internet access and interlibrary loans)
4. Bookstores
5. Goldfish crackers
6. Internet access (2 more days)
7. Happy students
8. Air conditioned buildings that don't have the air blasting
9. Letters (the type people write, not the type you need to make words, although I like those ones too)
10. Freshly mowed grass
11. My apartment
12. Apple juice
13. Really cold milk
14. Dark chocolate
15. Flowers
16. Being a student again
17. Teaching
18. Puzzles (and finishing them)
19. Sunshine
20. Thunderstorms that break the heatwave
21. Ice cream
22. My denim skirt

Okay, that's it for now. Nothing too deep, I know; stay tuned for part 2 whenever I get to it.

Quick Update

I'm moved into my new place and I really, really, really like it! It's not too big and not too small, so it's just right!

The only fly in my ointment: no internet access until August 10. That's, like, forever!

I'll try to check in before then and write a real post on some things I've been thinking about whenever I'm close enough to a computer with enough time.

Still Moving...

We brought most of the stuff over to the apartment this evening. It went faster than I thought it would, and we got all the furniture and most of the other stuff in one load. All that's left for tomorrow is stuff I need tonight, stuff I don't want to lose and have to sort through boxes for, and a bit of very fragile and important stuff. I'm looking around my room (from the floor since we took all the furniture; I'll sleep in the guest room tonight) and I think that this is about as much stuff as I had when I moved out here. There was maybe another suitcase, but that's about it. I still don't know where it all came from!

Tomorrow morning we will move the rest of the stuff and I will have officially moved into my own apartment. Then all I have to do is unpack.

I don't know when I'll have internet access; hopefully it won't take too long! Of course there's always the library, but I won't have one as close as I do now. Well, I'll survive!

Getting Ready to Move

My room does not really look like my room anymore. Most of the stuff is packed and either in the hall or the dining room, ready to lug into cars and off to the new apartment. I can see 3 books in my room (actually there are a few more in my backpack). The bookcases are empty and most of them have been moved out. Most of what's left to pack are clothes and last minute bits of stuff. It's very strange and empty.

We went to the apartment last night because I got the keys yesterday and I wanted to show it off a bit. It really is a nice little place with lots of kitchen cupboards, a balcony with a door from the living room and another one from my bedroom, and a little laundry room. We took the first few boxes then. There was a real mix of stuff thanks to my "put it wherever it fits" style of packing: books, files, paper cups, Christmas tree lights, coasters, a stuffed kitten, and some office supplies, to name a few! Today and tomorrow my current landlady brought/will bring a load of stuff while I'm at work and Thursday night I've borrowed a friend's van and her husband to move the big furniture. Friday is officially moving day, though, and that's when I'll be in my new place for real.

I'm nervous and excited and tired...so tired...I really don't like packing!

Wrapping Up and a Confession

Today was the last day of classes. This has been the most wonderful week. I have learned so much and been challenged on so many points. I've learned how much I don't know and how much I have to learn. I've also learned the beginning of how to learn more.

I am not ready to go home. Usually at the end of being away I switch into "can't wait to go home" mode. It's not happening this time. I have been so happy here. This has been the best week ever. You know how sometimes you can wait and long for something and build it up so much there's no way it can match your expectations and, as good as the reality is, it's a bit of a letdown? I was a bit afraid that this would be like. It wasn't. It was everything I hoped for and then some.

But, in the morning, I must leave. Work and other responsibilities await me. And home is good. I will be back in my own church on Sunday with my flock of babies to teach. I am happy there too. I wish I could be in both places.

Oh, and the confession: I went back to the bookstore and bought 3 more books.

Quick Thoughts

American coke isn't as good as Canadian coke.

It was actually quite nice outside today; not too hot with an occasional cool wind.

I went to the campus bookstore and managed to leave with only 2 new books.

I have to write a paper tonight.

The Master's College is my new favourite place!

Bits of Stuff

Someone did the conversion for me today and told me that it was 38 degrees outside. Translation: way too hot! Our classroom was too chilly yesterday (we can't find any way to control the temp) so we opened all the windows and doors to balance out the A/C and then again this morning; by the end of the morning it was feeling pretty good and we were able to start closing doors and windows again!

We got ID photos today and library cards. Of course there really isn't time to check out, read, and return books; not if I'm going to keep up with classes and the homework.

Speaking of homework: we had a historical context paper due yesterday for hermeneutics. Abner returned them today. He gave us two marks: the one the paper deserved and the one we actually got. Because it was our first paper and we're still learning what's expected he was lenient about the marking but he wanted us to know where we needed to improve. Which is pretty cool since it improved my mark significantly!

The food here is really good and there is a lot of it. For example: today for lunch I had salad, a hot dog, and enchiladas. I did not have other types of salad, french fries, broccoli, pork wraps, beans, or whatever else was there (I know there was one more dish, but I forget what). Then, just in case we starve between meals, there's the snack room. It has coffee, tea, water, cold drinks, granola bars, cookies, chips, chocolate, fruit, bagels, veggies, goldfish crackers.....Abner says he once moved his class into the snack room!

Our class only has 9 students (in fact hermeneutics only has 8 since one girl is only taking the one class). The Biblical Counseling program has about 30 first year students, but Biblical Studies is relatively new. I guess in later summers the classes may be smaller because not everyone will take the same classes every year; after all, I'm only here for a week but one guy is here for all 3 weeks so next summer I'll be taking some of the classes he's taking in the next 2 weeks. I like the smallness of it though. It's easier to get to know people, although 4 of our students commute so they aren't here in the evenings. And a lot of the people I have meals with and stuff are from Biblical Counseling.

I still love it here.

First Day of Classes

I love being a student. I love being in classes, listening, taking notes, learning and learning and learning. It was a long day and by the end I was so tired I could hardly think but it is completely worth it.

This morning I had Introduction to Biblical Studies with Dr Paul Thorsell. Dr Thorsell is in his early 50's and is a very good teacher. We have class notes that he follows fairly well but he will get off on occasion to illustrate a point and he expands on the notes as well. He walks around some when he teaches and sits on the edge of the desk when he's answering questions. So far it's mostly lecture but he stops to make sure we're all understanding and he's okay with interruptions for clarification.

In the afternoon I have Hermeneutics with Abner Chou. Abner is very different; he's younger, to start with (not yet 30; it's a bit strange to learn that I'm older than my teacher) and more animated. He uses illustrations, analogies, and hastily drawn pictures, charts, diagrams, etc. as he teaches. Abner is more informal but very passionate about the truth and the Bible. I'm not sure which one I prefer as I am learning well from both of them.

I am so happy that I came and I thank God all the time for letting me be here. The days are long and tiring but the teaching is so good I don't think I'll ever get enough.

Favourite quote (during a story about a minister totally misusing scripture):
"You're wielding a double-edged sword and waving it around like it's a butter knife."

The Master's College

My first thought is that it is way too hot here! And the dorms are at the top of a very steep hill (everything else, of course, is at the bottom). But it's amazing. From my window I can see the hills and the mountains in the distance. It's not at all like home, which of course is flat; also, it's so much drier here so the colours are different; more muted, I think, yellows and darker green with bits of brighter green here and there. The houses that I can see are all yellowish with red roofs.

I've met a lot of people, mostly from the states of course, but another Canadian, one from the Dominican Republic, and a woman from Japan who figures that about the time she gets over jet lag it will be time to go home! We talk a lot about homes and families and programs (it seems most people are in Biblical Counseling; so far we've only found 4 of us in Biblical Studies). Some people are on the "suicide track" (a.k.a. the very intense 2 year plan); the rest of us are working on completing in 4 to 6 years instead!

They don't serve meals on Saturdays (and the only official Sunday meal is breakfast but we stopped for lunch after church and there's a welcome banquet tonight) so, since most of us arrived in the afternoon we were hungry by evening! We were waiting for the shuttle bus driver to ask if he would drop us off in town on his way through and pick us up on the way back (it's a bit of a walk; not so bad going but uphill all the way back) when another guy came over to see if anyone wanted to go get some food; he had driven (he lives about 6 hours away) and had a car and knew a good pizza place. A group of us went with him and he's right: it is really good pizza! We brought a couple back for the others as well so everyone got fed.

This morning we went to Grace Community Church. I was hoping to hear John MacArthur preach but he's on vacation; Phil Johnson (the chief of the Pyromaniacs; see the link to the side) preached instead; he talked about Ephesians 2:8-10. It was really good stuff. The church is huge; I think their choir is bigger than our entire church! That was for first service; during second service we went to one of the fellowship groups; I ended up in Crossroads, the college and young adults (official ages: 18-25, so I decided to be 25 again!) which was interesting. They were definitely young adult oriented with the praise band and mostly praise songs (but they sang one hymn; let me tell you, though, "O For a Thousand Tongues" sounds somewhat different with drums and electric guitars than it does with an organ). The songs, though, were good songs with good doctrine and they didn't sing the choruses 6 times over (you know the type I mean) and the speaker was really good. He talked about Paul before King Agrippa and about being able to give a testimony that highlights salvation. It was a good morning.

So now most people are finishing homework or having some down time. Most of us are still tired from travel and we didn't all sleep well last night (one girl kept waking up sweating and then finally thought "hey, I bet that thing under the window turns on"). In an hour or so we have a tour of the campus and then the welcome banquet. Tomorrow classes start and I can't wait! If I have time and energy I'll try to keep you all updated!

Ready

Library books have been returned.
The paper is written, rewritten, proof read, and printed.
Books have been sorted for the garage sale.
Laundry is done (we have water again).
Bags are packed.

I cannot believe it is finally time. I have wanted Bible college since I was 17. I have wanted The Master's College for a year. I thought it would not happen. I prayed, and then I prayed more, and one by one the obstacles fell. It has been so amazing watching God work. I still pray, often, for wisdom and ability and knowledge and the desire to study when I want to play. I think, if I could not get into school without God's help, I won't get through it without Him. I pray that I will always remember why I'm doing this: to know Him and to serve Him more and better.

And in about 8 hours I will leave the house for a week of classes. It is finally time. I am ready.

Getting Ready to Leave

Okay, so I'm leaving for school in the morning and all I have to do is check my paper for any glaring errors, go to the library, finish going through books to determine which ones will make it into the garage sale, do laundry, pack....

And, hey, did I mention that the hot water heater is broken? And that until the guy comes later today (and no one knows when) we have no water because the cold water is shut off too so that means no laundry and no packing and I'll end up doing it in the middle of the night and I don't like having my plans messed up when I'm this busy! And I don't like having so much to do and feeling that I'm wasting the day because I can't do it all. Plus it means other people are grumpy because they can't plan their day either because they have to wait for the guy to show up. Yeah, it's fun stuff around here.

It's shaping up to be a stressful day. I think I'll go hide somewhere until the water is back and everyone is happy again. Maybe at the library, eh?

So if you have a minute today, pray for me. I'm stressed and excited and worried about what school will be like and basically a mix of emotions. I like structure and plans and knowing what to expect so, yeah, this is a bit rough.

3 days

I have been waiting since I was 17 to go to Bible College and now I leave in 3 days!!!!! In a sense, of course, I've been 'attending' since I started the work in March but next week I will actually be on campus in classes learning from professors.

Okay, I have a paper to finish before I leave so I'd better go write.

Hey, did I mention I'm going to school?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

What I Wish People Would Understand

Actually, there are a lot of things, but this one is about me right now...

Yes, I am going to school in California next week. And you all respond the same way: like I should be more excited about California than about school; that school is secondary to the joy of the location, and it's really just an excuse for a little vacation.

Listen to me, people:

1. I will be in classes from 8:30 - 12:30 and then from 1:30 - 5:30. After that there's homework. This is not some vacation on the beach type of trip. Yes, there will be time to relax but not to do all the touristy stuff you all think I'm going to do and recommend that I do. It's school, people. It means work.
2. I don't mind the work. I have waited for 16 years to go to Bible college and now I get to go and I plan to take advantage of every bit of learning I can get.
3. I don't like heat. I am happiest when it's in the mid-20's. Right now in Santa Clarita it's in the 30's. This is very hot to this northerner. I do not function well when it's very hot. I find it very tiring.
4. I did not choose the school for its location. I chose it for its teachings and for the program.

Okay, I feel better now. I know there will still be people who have already made up their minds about how this is really a vacation and I'll spend more time on the beaches than in class. That, they think, is what they would do, and they certainly don't believe me when I try to explain any of the above (if they even listen). I think that they are judging me based on what they would do. Me, I am counting down the days until I can finally be at school.

(4 days until I leave)

Stuff

Where did all the stuff come from???? I've been sorting through stuff; my landlady's daughter is having a garage sale next weekend and anything I don't want (or don't want to pack) that ends up in the garage will get sold. It's good to get rid of stuff, but ten boxes of books and stuff and two garbage bags of clothes (and I'm not quite done the sorting or the big bookcase) is a lot of stuff that I don't need or want but own anyway.

It's got me thinking. What is with this need to accumulate stuff? Why do I shop? It's not because I need stuff (well, not always) or I wouldn't be able to get rid of so much of it. There's some part of me that wants to own stuff. It's the joy of ownership but it doesn't last, and I end up buying more stuff. It's not good. I need to learn to be content with what I already have.

Just to keep life interesting...

I've decided that I don't have enough on my plate now. School and works and church stuff just aren't taking up enough of my time. Or they've just caused me to lose my mind. Anyway, next month, after I get back from school, I'm moving.

(To my family: this counts as telling you, okay? And I'm not leaving Edmonton.)

I have friends who have a little condo that they want to rent and they offered me first dibs. I like it, I like the location, and I'm ready to move.

If you're looking me, I'll be sleeping, studying, or packing. Or possibly trying to decide how to add even more stress to my life!

To continue...

On the church letting people down:

It isn't always the church. I know parents who won't take a firm stand, who like the words "some people believe..." rather than simply "the Bible says... ." They make God soft and Scripture flexible. Then they wonder why their children question or wander away from the church or doubt everything. They blame the church for not meeting the needs of the young people.

Might it be because the parents haven't given their children anything solid? They are brought up on soft belief and it won't hold up under pressure.

The Church

I'm overhearing a conversation right now about how the church has let/is letting young people down. The church needs to change with the times and offer things that young people want: less theology, less doctrine, more "meeting their needs" and gatherings; it needs to be more interesting for the young people. It needs to be more "where they're at" (I'm not sure what that means).

I go to a reformed Baptist church. Our "worship band" is a keyboard and sometimes a flute with a couple people leading music. They just stand there and sing; no dancing there. There's scripture reading and expository sermons. We sit in rows and listen to the preacher who preaches with authority. All of our 'programs' consist of Sunday School, Children's Church, Youth Group, and a couple mid-week Bible Studies. All of them focus on the Bible and truth. I think it would be labeled "boring" by those who are having the converstation. I don't think they would approve. There should be more "freedom in worship" and more "relevant" activities and things to attract people.

So perhaps you can explain why people keep coming, including young couples with small children or teenagers; they are exactly the people who should be looking for something else, something with better programs and exciting worship and less doctrine.

Interesting fact: some of the people in that conversation don't quite believe everything I say about my church. They have trouble believing that the pastor talks about sin and that the sermons don't leave people "feeling good" and that the pastor is older because if all this was true, young people simply wouldn't come and I could not like it as much as I do. It doesn't compute in their minds.

What I'm Reading

I've finished The Truth War by John MacArthur. It took a while to finish because it was very deep stuff and it took a lot of thought.

One thing that stood out was the need to learn from history; this has come up in other books as well. There are all sorts of ideas and beliefs floating around and they're often spoken of as being some sort of new revelation, but many of them have been around on and off (and proven false) since the early days of Christianity.

The other thing is to know the truth and to be willing to stand up for it. It's easier to let things slide or simply to keep silent about topics that I know will upset people or lead to confrontation (and accusations of narrow-mindedness or insistance that one view is just as valid as another or whatever refusal to listen technique they throw at me).

Yeah, so go read the book.

This One's Really for Patty

I present to you: Monkey Bread

Start with:

1 tsp granulated sugar
1/2 cup lukewarm water
1 pkg (1 tbsp) yeast

In a large bowl, disolve the sugar in water and sprinkle the yeast on top; let it stand for about 10 minutes.

Meanwhile scald:

1 cup milk
1/2 cup butter

until the butter is melted; cool to luke warm. Mix the yeast briskly with a fork and add the milk/butter. To this add:

1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 1/2 tsp salt
3 eggs, beaten
3 cups all-purpose flour

Beat well. Gradually add more flour (up to another 2 1/2 cups, but not necessarily that much) to make a soft dough. Knead it well and place it in a greased bowl, turning the bread to grease the top as well. Let the bread rise until doubled (about 1-1 1/2 hours).

Punch down the dough and roll it out to about 1/2" thickness. Cut it into 2" squares (more or less; it doesn't matter if it isn't perfect). Melt 1/2 cup butter and dip squares into the butter; arrange them in a 10" (4 L) tube pan. Cover and let it rise again until doubled (about 1 hour).

Cook at 375 for 45 minutes.

Rip pieces off and enjoy!

Time Wasters

I stopped watching tv once because it was taking up too much time (and the shows weren't really that edifying).
Unfortunately, I ended up on the computer instead.
Now I spend too much time watching tv and on the computer.

So here's the thing: if I stop doing something useless or time-wasting but don't start something worthy, I end up in the same (or a worse) position. It's just easier to do nothing.

I'm cutting back on tv again (except when The Netherlands is playing in the Euro cup; let's not be mixing up loyalty with wasting time) and turning off the computer more. I plan to spend the time studying and doing other important stuff.

Um...any ideas about what may be considered important?

Procrastination

I should be starting to research Nehemiah and coming up with a thesis/topic sentence for the paper. Instead I have...

1. printed out pictures for the rest of the Children's Church lessons to the end of 2 Kings (or until the 2nd week of October, which kills writing lessons as a worthy procrastination tool until fall)
2. baked bread
3. read a chapter of "An Introduction to Biblical Hermeneutics" (which doesn't really count since it was on the to-do list anyway)
4. gone for a nice walk because I needed to get out of the house for a bit
5. checked email and Facebook
6. blogged, the latest in my list of procrastination tools.

Guess how excited I am about doing that research!

From Lamentations 2

16All your enemies
Have opened their mouths wide against you;
They hiss and gnash their teeth
They say, "We have swallowed her up!
Surely this is the day for which we waited;
We have reached it, we have seen it."

17The LORD has done what He purposed;
He has accomplished His word
Which He commanded from days of old
He has thrown down without sparing,
And He has caused the enemy to rejoice over you;
He has exalted the might of your adversaries

Do you see it? The enemies are so proud of what they have done... but it wasn't them at all! It was what God had purposed and He did it.

It's still true. No matter what people do, it is really God's plan; His purposes will prevail.

Big Thoughts

This morning while I was praying I was thinking about how God made everything, and I was thinking about how big and complex the universe is. There is so much that we don't know or understand yet.

And God is more than the universe. He made it which means he's outside it and greater than it and more amazing..... And my mind would not take it it. Could not take it in. It is too much for a finite mind, to comprehend an infinite God. All I could do was sit in wonder.

That's what I mean by Big Thoughts: the ones that you can't quite grasp, that are too much for your mind. The things that are beyond us but that point to the awesomeness of God.

Because he says it so well...

...go read what Chad has to say lately. It's good stuff.

(and take a quick minute to admire my ability to include a link)

More on Learning

The thing is that learning changes people, or at least it changes me. Everything I've been learning is making me grow and stretch and change. It's not just school; in fact, it's not really school. It's Bible study and church and Sunday School and the study with the elder and how it all ties together. It's seeing God working in my life and wanting to know Him more. The thing is, nothing is properly learned until you apply it all and that's what I'm trying to do. And it means changing behaviours and thoughts and attitudes.

And it's tough stuff. Learning and growing isn't easy and sometimes it hurts. It takes time and energy and sometimes I want to give up. And sometimes I look around and I'm not sure where I fit now. It's hard.

But it's worth it. It's always worth it.

Question:

If you don't accept the sovereignty of God, how can you accept even the possibility of prophecy? Accurate prophecy would necessitate God working in people's lives in very specific ways. Wouldn't it?

Learning

I've been studying a lot lately. I have another exam next week so I've been trying to understand everything about New Testament introduction. It's a lot of new ideas (and some bits that I already knew) to fit into my brain somewhere!

I've also been reading a lot lately (big surprise, I know). The thing is, my reading is gradually shifting from mostly fiction to mostly nonfiction. I still spend some time in fiction to give my brain a break, but there's a lot of other stuff going in there as well.

Here's what I'm learning about learning:
First, it's hard work. I think I'd gotten rather lazy in my reading for a while and now I have to retrain my brain to think harder and to sort through what I'm reading. I can't just accept everything when I'm reading nonfiction.

Second, the more I work at learning the more I want to learn. It's like I've woken up a very hungry part of my brain and it always wants more. I need to be careful, actually, that I don't overdo things and get burned out too fast. I like it though; it's making me look at the world differently and it's very exciting to learn and to want to learn and to have the opportunity to learn.

Small Nephews

It's May now and that means 2 very important nephews are having birthdays.

Oldest nephew is turning 15 this month. I am not ready for him to be 15. I remember clearly the day he was born. My mum was in the delivery room with my sister-in-law and I was waiting outside when Mum walked out with this small bundle in her arms. We watched the nurse weigh and measure him and give him a needle (poor baby) and then she wrapped him back up, turned around, and handed him to me. That is one of my happiest memories, holding this tiny nephew for the first time. And now he towers over me and the last time I saw him he picked me up in a hug. I still call him Baby Boy and he calls me Shorty (that's Auntie Shorty to him!). I think I am not ready for him to be 15.

Youngest nephew is turning 2 and I am not ready for that either. He's supposed to stay a baby because my sister has made it very clear that he is the last! I was not there when he was born. Why not? Because a certain baby nephew would not come at the right time! I happened to be in town when he was due, but he choose to enter the world two days after I left. Rotten kid! I have only seen him a few times. He's small and active and so funny. I recently received a little video of him on Facebook telling me that he's turning 2 (as he holds up all 5 fingers!) and blowing me kisses. He is the most adorable little dude.

I am not ready for oldest nephew to be 15 or for baby nephew to be 2.

In a Better Mood

In case you didn't notice, I was not very happy last time I posted. It had been a frustrating time and I was tired of people.
The words might be accurate but the heart behind them was way off. What right do I have to even consider refusing forgiveness to someone who needs it? It's really a pride issue: I think I deserve to be treated better.
So I've been praying a lot about this and confessing my own need for forgiveness in this area...again. And, once again, God has forgiven me.

Forgiveness

Here's what I think: sometimes people expect forgiveness as their due and sometimes it keeps them from taking the time to avoid hurting people.
It's easier to ask forgiveness than to get permission, right?
But easier on whom?

The First Week

I've been in my new position for a week, and I am loving it! It's nice to wake up in the morning and not start off wondering what will happen at work and who will need me and if I'm ready for everything.... Now I wake up happy, ready to deal with whatever comes my way, and relaxed.
All the stress of the old position is gone. I do my job, I do it well, and I leave it behind when I go home. I like the people I work with (for the record, I liked the people I was working with as well), and we have fun together.
Yes, it's still work. There are still things that I enjoy more. Overall, though, this is really looking like a good move for me.
I enjoy going to work again.

When to Keep Silent

The Situation: A group of us are sitting around. Someone explains an illustration that some famous guy used to prove a point. Another person insists that the illustration is dumb because she doesn't understand it.

What I am Thinking: Just because you don't understand it doesn't make it dumb. Maybe the problem isn't the illustration....

What I Said: Nothing. Are you kidding? There was no way I was going to come up with anything that wouldn't get me in trouble.

Question

If you do not accept the sovereignty of God can you logically accept the inspiration and inerrancy of Scripture?

What I'm Reading

Right now I'm in the depths of "Girls Gone Mild" by Wendy Shalit. In a nutshell, it talks about how being a "bad girl" isn't all it's cracked up to be, how liberal views on sex don't liberate women at all. For the record, I agree.
Here's the thing: there has long been a double standard by which sex made boys studs and girls sluts; girls were usually held to a higher standard.
Which, as an aside, has its own perplexities: boys are allowed to "sow their wild oats" and girls had to stay pure? How does that even work?
Anyway, back to the point: Eventually girls decided that the double standard was wrong, probably sometime during the Woman's Lib movement when equality was the big word (by which they meant "sameness" which is another impossibility but that's for another day). Only to become equal, instead of raising the standard for boys then lowered the standard for girls. So now we can all be equally bad.
And somehow this is supposed to be good for girls.

As an aside...

If you have a website with free Christian printables and I stumble upon said website in the search for a coloring picture to go with a Bible story, and you use the word "cute" 4 times I am likely to gag and never return to your website.
I am not looking for "cute." I will not subject my students to "cute."
Especially not when the story is from 1 Kings 13 and the guy gets torn to pieces by a lion.

Inerrancy

I've been doing a lot of reading for school over the past week, trying to take advantage of my time off and trying to understand the documentary hypothesis of the Pentateuch in its classic (Wellhausen)form. If anyone out there understands it, could you please explain it to me?
What has interested me (and what I have understood) are the chapters about inerrancy and inspiration. We cannot accept only parts of Scripture as inspired; it all works together so well it's either all or nothing. And if it could be partially inspired, who decides what parts? Where do we draw the line? No, if we cannot accept that all Scripture is from God, then we have to let it all go. Once we start to decide based on human wisdom and reasoning what is and isn't from God we make ourselves out to be greater than God, able to judge His words.

On Leaving

Well, it's official: I am no longer director at Southside. Technically, I'm not yet working at the other centre; do I even have a job description this week? The point is, at 1:00 Wednesday afternoon I dropped my keys on the desk and declared myself DONE!!!!
I have mixed feelings. I am very happy for the break, I am very happy to be leaving this position and its stress. I am very sad to be leaving my staff, though; I hired most of them, trained all of them, and have really enjoyed my time with them. We made a great team. I am a bit nervous about starting at the other centre where I really don't know anyone. So, yeah, mixed emotions.
That's why it took me 10 minutes to walk out of the centre on Wednesday, but when I walked away, I didn't look back. It was time.

Snow

Last weekend it was summer. Now winter is back for one last stand (at least I hope it gives up after this). It's cold and snowing and blowing and I am not liking it. I slogged through snowdrifts up to my knees to get to work. Plus, I have a cold. It is times like this that it is very, very hard to remember that God is sovereign over the weather and therefore He has a purpose for this and so, ultimately, it is good. It doesn't feel good.
On a more positive note: I only have 2 days left, it's only 1:00 and I'm about to leave work, my nephew made the soccer team, I taught the kids about David and Bathsheba without having to say "ask your parents" once, and I finally won a chess game. So, yeah, life isn't all snow.

Counting down....

2 hours and 45 minutes today.
6-8 hours tomorrow (depending on how quickly I can finish everything).
4 hours on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
Total: 22-24 hours and 45 minutes.
Not that I'm counting down or anything.
I'm almost done. I should already be done. I was supposed to be done last week. But the head honcho boss asked if I would stay for an extra week, and then for 3 more days (which I'm doing as half days). But it's almost over and then I have a week off. If you're looking for me, I'll be asleep or studying.
And after that? A new position at a different centre with normal hours (10-6 and no overtime (I hope)) and only 4 days a week. Time to keep up with schoolwork. Time to relax. Time to do all the things (or at least some of the things) that I want to be doing and should be doing.
By this time next week I'll be done. The end is in sight.

Idol and God

UPDATED BELOW

To set the scene: I was watching the end of an American Idol special this evening. It was, I think, called "Idol Gives Back" and they were raising money for some charity or other. I came in near the end and didn't pay a lot of attention to detail.
Okay, to get to the point: the last song they sang was "Shout to the Lord" complete with a choir. The people I was watching it with were talking about how great it is that they sang it and how much Christian music there was in the show, and other happy stuff. My thoughts were different.
First, they changed the first line from "My Jesus" to "My Shepherd" and thus made the song just a generic "religious" song.
Second, I really don't believe that all those people there singing the song were all Christians. I suppose it's possible, but highly unlikely. What I do think is that they were using God and religion the same way they were using emotional songs to get people to give. It bothered me. It still bothers me.

Friday: I didn't watch Idol last night, but I am told that they sang the song again and this time they didn't change the words. Which is better, but I still wonder at the motivation behind the original decision to sing it.

When?

I want everything to happen in my time (read: right now!). I do not like waiting for God's time, except in those rare cases that His time and my time match. I know that everytime I'm patient and wait it out, His time always works better than my time.

When I was 17, I wanted to go to Bible college. I applied, I was accepted, and for whatever reason, I didn't get to go. Twice when I was in my 20's I applied, I was accepted, and for whatever reason, I didn't get to go. I was not happy about it any of those times.

I started my first class at The Master's College this week. I am finally attending (in a manner of speaking) Bible college. I have waited 16 years, and I am admitting....I am more ready now than I was then. As always, His time was better than my time.

On Being Asked the Question..

"But what about all the people who believe something else? How do you know they're not right?"

There are variations on that question but they all mean the same thing and they're usually asked in a "Hah! Answer that!" tone. You know that one: annoying and agravating and arrogant. There is probably a smug look on his face. The person is sure that he has just asked the unanswerable question.

What I'd like to answer: "WHAT DO YOU THINK FAITH IS ALL ABOUT, YOU POMPOUS, ARROGANT MORON?!?!?"

That doesn't seem quite Christ-like, though, so I manage to refrain (even though I really hate that tone). The thing is, the questioner doesn't want an answer; he just wants to be right and has already decided that he has won. Any answer will be rejected with the words "Yeah, but what if you're wrong?" or "But how do you know?" or some such question.

The asking of the question usually signals the end of any real conversation.

Forwarded emails

I have 3 issues with forwarded emails:

1. The emails that say "this really works!!!" and tells me to forward it to however many people and my wish will come true or whatever. My point is, how does the person sending it already know that it works? Hm? Or am I on your second list of people to send it to?

2. My brother forwards it to everyone on his list including me. My other brother gets the email as well and forwards it to everyone on his list including me....it can go on for a while.

3. I will not be guilted into sending anything forward or back. If you don't know if we're friends, why am I in your contact list anyway? And trust me, Jesus already knows that I love Him, and I don't have to forward anything to anyone to prove it.

When denial fails

I work with children all the time. The sticky, messy, germy, throwing-up-at-work-and-coughing-in-my-face kind of children. In theory I should be sick all winter thanks to these children. I have always insisted that the reason I stay healthy is denial: I don't have time to be sick, I refuse the acknowledge that I'm sick, and I simply tell the assorted ailments to come back when I have more time.

Denial has failed. I have a cold. I'm stuffy and snuffly and miserable and trying to refrain from coughing all over those rotten kids who are responsible for this. I don't do sick very well unless I can hide from the world, sleep for a couple days, and get over it. Only I can't. I'm not sick enough (in my mind) to justify not working or studying or doing whatever it is I should be doing right now instead of blogging. I'm just too sick to do it all cheerfully.

I do not have the time or patience for this nonsense, so I am going to go and work on denial. I am not sick. I am not sick. I am not sick.

Thoughts on Thoughts

First, a disclaimer: this is not my own thought. This is my friend Dawn's thought, but she said I could use it.
Here's the saying: "It's the thought that counts." Here's the question: is it, really? Or is it the action that counts? There are 2 thoughts on this (and they both count).
First, if you do something and mean well and it doesn't quite turn out right, it may be the thought that counts. If someone buys you a present because they care about you, and they are sure that you will really love it, it's the thought that counts. Even if you hate the present. In this case, you may want to look at the heart behind it.
On the other hand, if you think about doing something for someone and you don't do it, then, yeah, it means nothing. Those times saying "it's the thought that counts" sounds like an excuse for being lazy or just not caring. Thoughts without actions are meaningless.
Those are my thought about Dawn's thoughts about thoughts. What are your thoughts?

Fun with the Kids

A couple small spiderman astronauts just walked into the room to tell me that they are headed off into space. One can only hope.

When the baby needed to be changed, I asked him to get a diaper. He tossed me the wipes. Then he found a diaper and threw it to me from across the room. Then he refused to come any closer. He does not like being changed. Instead he ran to Mommy. Who, of course, changed him. The baby needs to rething his hiding spots.

I watched the 5 year old play soccer. They have no concept of teamwork just yet and will try to take the ball from anyone just so they can kick it. Scoring is fun, even if it is against your own team. When they get tired, they simply fall down on the field. It was the funniest soccer game I have ever seen.

We baked today. Everything got mixed very well because all they really like doing is running the mixer. That and licking the beaters, bowl, spoon, etc.

The princess walked into the room to tell me about playing football. She was wearing a pink skort, a dirty Dora shirt, and a light-up bicycle helmet. And carrying a small plastic football. It was an interesting look.

It's been an interesting weekend.

Cooking with the Kids

I'm visiting my sister for a few days to help out a bit. Today the three younger kids and I were making casseroles to freeze. Cooking with a 7 year old, and 5 year old and a 20 month old is an experience. In fact the big kids were somewhat helpful. They stirred and grated and cleaned up. There was a lot of cleaning up!

And we had this conversation:
5 year old: That looks like pluke.
7 year old: It looks yuck.
Me: It's chicken taco casserole, not puke.
7 yr old: It looks yucky, but it'll be good, right?
5 yr old: It's not pluke, it just looks like pluke.

I hope they all enjoy the pluke casserole.

Time management and legalism

Sometimes I have time management issues. Really, they're time use issues. When I get home from work, I'm tired and I want to veg for a while...which becomes a longer while...and then it's bedtime and I haven't accomplished anything. It used to be tv watching that took up the time until I stopped watching tv (mostly) because it was a waste of time. The problem was, I replaced it with the computer and the joy of blog reading and internet surfing.

Okay, so the link to legalism: to combat this I want rules. I want someone to say "It's okay to watch these tv shows, or to watch for this amount of time, and to spend this much time on the computer." In fact I've tried making rules, but I don't follow them very well. I am the master of justifying my actions (or inaction).

So what's the answer? More rules? Probably not. All that creates is outward change that really doesn't last. What I need is to want to spend my time wisely rather than waste it. Which makes it a character issue. Which means that I have to change. Which is no fun.

cold

I'm cold. It's cold outside: very, very, very cold. According to the Weather Network it is -28, it feels like -40, and there is a wind chill warning. Plus, I'm at work and it's chilly in here and my fingers are cold. Plus my 10:00 appointment didn't show up (maybe because of the cold) and my 11:00 cancelled (they called in sick).
So I'm here waiting for my 1:00 appointment. Now I'm cold and annoyed at people who don't show up for appointments. Well, except the one who called in sick; I'm not annoyed when people call. And I wonder what happened to basic manners? When you can't make an appointment, is it not customary to call? It happens a lot around here: people forget, or something more important comes up, or they change their minds, and they don't bother to call. It's very annoying. Especially when I'm cold.

Depth

I was talking with a friend recently and mentioned the idea of "depth" in relation to Christianity. Specifically, we were talking about a friend who had tried some internet dating services and said that all the Christian men she met lacked depth. The friend I was talking with feels that depth can be measured by your willingness to set aside differences and get along. She feels that we need to focus on what we have in common and as long as we agree on "the cross" nothing else matters. She believes in compromise: you attend her church on Saturday and his on Sunday, for example. As long as you're both Christians, nothing else should matter to you.
I don't agree. I don't think that differences should stand in the way of friendships (or I'd have to stop being friends with this friend, so start with), but I don't think we can always just focus on what we have in common. There are differences that are important, and when it comes to serious relationships, they are worth considering. It seems to me that being willing to set aside or ignore what I believe (and I'm talking doctrine, not preferences) is proof of the shallowness of my beliefs rather than of depth. Yes, there are times to compromise, but there are also times to stand firm.

Sad but True

Okay, I have a confession to make. I watched the Superbowl on Sunday. I still think football is a silly game, but I watched anyway. In my defence, though, I had very good reasons for watching it: that's where the food was and I was working on being sociable...but mostly it was for the food (there was pizza). And I had my laptop and my book so I wasn't watching so much as I was in the same room as the tv.
But that's not the worst part. That much I can excuse on the basis of food and socialization. Then, part way through the 4th quarter, my landlady came home and we went down to the basement tv to watch something (anything) else. We ended up watching "Murdoch Mysteries" which was much more interesting than football. BUT... during commercials I kept flipping back to the game just to check what was happening. I seemed to have been hooked by football.
The only consolation I have is that I still think it's a silly game, I probably won't watch it again, and plus there was pizza. I'd do worse for pizza.

You explain it

This is what I've heard: God does not judge; He forgives.
If He isn't judging, what is He forgiving? Or how is He forgiving? Without judging us, how is He determining that we need forgiveness?
Am I the only one who doesn't understand this?

First thought

I figure, everyone else has a blog, so why not me? Because, after all, everyone wants to read my thoughts, right? On the other hand, this does allow me to write down my thoughts, pretend that people are reading them, and not bother anyone. And everyone wins! Plus, I like being able to tell people to check my blog!